10 Perfectly Valid Reasons To Hate Cows.

I hate cows.

This is fact that I have only told a select few through the years for fear of being ridiculed for my madness, but now I feel the world at large needs to know that these bovine creatures are not to be trusted under any circumstances.

So why do I distrust these animals that give us milk, burgers, leather shoes and steaks?

Here is a handy "cut-out-and-keep" guide to see for yourself.

1      Most cows are black and white. As most Herbivores tend to blend in with their natural surrounds   What sort of camouflage is that? The only conclusion is that cows should live near snowy coal mines.... BIT ODD THAT.

2      They sleep standing up.  Sleeping is a form of relaxation, that’s why we sleep lying down, but not cows.  They think it is much better to do it standing... just like when they are awake. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

3      They lie down when it rains.  When it rains I try to stand under a tree, or even better GO INSIDE! but your everyday cow simply gives up and has a lie down... idiots!

4      They have four stomachs. That's right FOUR. Why is this?  They only eat grass.  This is just pure greed.  Horses eat grass as do sheep and goats.  Between them they only have 3 stomachs.  Why do cows have 4! Even if you glued a horse a goat and asheep together they would still have less stomachs than one cow. Things are starting to weird!

5      Cows are just lazy horses and you can't prove otherwise.

6      The only good cow I ever saw was lying on plate with chip and brown sauce.

7      Communication between cows doesn’t exist.  When a cow goes MOO no other cow gives any notice.  So why do they do it? I think they are talking about me.... They ARE talking about me... they know that I know!

8      Cows poo everywhere, and then they eat the grass next to that same pile of muck. That's just vile. There's no need for it. NO NEED AT ALL!

9      Next time you pass a field that has cows in it, take a look at how they are stood. They all face the same direction. If one is standing, they are all standing. It's almost as if they are an army... just waiting for orders to attack. AAARRRGGHH..

9a)   As a side note - there is always one cow that stares at me.... not the same one ( I'm not MAD) but there it is... looking, looking.....always looking.

10    And as a final thought.  Apart from humans the most popular creature on this planet to be abducted by aliens is the cow.

        Personally, I think Cows are aliens from another dimension and are here plotting their eventual conquer of our planet.

        They create tons of methane with their farts, that is a cause of global warming. They were also the main cause of Mad Cow Disease as well.
        That was just one in a very long list of attempts to swipe control from us Humans.

        I wonder what will be their next MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooove.

hahahahahahahahahahhahahaha.