There’s something I’ve been meaning to get around to and the
start of this brand spanking new year seems like a good a place as any.
So bare with me if you will while I ask this seemingly
simple but puzzlingly (well for me anyway) question...
How in the hell do aeroplanes stay up in the air?
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| ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL LAND ON YOUR HEAD! |
I know there’s some sort of science involved, maybe physics
or some such thing, but whenever I see one of these gigantic metallic Smartie
tubes hanging in the air, I can’t help but stare in stupid awe at the fact that
these monsters of the sky isn’t falling at great speed toward the ground.
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| WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?! |
How can it be that something as huge as an aeroplane can
simply glide through the clouds adhering to some form of manmade philosophy about
which way is up but can also, at the same time, completely ignore natures
greatest gift known as common sense?
If I, or indeed you, were to throw a shoe into the air it
would go up for a little while and then fall back down to the ground.
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| WHY? |
Launch a phallic silver missile with wings into the air full
of people and clothes and pre-packaged meals and airline lottery scratch cards
(does anyone ever buy one of those things I wonder?) and over sized tubes of
Toblerone and woomph! The law of gravity takes a back seat and we all end up in
Tenerife.
I am not scared of flying. No sir!
Statistically, when flying 50% of the time i am travelling
to a warmer sunnier place called HOLIDAYS! That is a far greater percentage
than any other form of transportation I may use in my day to day life.
Flying is good. It just goes against everything I know to be
real.
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| SPELLCAST THIS YOU LITTLE BUGGERS!!! |
Its like the matrix or 1980’s kids show Knightmare but with a
less obvious drunken madman screaming at little kids.



