2 Years Of Marriage And It Has Come To This

Today (the 10th) sees myself and Mrs H celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary.

For two whole years I have been legally obliged to to be under the thumb, told off for snoring (even I don't snore), give up my half of the bed and worst of all..... share things!


Mrs H, for her part, spends money like it's going out of fashion, farts like a trooper (even though she says it's not her) and enjoys 4/5ths of the bed and snores (she definitely does).

As our anniversary approached, I asked Mrs H what she want to do to celebrate our union together.

"I want to go away somewhere."

"Oh like into town, or Frankie and Bennys or something?"

"No, you bloody cheapskate. I want to do something different... something we can both enjoy."

"Netflix and pizza?"

"You're an idiot."

"I know... I have blog about it and everything."

"Are you still writing that? Nobody reads it, why do you bother?"

"..."

"You're an idiot"

"..."

"um... yea... So where would like to go, sweet Thistle of mine?"

*thinks*

*shows evil grin*

"Got it! We're going here!"

"Oh bum"

So there you have it. Booked for next weekend, Myself, Mrs H and a few mates are all going to be run at, chased, harassed, abused and generally scared shitless by real life zombies!

I'm not sure what part of this I'm supposed to enjoy, but I think the thought of seeing me curled into the foetus position, blubbing like a wretch is probably right up her street.

Mrs H is very excited..... and is also some kind of sadist.

Today we went to Frankie and Bennys.

A Lost eye, Full Trousers and A Lost Child: My Wedding Day.

Well, What a week it's been.

Having got married to Mrs H last Thursday we buggered off and had little trip to York (which is oop north and to the right a bit)

We had a lot of fun and drinks and some proper nice food and walked and wlaked and walked and walked until our feet nearly fell off.

I even had to buy a new pair of shoes because mine were worn out!

Anyway, the wedding was lovely, as I say, however - being our weeding it didn't go without certain events taking place.

The following are very true very real events that actually happened during our "big day"

I had a wee here (inside)

My brand new mother in law very nearly lost a eye!

• A small child soiled himself twice!

• A medium sized child fell down a well.

• Someone fell out with somebody else.

• Everybody things my uncle is Eric Pollard from Emmerdale (he isn't)

• It was discovered that a 14 year old was more sexually active than 99% of the rest of the group.

• Mrs H has a very filthy mouth when she is drunk.

Other than that it was a great day and most other people enjoyed it.

Here is a child falling down a well. Enjoy.

Another Award

It's only Wednesday and it has already been a very trying week.

Monday was okay, campers coming and going after a very busy weekend but I managed to find the time to do a little house keeping on my laptop.

I found a number of half written posts going all the way back to before this time last year.

Who knows what would have happened if I had told you all "that time a thing happened" or "when something I thought was something else, actually turned out to a be different something else." but those times have passed and a re behind us now.

Tuesday saw Scottish power come all the way down to Shropshire to turn the electricity off. I don't why a load of Scotch electricians had to travel half way down the country to mess aorund with the supply, but they did. 

The campers were annoyed that they missed their daily dose of The Wright Stuff on channel 5 and Loose Women, but we had stocked up on Daily Mails so they were contented to read all about how people from another country are to blame for cancer and how what was reported as a cure for cancer last week is now actually a major cause of cancer and how Diana would be spinning in her grave if she could see the world today etc so on and so forth.

I also received this beautiful award from Rob Z Tobor which I got from his blog HERE. 

if you have not read his diary, you really should. to get the best out of it you should really start at the beginning but if you can't be bothered i will try and sum up the story so far......

there is a school goat, a russian spy, a man who wanders around in the woods looking for aliens while zombie snowmen try not to fall into the ever increasing number of holes that Rob has dug in his garden.

There are also some pretty cool pieces of art work as well.

To paraphrase the man himself - "It's well cool."

Wednesday came next and all was going swimmingly. That was until I cut my finger and then a camper who has been here for four days so far asked if they could move pitch ... again.

That's right AGAIN. This is the third time they have moved their TENT (yes tent!!) in the four days they have been here.

They are now going to move to the pitch I suggested to them when they first arrived, but didn't like the look of it.

There's no helping some folk.

I have also decided to spend some money.

I haven't told MRS H yet. But it IS my money and I have been saving up for ages and haven't treated myself since February so it's high time I did.

Wedding plans continue although Mrs H is getting fed up with all the planning and I'm fed up of having to pay for things.

It's still a few months off yet, but once it's all paid for and done we can get back to normality.

Right that's enough from me.

My heart felt thanks go to Rob for his award.

I'm off to buy a gadget that probably won't work anyway.

Laters Taters!

A Secret Is Finally Revealed (part 2)

Previously on Thoughtless Gibberish...

"Can I marry your daughter?"

"no!"

..An now the conclusion to ASIFR.

Last time we learned that somehow me and Mrs H had fallen into the trap of agreeing to marry each other and I wanted to get the permission of her dad, Richard/Dick (real name Brain) and he had said the following…

“NO!”

Now we shall learn the outcome of that shocking revelation and what happened next!

Me: “NO?”

Brian: “Do I have to pay for the bloody thing?”

ME: “Nonono, we’re sorting all that out…”

Brian: “Do I have to wear a suit?”

Mrs H: “Yes dad, you HAVE TO WEAR a suit. You cannot come to me wedding in you traksuit pants and walking boots.”

Joan (mother of Mrs H): “Do I have to wear a frock?”

Mrs H: “Yes mother – you have to wear a frock?”

Joan: “Do I have to wear a hat?”

Mrs H: Christ almighty!! NO, if you don’t want to wear a hat, you don’t HAVE to wear a hat!”

Joan: “Hmm… I do have those Mickey Mouse ears somewhere. I could wear those…”

Mrs H: “Oh god! That’s it! NONE OF YOU ARE COMING TO MY WEDDING!”

At this point I notice Gary, Mrs H’s brother smiling. “Well I’m really pleased for you both. I can’t wait”

ME: “Thanks Gary.”

So it appears that one out of three of Mrs H’s family are happy for us to get wed.

Conversely and for the interest of fairness I should point out that the reaction from my family was along the lines “Bloody hell, it’s taken you long enough”

Families are great.

In conclusion Me and the soon to be Mrs Mrs H will be legally tied together later on this year.

It is at this point I would like to point out if anyone is looking for work you might want to seek out something in the lines of a registrar. They get paid a bloody fortune (well It’s cost me a bomb so far) and seem to work very little hours in an office at the back of the library drinking tea all day. 

*Sorry for the delay and keep you all in suspense but I have been very busy trying to break my back digging up all this snow and ice. Easter is only a few days away and The campsite is nowhere near ready. We have had to cancel a lot of arrivals and if this weather keeps up there will be no money coming in and We will be having Dog for tea!