Solving The Worlds Problems: #2 Chicken and Egg

Here we go.

Part two in an ongoing series where by, together, we solve the worlds most radical problems.

Before we do though, it is important to note that since the first episode it has come to light that certain scientific minds have been stealing my ideas and passing them off as their own. 

The latest theft involved a post I made three years ago when I decided to share my ideas about how to travel faster than the speed on light.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified... Then I realised I wasn't Gloria Gaynor and so I made a half hearted threat that got me nowhere.

But I shall not be deterred from helping others less intelligent than myself and dragging the lot of you out from the darkness of ignorance and allow you wash yourselves in the light of ...um... enlightenment.

So without further a-do, let's get cracking.... (hahahahaha - cracking... eggs- cracking? no? sod y'then)

The question we all need an answer to is one that has stumped the great thinkers of our age and every other age before us.

Which came first: The Chicken or the Egg?

The answer requires us to confirm a few constants.

A: Evolution is a thing. regardless of any religious beliefs, things turn into other things over time.
This is a solid gold fact and should not be ignored.

B: For the sake of typing it over and over again, when eggs are mentioned we are talking specifically about chicken eggs).

C: Left overs from KFC and my dog do not make for pleasant smells. (this not directly required knowledge but KFC do chickens so there's that..)

D: We are going to be talking percentages...... a fair bit.

Now to business.

Millions of years ago there were no chickens (or eggs) and today are more than 500 chickens around the world.

How did that happen?

Sex. That's what.

Chickens had sex with other chickens. The result of this copulation was an egg.

The egg hatched and out popped another chicken.

A bit like those Russian Dolls.

But if we allow our imaginations to travel back all those millennia ago we would find the chicken ancestors bonking around without a care in the world.

Todays chicken is 100% chicken. It's DNA is 100% of we know it to be. 

In the dark and distant past, when chickens were less evolved as they are now their percentage rate would have been less....

The ancient chickens (if we go back far enough) would have been 1% chicken and 99% (probably) dinosaur or something.

When a chicken makes an egg (fertilised, not just one of those unfertilised ones which are just the equivalent of chicken periods) it is a 50-50 split of the genetic material of the daddy egg and the mummy egg.

The chicken that was born of the 1% chicken was encased in an egg made from the DNA of the mummy chicken. The 2% chicken that lay inside was warm and safe surrounded by the shell of it's mother.

the 2% chicken met another 2% chicken (or similar) and after a few drinks they did the dirty deed and what came next from the egg the 2% Mummy Chicken was a 3% chicken. 

This is due to the combination of the mummy chicken and the daddy chicken.

Another way to look at this is look at your own parents. You are part your mum and part your dad. Therefore you are a combination of their DNA.

Back to the chickens.

We have confirmed that chickens used to share 1% of their DNA with their modern counterparts and today are known as 100% chicken!

We have reached, on the evolutionary scale the 3 percenters. 

Let us skip to the end (because even I'm bored already!!0 and get to the conclusion.

Chickens lay eggs. What comes out of those eggs is the next step of evolution.

Therefore the answer to the question, which came first the chicken or the egg, is....... Chicken.



Q&A.

Why didn't the egg come first? Chicken come from eggs. So there had to be eggs first, surely?

No your wrong. Go back and read it all again.


You're an idiot.

That's not a question... What am I supposed to do with that info?!?!?

Eggs are Chicken periods?

Yup.

Why doesn't this post make any real sense?

It's probably because my nephews are visiting whilst I write this and are trying to show me a video about pooing. 


So, are you saying that as chickens evolved, their eggs were always one step behind because they are made only by the female chicken and not the male, thus resulting in the internal DNA mixture of the new born being one step closer to the modern day chicken. Is it? IS IT???

Yea.... kind of.

Have you got a link for that video?

Yes (your freak) here it is.... Teaching Kids to poop!


next week: Theory of relativity. 

Solving The Worlds Problems: #1 The Sound of Trees

There's a lot going on in the world right now.

Most of it bad stuff.

From wars in the middle east, climate change,1980's sex pests and those bizarre one sided trunks that idiots insist on wearing.

It's time then, for somebody to stand up and take charge of the situation and put the worlds problems on a table and sort it all out once and for all.

That somebody is me!

We will start with the age old query of "IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NOBODY IS AROUND TO HEAR IT, DOES IT MAKE A NOISE?"

A quick search around the internet will offer you loads of answers raging from YES to NO.

But that's not good enough. What we need is some SCIENCE!

Here we go...

Sound is described by Wikipedia thus: 

"In physics, sound is a vibration that propagates as a typically audible mechanical wave of pressure and displacement, through a medium such asair, and water. In physiology and psychology, sound is the reception of such waves and their perception by the brain."



When the tree falls and connects with the ground, the forces involved cause all the particles and molecules in the area to move. It's all about kinetic energy.

Imagine, if you will, a very sweaty tramp getting on a bus. As he sits down everybody near him will shuffle out of the way so they don't have to smell his grubby armpits..... it's a bit like that, but smaller.

These vibrating, or moving, particles of existence travel along in all directions. With each interaction they lose a little momentum and eventually the travelling vibration dissipates to nothingness.

But where does SOUND come into all this?

The answer is YOUR EARS!

Only when the vibrating molecules reach the little hairs (or rather long spidery hairs in my case) in your ear hole does sound begin to exist.

The ear hairs send a signal to your brain which makes you think "Oh I think a tree has fallen over!"

Then and only then does sound exist.

IN SPACE NOBODY CAN HERE YOU SCREAM so said the tag line for the film Alien. That is because space is mainly a vacuum and there are no molecules or even trees to vibrate, crash together and make a noise.

So, to answer the question, IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NOBODY IS AROUND TO HEAR IT, DOES IT MAKE A NOISE? the answer is ....no.

Although smelly bus passengers seem to be everywhere.....


next week: The Chicken and the Egg.