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Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts

Monday, 13 June 2016

Panini Sticker Album And The Art Of Zen

Every man needs a hobby.

A hobby needs to cover a number of aspects.

These include:

An activity that holds no purpose other than being completed.

Requirements of skill and patience.

Allow the hobbiest to concentrate and enter their own little world away from the madness that surrounds them.

It must also infuriate the hobbiests partner.

My recent hobby of choice is completing a Panini sticker album of the Euro 2016 football competition.

Each night I sit on my chair with my album on my lap and will quite happily spend an hour or so carefully opening packets of stickers before putting them in numerical order.

Then, using my specially filed nails, peel off the backs and gently place the stickers against the corresponding empty space.

The act of separating the sticker from it back is as close to Zen as any person can achieve without years of Buddhist meditation.

The same can be said of attaching the sticker into it designated slot with perfection.

Anybody who has ever pressed a sticker into place and found no bubbles, creases or overlap will always, internally, congratulate themselves on a job well done.

It's a skill that can not be taught.

Once an album is well under way the magic continues.

Normally having more than one of a thing when you don't require it can become a burden. 

Not so with stickers.

Part of the fun is having SWAPSIES.

Getting together with friends to exchange unwanted stickers can be a joyous experience with the sounds of "Got...Got...Got...NEED!" mumbled across the world from school kids to fully grown adults.

It's a pass time that transcends generations.

Then comes the day.... after weeks of hard work and effort. Beyond spending far too much money for no financial return.... comes the day your album is complete.

An Achievement of this kind is hard fought and every man, woman and child that manages to fill their whole sticker album enters into a secret league of champions that very few will ever know.



This bewilders Mrs H as well as Mrs Ste (who I am informed things this is all a waste of money).

Every now and then I look up and see the wife frowning at me.

She never says anything but I know she disapproves.... and this makes me want to do it more.

I am doing rather well with my album (better that my mate Ste anyway) and have realised something about footballers I would like to share with you today.

It is a disturbing fact that just how many footballers look like serial killers, murderers and the type of face you expect to see on an episode of crime watch.

Seriously. Look at these choice mugs and their potential crimes.

...




..
Urinating in public bins
Stealing lead off church roofs and trying to eat it


Punching a penguin
theft of post office pens


refusing to blink
chasing pigeons


Being out of focus
Damaging the cameras on Springwatch with a filthy cloth


sawing a woman in half and not even
pretending to be a magician
impersonating a young Jeff Goldblum


Accepting work as an evil overlords henchmen




So if you do ever meet a footballer on the street - hide behind your Panini sticker album and call a policeman.



Sunday, 9 August 2015

A Terrible Time Of it......

I'm having a terrible time of it at the moment.

First up, my ingrowing toenail is back.

That's not good.

My foot hurts, but there is very little I can do because the nail is still too small to get a good hook into and yank out.

More exciting news to follow on that story.....

Next up, the month of August saw a rather stupid statement from your's truly when my friend Ste (remember Ste? he's the one who fell asleep with a candle on his head and cheated at the £10 challenge) offered to have another £10 bet with me.

The challenge this tie round involves betting £10 on any sporting event between the 1st of August until the 31st of December with the option to spend any and all winnings to see who can make the most money by the end of the year.

As of writing this post, Ste has not made any bets.... I, however, have been a very busy bee opting to spread my chances of making a profit by betting on horses, the cricket and the football....

I have pretty much lost all of my money.

As of today I have 40 pence left.

For anyone who is not familiar with English money, 40 pence can get you a funny look, thrown out or barred from any pub,bar, charity shop in the UK.

I am terrible at betting.

40 pence is pathetic.

There is a small chance I can come out this a hero.

I have some bets still to come today including the horses and kicking ball.... My hopes are not high though.


As the saying goes; If it wasn't for bad luck - I would have no luck at all.

Let this be a lesson to you all.... if you want to know how to make money from gambling, just do the opposite of me and you'll be a millionaire by Christmas.


More news on this (and my impending insolvency claim) to follow.

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Belated Football results 2014/15 season

Due to the recent FIFA investigation I have not been able to share my results of last years football betting.

Sepp Blatter and his cronies have been to busy playing pass the parcel with brown envelopes (never got round to me) and with the FBI asking to see ALL documents relating to football I have had to wait for the return of my files.

They finally came back this week and after a sweep for electronic bugs and listening devices I am now able to share with you all my bribe free 100% genuine season long betting results for the 2014/15 Premiership season.

For those who don't know, here is a bit of background:

Every year I set myself the challenge of trying to make a profit based on a set of the following rules:

20 pence per bet.

A bet on every game played by Manchester Utd, Manchester City, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool

In the event one team plays the other the bet placed in for the home team to win.

The list below shows the results as they happened.



In total £34 was spent with a possible £56.66 up for grabs.

Scroll to the bottom to see how much I won/lost....
dategamestakeoddspotential winresultactual winpotential totalactual totaltotal spenttotal profit
16/08/2014arsenal v crystal palace£0.202/7£0.262-1£0.260.260.260.200.06
18/08/2014burnley v chelsea£0.202/5£0.281-3£0.280.540.540.400.14
17/08/2014newcastle v man city£0.208/13£0.320-2£0.320.860.860.600.26
16/08/2014man utd v swansea£0.204/11£0.271-2£0.001.130.860.800.06
17/08/2014liverpool v southampton£0.204/11£0.272-1£0.271.401.131.000.13
23/08/2014Chelsea v Leicester£0.201/5£0.242-0£0.241.641.371.200.17
23/08/2014Everton v Arsenal£0.2013/8£0.532-2£0.002.171.371.40-0.03
24/08/2014Sunderland v Man utd£0.203/4£0.351-1£0.002.521.371.60-0.23
25/08/2014MAN CITY v liverpool£0.2019/20£0.393-1£0.392.911.761.80-0.04
30/08/2014burnley v Man utd£0.208/15£0.310-0£0.003.221.762.00-0.24
30/08/2014Man city v Stoke£0.201/5£0.240-1£0.003.461.762.20-0.44
30/08/2014Everton v Chelsea£0.2011/10£0.423-6£0.423.882.182.40-0.22
31/08/2014tottenham v Liverpool£0.2017/10£0.540-3£0.544.422.722.600.12
31/08/2014Leicester v Arsenal£0.204/5£0.361-1£0.004.782.722.80-0.08
13/09/2014ARSENAL v man city£0.206/4£0.502-2£0.005.282.723.00-0.28
13/09/2014Chelsea v Swansea£0.201/4£0.254-2£0.255.532.973.20-0.23
13/09/2014Liverpool v Aston Villa£0.201/4£0.250-1£0.005.782.973.40-0.43
14/09/2014Man Utd v QPR£0.201/4£0.254-0£0.256.033.223.60-0.38
20/09/2014Aston Villa v Arsenal£0.203/4£0.350-3£0.356.383.573.80-0.23
20/09/2014West Ham v Liverpool£0.204/6£0.333-1£0.006.713.574.00-0.43
21/09/2014Leicester v Man Utd£0.204/6£0.335-3£0.007.043.574.20-0.63
21/09/2014Man City v Chelsea£0.206/4£0.501-1£0.007.543.574.40-0.83
27/09/2014Liverpool v Everton£0.204/5£0.361-1£0.007.903.574.60-1.03
27/09/2014Chelsea v Aston villa£0.202/9£0.243-0£0.248.143.814.80-0.99
27/09/2014Hull v Man City£0.204/7£0.312-4£0.318.454.125.00-0.88
27/09/2014Man Utd v West Ham£0.201/4£0.252-1£0.258.704.375.20-0.83
27/09/2014Arsenal v Spurs£0.205/6£0.371-1£0.009.074.375.40-1.03
04/10/2014Liverpool v West Brom£0.201/3£0.272-1£0.279.344.645.60-0.96
04/10/2014Aston Villa v Man City£0.208/15£0.310-2£0.319.654.955.80-0.85
05/10/2014Man Utd v Everton£0.205/6£0.372-1£0.3710.025.326.00-0.68
05/10/2014Chelsea v Arsenal£0.204/6£0.332-0£0.3310.355.656.20-0.55
18/10/2014Man city v Spurs£0.208/15£0.314-1£0.3110.665.966.40-0.44
18/10/2014Arsenal v Hull£0.203/10£0.262-2£0.0010.925.966.60-0.64
18/10/2014Crystal Palace v Chelsea£0.204/11£0.271-2£0.2711.196.236.80-0.57
19/10/2014QPR v Liverpool£0.208/13£0.322-3£0.3211.516.557.00-0.45
20/10/2014West Brom v Man Utd£0.208/11£0.352-2£0.0011.866.557.20-0.65
25/10/2014west ham v man city£0.208/15£0.312-1£0.0012.176.557.40-0.85
25/10/2014liverpool v hull£0.203/10£0.260-0£0.0012.436.557.60-1.05
25/10/2014sunderland v arsenal£0.208/13£0.320-2£0.3212.756.877.80-0.93
26/10/2014man utd v chelsea£0.207/4£0.551-1£0.0013.306.878.00-1.13
01/11/2014newcastle v liverpool£0.209/10£0.381-0£0.0013.686.878.20-1.33
01/11/2014arsenal v Burnley£0.201/4£0.253-0£0.2513.937.128.40-1.28
01/11/2014chelsea v QPR£0.201/6£0.232-1£0.2314.167.358.60-1.25
02/11/2014Man city v man Utd£0.203/4£0.351-0£0.3514.517.708.80-1.10
08/11/2014Liverpool v Chelsea£0.202/1£0.601-2£0.0015.117.709.00-1.30
08/11/2014Man utd v Crystal Palace£0.201/4£0.251-0£0.2515.367.959.20-1.25
08/11/2014QPR v Man City£0.204/11£0.272-2£0.0015.637.959.40-1.45
09/11/2014Swansea v Arsenal£0.2011/10£0.422-1£0.0016.057.959.60-1.65
22/11/2014Chelsea v West Brom£0.202/9£0.242-0£0.2416.298.199.80-1.61
22/11/2014Man city v Swansea£0.201/3£0.272-1£0.2716.568.4610.00-1.54
22/11/2014Arsenal v Man Utd£0.2013/10£0.461-2£0.0017.028.4610.20-1.74
23/11/2014Crsystal Palace v Liverpool£0.208/11£0.353-1£0.0017.378.4610.40-1.94
29/11/2014west brom v Arsenal£0.205/6£0.370-1£0.3717.748.8310.60-1.77
29/11/2014Liverpool v Stoke£0.201/2£0.301-0£0.3018.049.1310.80-1.67
29/11/2014Man utd v Hull£0.203/10£0.263-0£0.2618.309.3911.00-1.61
29/11/2014Sunderland v Chelsea£0.201/2£0.300-0£0.0018.609.3911.20-1.81
30/11/2014Southampton v Man City£0.2011/10£0.420-3£0.4219.029.8111.40-1.59
02/12/2014Leicester v Liverpool£0.2019/20£0.393-1£0.3919.4110.2011.60-1.40
02/12/2014Man utd v Stoke£0.202/5£0.282-1£0.2819.6910.4811.80-1.32
03/12/2014Arsenal v Stoke£0.204/5£0.361-0£0.3620.0510.8412.00-1.16
03/12/2014Chelsea v Spurs£0.201/3£0.273-0£0.2720.3211.1112.20-1.09
03/12/2014Sunderland v Man city£0.201/2£0.301-4£0.3020.6211.4112.40-0.99
06/12/2014Newcastle v Chelsea£0.208/15£0.312-1£0.0020.9311.4112.60-1.19
06/12/2014Liverpool v Sunderland£0.204/7£0.310-0£0.0021.2411.4112.80-1.39
06/12/2014Stoke v Arsenal£0.20evens£0.403-2£0.0021.6411.4113.00-1.59
06/12/2014Man City v Everton£0.204/7£0.311-0£0.3121.9511.7213.20-1.48
08/12/2014Southampton v Man Utd£0.2013/8£0.531-2£0.5322.4812.2513.40-1.15
13/12/2014chelsea v hull£0.201/6£0.232-0£0.2322.7112.4813.60-1.12
13/12/2014leicester v man city£0.202/5£0.280-1£0.2822.9912.7613.80-1.04
13/12/2014arsenal v newcastle£0.201/2£0.304-1£0.3023.2913.0614.00-0.94
14/12/2014man utd v liverpool£0.2010/11£0.383-0£0.3823.6713.4414.20-0.76
20/12/2014man city v crystal palace£0.202/9£0.243-0£0.2423.9113.6814.40-0.72
20/12/2014aston villa v man utd£0.204/7£0.311-1£0.0024.2213.6814.60-0.92
21/12/2014liverpool v arsenal£0.208/5£0.522-2£0.0024.7413.6814.80-1.12
22/12/2014stoke v chelsea£0.208/13£0.320-2£0.3225.0614.0015.00-1.00
26/12/2014chelsea v west ham£0.201/3£0.272-0£0.2725.3314.2715.20-0.93
26/12/2014burnley v liverpool£0.2010/11£0.380-1£0.3825.7114.6515.40-0.75
26/12/2014man utd v newscatle£0.204/9£0.293-1£0.2926.0014.9415.60-0.66
26/12/2014west brom v man city£0.201/2£0.301-3£0.3026.3015.2415.80-0.56
26/12/2014arsenal v QPR£0.202/7£0.262-1£0.2626.5615.5016.00-0.50
28/12/2014spurs v man utd£0.206/5£0.440-0£0.0027.0015.5016.20-0.70
28/12/2014southampton v chelsea£0.204/5£0.361-1£0.0027.3615.5016.40-0.90
28/12/2014man city v burnley£0.201/5£0.242-2£0.0027.6015.5016.60-1.10
28/12/2014west ham v arsenal£0.2011/10£0.421-2£0.4228.0215.9216.80-0.88
29/12/2014liverpool v swansea£0.204/6£0.334-1£0.3328.3516.2517.00-0.75
01/01/2014Stoke v Man utd£0.204/5£0.361-1£0.0028.7116.2517.20-0.95
01/01/2014Liverpool v Leicester£0.204/11£0.272-2£0.0028.9816.2517.40-1.15
01/01/2014Man City v Sunderland£0.201/5£0.243-2£0.2429.2216.4917.60-1.11
01/01/2014Southampton v Arsenal£0.207/5£0.480-2£0.0029.7016.4917.80-1.31
01/01/2014Spurs v Chelsea£0.2010/11£0.385-3£0.0030.0816.4918.00-1.51
10/01/2015sunderland v liverpool£0.2017/20£0.370-1£0.3730.4516.8618.20-1.34
10/01/2015chelsea v Newcastle£0.201/4£0.252-0£0.2530.7017.1118.40-1.29
10/01/2015everton v man city£0.205/6£0.371-1£0.0031.0717.1118.60-1.49
11/01/2015arsenal v stoke£0.204/9£0.293-0£0.2931.3617.4018.80-1.40
11/01/2015man utd v southampton£0.2013/20£0.330-1£0.0031.6917.4019.00-1.60
17/01/2015Aston Villa v Liverpool£0.205/6£0.370-2£0.3732.0617.7719.20-1.43
17/01/2015QPR v Man Utd£0.208/13£0.320-2£0.3232.3818.0919.40-1.31
17/01/2015Swansea v Chelsea£0.204/7£0.310-5£0.3132.6918.4019.60-1.20
18/01/2015Man city v Arsenal£0.204/5£0.360-2£0.0033.0518.4019.80-1.40
31/01/2015liverpool v west ham£0.208/11£0.352-0£0.3533.4018.7520.00-1.25
31/01/2015man utd v leicester£0.201/3£0.273-1£0.2733.6719.0220.20-1.18
31/01/2015chelsea v man city£0.2011/10£0.421-1£0.0034.0919.0220.40-1.38
01/02/2015arsenal v aston villa£0.201/4£0.255-0£0.2534.3419.2720.60-1.33
07/02/2015Spurs v Arsenal£0.2011/10£0.422-1£0.0034.7619.2720.80-1.53
07/02/2015Aston Villa v Chelsea£0.202/7£0.261-2£0.2635.0219.5321.00-1.47
07/02/2015Man city v hull£0.202/11£0.241-1£0.0035.2619.5321.20-1.67
07/02/2015Everton v Liverpool£0.205/4£0.450-0£0.0035.7119.5321.40-1.87
08/02/2015West ham v Man Utd£0.2021/20£0.411-1£0.0036.1219.5321.60-2.07
10/02/2015Arsenal v Leicester£0.202/7£0.262-1£0.2636.3819.7921.80-2.01
10/02/2015Liverpool v Spurs£0.209/10£0.383-2£0.3836.7620.1722.00-1.83
11/02/2015Stoke v Man City£0.204/6£0.331-4£0.3337.0920.5022.20-1.70
11/02/2015Chelsea v Everton£0.201/3£0.271-0£0.2737.3620.7722.40-1.63
11/02/2015Man Utd v Burnley£0.202/7£0.263-1£0.2637.6221.0322.60-1.57
21/02/2015Chelsea v Burnley£0.201/5£0.241-1£0.0037.8621.0322.80-1.77
21/02/2015Crystal Palace v Arsenal£0.203/4£0.351-2£0.3538.2121.3823.00-1.62
21/02/2015Swansea v Man Utd£0.2010/11£0.382-1£0.0038.5921.3823.20-1.82
21/02/2015Man City v Newcastle£0.202/7£0.265-0£0.2638.8521.6423.40-1.76
22/02/2015Southampton v Liverpool£0.2013/8£0.530-2£0.5339.3822.1723.60-1.43
28/02/2015Man Utd v Sunderland£0.201/3£0.272-0£0.2739.6522.4423.80-1.36
01/03/2015Liverpool v Man City£0.207/4£0.552-1£0.5540.2022.9924.00-1.01
01/03/2015Arsenal v Everton£0.204/7£0.312-0£0.3140.5123.3024.20-0.90
04/03/2015Newcastle v Man Utd£0.2019/20£0.390-1£0.3940.9023.6924.40-0.71
04/03/2015Man City v Leicester£0.201/4£0.252-0£0.2541.1523.9424.60-0.66
04/03/2015QPR v Arsenal£0.208/15£0.311-2£0.3141.4624.2524.80-0.55
04/03/2015West Ham v Chelsea£0.204/7£0.310-1£0.3141.7724.5625.00-0.44
04/03/2015Liverpool v Burnley£0.204/11£0.272-0£0.2742.0424.8325.20-0.37
14/3/2015Arsenal v West ham£0.202/5£0.283-0£0.2842.3225.1125.40-0.29
14/3/2015Burnley v Man city£0.209/20£0.291-0£0.0042.6125.1125.60-0.49
15/3/2015Chelsea v Southampton£0.204/7£0.311-1£0.0042.9225.1125.80-0.69
15/03/2015Man Utd v Spurs£0.2010/11£0.383-0£0.3843.3025.4926.00-0.51
16/03/2015Swansea v Liverpool£0.20evens£0.400-1£0.4043.7025.8926.20-0.31
21/03/2015Man city v West brom£0.202/7£0.263-0£0.2643.9626.1526.40-0.25
21/03/2015Newcastle v Arsenal£0.204/5£0.361-2£0.3644.3226.5126.60-0.09
22/03/2015Liverpool v Man Utd£0.205/4£0.451-2£0.0044.7726.5126.80-0.29
22/03/2015Hull v Chelsea£0.204/9£0.292-3£0.2945.0626.8027.00-0.20
04/04/2015Arsenal v Liverpool£0.20evens£0.404-1£0.4045.4627.2027.200.00
04/04/2015Man Utd v Aston Villa£0.201/3£0.273-1£0.2745.7327.4727.400.07
04/04/2015Chelsea v Stoke£0.202/7£0.262-1£0.2645.9927.7327.600.13
06/04/2015Crystal Palace v Man City£0.203/5£0.322-1£0.0046.3127.7327.80-0.07
11/04/2015Burnley v Arsenal£0.208/15£0.310-1£0.3146.6228.0428.000.04
12/04/2015QPR v Chelsea£0.201/3£0.270-1£0.2746.8928.3128.200.11
12/04/2015Man Utd v Man City£0.206/4£0.504-2£0.5047.3928.8128.400.41
13/04/2015Liverpool v Newcastle£0.202/5£0.282-0£0.2847.6729.0928.600.49
18/04/2015Chelsea v Man utd£0.204/5£0.361-0£0.3648.0329.4528.800.65
19/04/2015Man City v West Ham£0.202/7£0.262-0£0.2648.2929.7129.000.71
25/04/2015West Brom v Liverpool£0.2010/11£0.380-0£0.0048.6729.7129.200.51
25/04/2015Man City v Aston Villa£0.201/4£0.253-2£0.2548.9229.9629.400.56
26/04/2015Everton v Man Utd£0.205/4£0.450-3£0.0049.3729.9629.600.36
26/04/2015Arsenal v Chelsea£0.206/4£0.500-0£0.0049.8729.9629.800.16
28/04/2015Hull v Liverpool£0.204/5£0.361-0£0.0050.2329.9630.00-0.04
29/04/2015Leicester v Chelsea£0.204/6£0.331-3£0.3350.5630.2930.200.09
02/05/2015Liverpool v QPR£0.201/3£0.272-1£0.2750.8330.5630.400.16
02/05/2015Man Utd v West Brom£0.201/3£0.270-1£0.0051.1030.5630.60-0.04
03/05/2015Chelsea v Crystal Palace£0.201/3£0.271-0£0.2751.3730.8330.800.03
03/05/2015Spurs v Man City£0.2010/11£0.380-1£0.3851.7531.2131.000.21
04/05/2015Hull v Arsenal£0.208/13£0.321-3£0.3252.0731.5331.200.33
09/05/2015Crystal Palace v Man Utd£0.208/11£0.351-20.3552.3131.8831.400.48
10/05/2015Man city v QPR£0.201/5£0.246-00.2452.6632.1231.600.52
10/05/2015Chelsea v Liverpool£0.204/5£0.361-10.0053.0232.1231.800.32
11/05/2015Arsenal v Swansea£0.201/3£0.270-10.0053.2932.1232.000.12
16/05/2015Liverpool v Crystal Palace£0.203/10£0.261-30.0053.5532.1232.20-0.08
17/05/2015Swansea v Man City£0.204/6£0.332-40.3354.0332.4532.400.05
17/05/2015Man Utd v Arsenal£0.207/5£0.481-10.0054.3632.4532.60-0.15
18/05/2015West Brom v Chelsea£0.2017/20£0.373-00.0054.7332.4532.80-0.35
20/05/2015Arsenal v Sunderland£0.203/10£0.260-00.0054.9932.4533.00-0.55
24/05/2015Arsenal v West brom£0.202/7£0.264-10.2655.2532.7133.20-0.49
24/05/2015Chelsea v Sunderland£0.202/5£0.283-10.2855.6532.9933.40-0.41
24/05/2015Hull v Man Utd£0.20evens£0.400-00.0055.9332.9933.60-0.61
24/05/2015Man City v Southampton£0.208/15£0.312-00.3156.2433.3033.80-0.50
24/05/2015Stoke v Liverpool£0.2011/10£0.426-10.0056.6633.3034.00-0.70
Damn.

It was touch and go for a good while and I thought I was going to turn a profit toward the end, but it was not meant to be.

I lost a total of 70 pence.

Most of you will scoff at the loss of 70p and you would be right. 70 pence is not a lot of money to loose over the course of 9 months, but it is a loss.

As the new football season draws closer I will be reviewing my methods and honing in a better way of making a profit.

Wish me luck!