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Saturday, 22 August 2015

Chloroxylenol - FOR MEN! (not cats)

In no particular order my three favourite smells are: The smell of frying bacon, The stench of my enemies desperation and the Smell of Dettol.

I love Dettol.

I recently bought a bottle of the good stuff and, when alone, I unscrew the cap and take a quick sniff.

I'm not an addict, but it is a nice strong fresh scent. (I don't inhale).

It whilst getting high nasally inspecting my product that I happened to notice the instructions on the back of the bottle.

I very nearly died, when I read the very last warning in the green label, I involuntarily snorted a nostril full.....



The above photo reads as follows:

  • Do not use Dettol Liquid: on eczema or similar dry skin conditions

  • If you are allergic to Chloroxylenol or any of the other ingredients

  • After the expiry date printed on the bottle

  • Do not use undiluted

  • Do not swallow

and finally....

  • Not recommended for use around cats.


What do the makers of Dettol have against cats?

I know why I don't like cats.

They smell, they are ignorant, they make me itch, they have a look that says "I know what you did and it disgusts me" before flicking a leg in the air and licking their own bottoms... the list goes on.

But what happened, on that fateful day, when somebody, innocently, used a bit of Dettol in the vicinity of a moggy?

Was there a huge explosion or did a crack form in the space/time continuum?

Was THIS the actual cause of financial crash?

Was Cilla dabbing some antiseptic swabs on a small cut to her hand when a stray cat rushed by, knocking her over? (too soon?)

At this point we just don't know.

However, if you DO have a cat - I have some Dettol. 

I'm sure we can do a deal.

Here is a song I made just to show how much I love Dettol.

*This post is NOT sponsored or endorsed by Dettol. (I wish it was though)


  1. Mr H we have two cats and no Dettol, how come Dettol can tell the difference between cats and dogs. I mean from a distance a manky moggy can look a bit dog like, is the genetic nature of cats and dogs so different, I was always told that we share something like 95% of our DNA with every other living thing on Earth including carrots. Is it possible that cats might have entirely different DNA and therefore are Aliens and not of our planet. . . . Strangely that kind of makes some sense and would explain a lot about cats.

    Well done on the song Mr H when you win an award and have to stand up to make a speech remember to say . . . . I owe a great DEBT to you All for the inspiration . . . .or words to that effect.

    I notice it says in both cases consult a doctor and take this bottle with you. . . . Why would you need to take the bottle, I mean surely if you said . . . Sorry doc it was dark and the Gin and the Dettol are in the same cupboard he would just go AH yes Dettol that's the stuff my cat had problems with and would know what's in it.

    Well done it takes nerves of steel to sing when high on Dettol. It is not something I would do, but then we have cats so its a bit of a problem.

    1. I have sent this post off to Dettol HQ, hopefully they shall reply with an answer to the conundrum of cats v Dettol. Until then, we can only live in fear of what would happen if the two should ever meet!!

  2. Dettol, Hmm Hmm Dettol...

    That Damon Albarn has obviously ran out third world musicians to work with if he's now singing about Dettol.
    Right, I'm off to douche with 2 teaspoons of the stuff, in 2 pints of water...better make that 4 teaspoons...

    1. Not sure if that's a compliment or insult.... I'll take it as a compliment, 'cos I'd love his money.


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