The other night I was randomly clicking through the BBC websites when I came across this little piece about a cleaner who saw a load of cardboard boxes and junk on the floor and thought "Bloody builders, can't be bothered to clean up after themselves." and so she dutifully did her job, cleaned it all up and threw it away.
Turns out that the pile of mess was in fact some kind of "art installation".
I'm not happy.
I thought we had got away from all this clap trap nonsense of modern art.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Anyone can make modern art. Just wait until the binmen are on strike and pile up your old newspapers, tin cans and those socks with holes in you keep threatening to throw away and NOT put in the wash basket (we all do it) and then invite the local art critic to come around and appraise it.
Make sure you write a card with something pompous on it like "The invalidity of the human form from the perspective of hidden lust" or "Entropy within A half empty glass." or anything that makes no sense and Bob's your uncle. Next stop - an interview with Melvyn Bragg.
Art, PROPER art, is something that should look like the thing it is supposed to be. A painting of a horse, a statue of a lady with no vest on or even a bucket of bananas. It doesn't have to be photo-realistic but it should be recognisable from a distance or at least at a certain angle.
Don't get me wrong, there is art and then there is art. Just look at some of the wonderful stuff made by fellow blogger ROB Z TOBOR - it's brilliant.
It's art.
I know it is, you know it is.
We also know that my recycling bin is full of junk and not art. That is the difference. Rob makes things and there is skill and talent at work.
My bin is just a bin. It is NOT art.
But Tracy Emin and her crew would have you believe that it is an insight into the retrospective viewpoint of what ever random word they pick out of the dictionary.
I understand some people enjoy art and they are welcome to take what they can from it, but those that create piles of litter should be ashamed of themselves and possibly arrested for fraud and/or fly tipping.
The article above quotes the "artwork" as being insured for $10,000.
For that amount of money you buy... well - tons of stuff. Remote control helicopters, a car, a nice holiday. the list is almost endless.
It's such a con I thought I'd have a go myself.
Using a little known program called Microsoft Paint, I sicked up this rubbish in 20 seconds.
I call it "Regrets of Question Time."
You can have it for £235.00 cheap at twice the price. I'll even sign it for an extra tenner.
Granted it's no Neil Buchanan masterpiece, but I tried and that's more than these arty farty cheaters have ever done.