Chloroxylenol - FOR MEN! (not cats)

In no particular order my three favourite smells are: The smell of frying bacon, The stench of my enemies desperation and the Smell of Dettol.

I love Dettol.

I recently bought a bottle of the good stuff and, when alone, I unscrew the cap and take a quick sniff.

I'm not an addict, but it is a nice strong fresh scent. (I don't inhale).

It whilst getting high nasally inspecting my product that I happened to notice the instructions on the back of the bottle.

I very nearly died, when I read the very last warning in the green label, I involuntarily snorted a nostril full.....

BE WARNED: 

DO NOT HOLD A BOTTLE OF DETTOL TO YOUR NOSE WHILST READING THIS..... 

The above photo reads as follows:

• Do not use Dettol Liquid: on eczema or similar dry skin conditions

• If you are allergic to Chloroxylenol or any of the other ingredients

• After the expiry date printed on the bottle

• Do not use undiluted

• Do not swallow

and finally....

• Not recommended for use around cats.

Cats!

What do the makers of Dettol have against cats?

I know why I don't like cats.

They smell, they are ignorant, they make me itch, they have a look that says "I know what you did and it disgusts me" before flicking a leg in the air and licking their own bottoms... the list goes on.

But what happened, on that fateful day, when somebody, innocently, used a bit of Dettol in the vicinity of a moggy?

Was there a huge explosion or did a crack form in the space/time continuum?

Was THIS the actual cause of financial crash?

Was Cilla dabbing some antiseptic swabs on a small cut to her hand when a stray cat rushed by, knocking her over? (too soon?)

At this point we just don't know.

However, if you DO have a cat - I have some Dettol. 

I'm sure we can do a deal.

Here is a song I made just to show how much I love Dettol.


*This post is NOT sponsored or endorsed by Dettol. (I wish it was though)