THIS IS A PAID FOR PRESENTATION.
Do you need to point at things that are not too far away?
Have you ever felt the need to jab at things?
Do you have a slug infestation in one of your electrical junction boxes that caused a powercut at stupid O'Clock in the morning?
Then YOU NEED the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending)
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| Not actual size |
The THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is the latest in a line of high quality produce from the makers "PRE-HOLED SOCKS" and the ever popular "KITCHEN DRAW FULL OF DEAD BATTERIES" and is now available for general release.
The THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is perfect for the on the go types who need a multi tool for those times when other multi tools just won't do!
The THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is perfect for:
- Jabbing at things,
- Stabbing stuff,
- Pointing at objects a certain distance away,
- Flicking bits of stuff,
- A great toy for the dog to ignore,
- Starting fires,
- Holding,
- Looking at,
- Drawing a line in the sand when asking for volunteers for a suicide mission,
- Shaking at any number of objects*
- Scraping slugs out of your electrical junction box when the power goes off at 6AM in the morning.
Ideal for both right AND left handed users the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is now available by calling the number on your screen for the LOW LOW price of £12.99.
BUT WAIT!
Not only will you receive the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) for the one time payment of £12.99 but if you order now you will also receive the following items AT NO EXTRA COST:
- A fist full of gravel (Ideal for throwing at next doors cats)
- Some used batteries
- One Pre Holed Sock (perfect for those times when one of your socks "goes missing" in the wash")
Order your THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) today while stocks last!
*the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is only capable of being shaken at a certain number of objects and should be be shook towards any number of object that it can not handle as this will invalidate the warranty.
Thoughtless Gibberish and its affiliates hold no responsibility for any injury or damaged caused by misuse of the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending)
Not suitable for children or pregnant/nursing women.
This device is NOT fire proof or flame retardant.
WHAT Mr H I feel I have been stabbed with a pointy stick and not just any pointy, but a THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK. This is what happened when I was talking to my old mate Charlie Darwin about the evolution of birds and how they learnt to fly. After an apple fell on my head and I noticed that the apple could not actually fly due to something I called Gravity, but a bird could fly due to wings. So somewhere along the line the evolutionary process of apples with small wings allowing it to glide and with time turn into a bird, must have happened.
ReplyDeleteAnyway before you could say Flat Earth Society, Charlie had said it was his idea and some bloke called Isaac Hayes sorry Isaac Newton then claimed the apple fell on his head. So I am a little shocked to see my humble pointy stick turned into a modern sophisticated multi use device.
I am off to work on my own multi use pointy device with retractable pointy bits. . . . I plan to have it made in Switzerland, they are good at precision devices like watches and I plan to add a device to remove stones from a horses hoof . . . . You had not thought of that one. . . . . . HAH HAH HAH hah ha ha hah ah ah ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ah ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha hah ah ha ha ha ha hah ah hahah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha hah hha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Actually £12.99 seems like a good price I might buy one does it come with a lifetime guarantee and will it work underwater. .
Ooooooooo that Isaac Hayes wrote that song about pointy sticks, I remember it now, I was humming that on the bus one day and he asked if he could record it and add a few words.
It wasn't designed to work underwater , although it does float. so there is that at least.
DeleteAs for the life time guarantee.... it really does depend on how long customers plan to live for. If they have been eating bacon butties (and therefore plan on living forever) then the answer would be...no.
If, however, They live shorter lives than they would expect they can always send back the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) with proof of purchase and a covering letter and we here at TG would be more than happy to send a full refund*
*minus cost of postage, admin fees, depreciation of compound inflation will be taken into account and may cause the value of the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) to equal a negative value. in this event TG would ask for the difference to be sent in a brown envelope made up of loose coins....
Kids I understand, but why isn't it suitable for pregnant or nursing women? And nursing what, a hungover?
ReplyDeleteI was going to say that I like the no extra cost deal of something pointy that comes with some used batteries, (I have a charger) but I didn't want to be the one who brought the tone down...again.
Nursing women would have their hands busy with babies and washing up and ironing (all things that the THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH 11-IN-1 BESPOKE HANDHELD POINTY STICK (patent pending) is not yet capable of.. at least not version 1.0)
DeleteDon't worry about bringing the tone, I think we all know better than expect anything else from our Lily ;O)
I have just had a brilliant thought for a child friendly Pointy Stick. . . . . . The Pointless Pointy Stick . . . . I'm a genius I knew I was. . . .
DeleteChildren are notorious for getting things dirty, messy and they lose things all the time. You would have to make the stick wipe down clean.... A sticky-proof stick that sticks to the wall so you know where you left it!
DeleteAs long as I can use it to beat the child with after, I'm not fussed...
DeleteHow about a pointy stick that points at sticks in a pointy fashion at sticks that stick? See, university wasn't a waste of time after all.
The stick has been egonomically designed for use with Child training. Whilst not wanting to advocate hitting children (not in written form anyway) the stick has both a pointy end and rounded end.
DeleteMuch like when "uncle" Frankie would show his hand and say "This side for love.. this side for hate" I guess that's why God only put knuckles on one side......
Stabbing things you say? I'll take two.
ReplyDeleteSOLD! to the young man with plans for world domination!
Deleteyou lot are having a party behind my back. I may draw a stick man. . . . .
ReplyDeleteIf a stickman gets poorly is he is sick stickman?
Delete