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Monday, 24 October 2011

Three Comics walk into a blog...

I’ve been away from the internet for a couple of days and its took me a while to catch on things.
Its all been kicking off- 

I cant leave you lot alone for one minute and it makes my blood boil.

This is my 100th post on here and i wanted to make it a brilliant one. Something to look back on with pride and joy and that could be shared across the globe and make me famous and rich and desirable.
But no. YOU lot had other ideas and had to all act like little kids, meaning I’ve got to roll up my sleeves and sort you out again.


It appears that Frankie Boyle has got a new book out.
Naughty Boy

Do you remember him?

He was that Scottish guy who shot to fame as the “no holes bared – he didn’t just say that did he” comedian from mock the week. Who mainly got laughs because he would spout the kind of humourless wit that other comedians thought was not suitable for a TV audience.

After a few series of this idiots guide to the news, Boyle left to perform his angry style of comedy to live audiences, who I imagine are the sort who couldn’t get tickets for Roy Chubby brown another comic who take delight in seeing people laugh at his puerile jokes.

Don’t get me wrong. I like a sick joke. If its told well and at the right time, a clever witty joke about certain news events can bring a wry smile and even a chuckle, but to make a career from spitting on the grave of a dead person or pointing out the differences of a disabled person just isn’t funny after about... oh say 1 minute.

Boyle and his like are one trick pony. They nothing else to say but “that guys a dick.” Or “she’s a slag isn’t she” and wait for the empty headed crowds to clap furiously like starving seals on parade.

But then we move on to the main event in which I witnessed the spiralling lines of Ricky Gervais ans and Richard Herring Fans over on Twitter. These two, who due to the kind of material they like to perform in their acts means they really should know better than to react - have been named amongst others in an argument over the use of the word mong.

Electronic broadbanded fingers have been pointed and accusations thrust onto the webpages of twitter and the like and I for one found it incredibly boring. I couldn't care less who is right and who is wrong. but the fact that I have spent 15 minutes of my very important life reviewing this gibberish is the reason I'M kicking off!
Stop Sulking Herring!

Beyond the rights of someone to use whatever word they use, be it mong or spaz or black or gay or any of the other 17 words that SOME people MAY find offensive or hurtful. Using any word as a slur CAN be effective if used in the right mode. When meant with venom or used to cause actual hurt, then the excuse of comedy goes straight of the window and we enter the world bullying and harassment.

Free speech is cried by one part and abuse by the other.

Somewhere off to the side is me. I shrug my shoulders and wait for it all to blow over.
But this silly little tit for tat, which has been fuelled by a number of “followers” makes twitter sound like a cult doesn’t it?

There really is no simple answer other than for all involved to act like adults. Adults who respect each other no to use childish puerile name calling and try to use bigger grown up words and for those others to by more adult and simply ignore those that would name call in the first place.

It all comes down to the fact there are fame hungry individuals out there who rather than try and evoke some kind of natural humour or show off a talent will resort to the lowest form of attention seeking and randomly attack until someone  shouts that they are wrong. But by then it’s too late. They are in the lime light and are receiving the and attention they crave.

On a final note. I enjoy the works of Richard Herring.

I have also been known to watch the works of Ricky Gervais.
Dissapointed, but i expect nothing less from you Gervais.

To my knowledge neither of them is aware of my work. Typical!

In conclusion, in typical British style this debate has fizzled out like a damp squib. If this were the Middle East or America or any other country with passion or a back bone there would debates in parliament and effigies burnt in every village and town across the land. Protest marches would spark up like wide fire and the whole bloody place would come to crawling stop until these two kissed and made up.

But it didn’t, it hasn’t and probably won’t. Because x-factor is still on and the apprentice is back next week.

Fickle. That’s what you lot are. Fickle.

Plus they’ll each get a 10 minute set or stand up defending themselves about it. So it was probably all a set up anyway.

So thanks a lot Ricky and Richard, for ruining my 100th Blog entry. I hope you are satisfied.



  1. I agree to a large degree (and made a rhyme in the process!). I think the main problem though is that people are misinterpreting something which has been said on the Internet. It's difficult to convey true meaning through this medium, and people are taking it at face value.

  2. I think my gripe with Herring and Gervais is that i have met them both and each time niether had the grace to invite me to be their bestest friends. i stopped herring from being beaten up in a comedy club in manchester the week the pope died, and gervias kept trying to weed his way into my holiday photos in new york. wouldnt have minded but he was dressed like a slob. thats my real problem with these two - boyle on the other just rubs me up the wrong way full stop. (damn. no rhyme)

  3. Congrats with your 100th post. I haven't even hit 50 yet.

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  5. Let's do a punchline in the style of these comedians.

    'Why did the the chicken cross the road?'

    Richard Herring: 'It didn't though, aaaahhhh, cheg on, you am a twart.'

    Richard Gervais: 'Oooohh, did it?' - Puts hands on hips. Grimmaces. - 'Hhmmmm...'

    Frankie Boyle; 'Tae avoid the tears coming coming oot the little kiddy's eyes 'cause a paedophile was shooting a load of spunk up his wee erse.'

    PS: Out of this selection it's actually Gervais that tends to make me turn over ha ha.


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