Solving The Worlds Problems: #3 Relativity.

The Theory of relativity is NOT one of the worlds greatest problems, I know, but it is one that ADDMAN asked me solve for him and the kind of guy who doesn't want anyone to be bottom of the class and look stupid if it ever came up in a pub quiz.

So with that in mind lets sort science out once and for all.

Einstein, That guy who was famous for sticking his tongue out in photos, was not just a crazy clown, but he also helped to invent the nuclear bomb with his equations.

He also made some statements about how space works which was an answer to a question nobody had ever thought of and that makes him wither really clever or a time waster.

One day, whilst letting his tongue hang out of his mouth for no reason, Albert decided to come up with a theory as to why he was always lumbered with sitting next to sweaty weirdo's on the train.

Every night he would leave the lab and head off home on the last train and although the carriage was empty, the first stop always allowed enough time for Jeff the local drunk to get on and start talking to anyone who would listen about how he "Should sober up but refuses because getting shakes reminds him of how unfair his life has been".

Albert knew there had to be a reason for this unfortunate state of affairs and got his note pad out one day and began to write.

After a few nights of scribbles, Albert decided to give up trying to solve the worlds problems and came up with something that appears to be very scientific and clever but ultimately makes no sense.

Here's what he said.

Space is like some kind of rubber sheet with a bowling ball in the middle. Everything is stretched and not a straight line. So if you roll a penny down the sheet, it will pass the bowling ball and fly off in another direction.... therefore you can't travel faster than the speed of light."

He showed it to all the other scientists at the works bash (it was dress down Friday and Dorothy's birthday) and everybody said "Well done Albert. You are the bestest".

He was wrong though.

Part of his theory was that space and time are the same thing. This is rubbish.

Space is the distance between your house and the pizza shop. Time is how long it takes to get delivered (plus or minus a free garlic bread).

Special relativity states thus: 

"

1. The laws of physics are the same for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another (principle of relativity).
2. The speed of light in a vacuum is the same for all observers, regardless of their relative motion or of the motion of the light source."

This is nonsense,

The laws of physics can not be the same for all observers. Things in the distance appear to move slower than things up close.

This called the Doppler effect. A sound changes pitch as it moves toward or away from you, but in the police car, the sound is constant.

This is also the same for viewing the car.

From a distance a moving vehicle seems to be moving slower until it gets closer. As it does, it appears to move faster until it reaches you and then WHOOSH! it is out of you eye line unless you move your head to follow its path. 

The second point become mute when we introduce Rainbows into Einstein's universe.

Rainbows split the light into its various wavelengths. Particles of light at one end of the spectrum travel at differing lengths than those at the other end (this is how we see colours). 

This MUST mean that the individual particles of light (Light has mass and therefore is a physical thing) are moving further at one end of the spectrum than other.

Because they all reach their destination at the same time we must conclude that some light (colours) travel faster than others.

Therefore, at the very least, Light travels faster than light in some circumstances.

BOOM! SCIENCE Y'ALL!

But nobody ever thought to sit down and work this out.

The thing is, space is nothing like a rubber sheet.

For a start Rubber sheets are flat and space goes off in all directions. 

Plus things... almost ALL THINGS are not bowling balls (with the exception of bowling balls) and the rest is just gibberish.

We have already shown on this blog how it is possible to travel faster than the speed of light and that's just a solid gold fact.

But Einstein is everywhere and everyone things HE is awesome. Just because he had scruffy hair and stuck his tongue out a lot..... a bit like those oddballs who end up sitting next to me on the train.

The guy he hated seeing on the train was probably just his reflection.



I hope that makes a bit of sense to you all.

If you have a burning question you would like answered. Feel free to ask in the comment section below and I will do my best to figure something out.

Solving The Worlds Problems: #1 The Sound of Trees

There's a lot going on in the world right now.

Most of it bad stuff.

From wars in the middle east, climate change,1980's sex pests and those bizarre one sided trunks that idiots insist on wearing.

It's time then, for somebody to stand up and take charge of the situation and put the worlds problems on a table and sort it all out once and for all.

That somebody is me!

We will start with the age old query of "IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NOBODY IS AROUND TO HEAR IT, DOES IT MAKE A NOISE?"

A quick search around the internet will offer you loads of answers raging from YES to NO.

But that's not good enough. What we need is some SCIENCE!

Here we go...

Sound is described by Wikipedia thus: 

"In physics, sound is a vibration that propagates as a typically audible mechanical wave of pressure and displacement, through a medium such asair, and water. In physiology and psychology, sound is the reception of such waves and their perception by the brain."



When the tree falls and connects with the ground, the forces involved cause all the particles and molecules in the area to move. It's all about kinetic energy.

Imagine, if you will, a very sweaty tramp getting on a bus. As he sits down everybody near him will shuffle out of the way so they don't have to smell his grubby armpits..... it's a bit like that, but smaller.

These vibrating, or moving, particles of existence travel along in all directions. With each interaction they lose a little momentum and eventually the travelling vibration dissipates to nothingness.

But where does SOUND come into all this?

The answer is YOUR EARS!

Only when the vibrating molecules reach the little hairs (or rather long spidery hairs in my case) in your ear hole does sound begin to exist.

The ear hairs send a signal to your brain which makes you think "Oh I think a tree has fallen over!"

Then and only then does sound exist.

IN SPACE NOBODY CAN HERE YOU SCREAM so said the tag line for the film Alien. That is because space is mainly a vacuum and there are no molecules or even trees to vibrate, crash together and make a noise.

So, to answer the question, IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NOBODY IS AROUND TO HEAR IT, DOES IT MAKE A NOISE? the answer is ....no.

Although smelly bus passengers seem to be everywhere.....


next week: The Chicken and the Egg.

£1,000,000

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10118970/David-Cameron-offers-1-million-to-solve-worlds-biggest-problem-whatever-it-is.html

The link above is taken from the Telegraph website.

In essence it says that Mr David Cameron, the Prime Minister of the UK is offering £1,000,000 to the person who can answer the worlds biggest problem.

The only problem with this is, nobody has worked out the question.

It seems that politicians have too much time on their hands.

Luckily, so do I.

In the past I have saved everyone else in the world the trouble of having to solve the big issues of the day by writing this blog.

That is why I suggest that DC gives me the Million so that I can keep myself stocked up with CUSTARD CREAMS, buy myself a new microphone and webcam, go on holiday and then write up a list of everything that is wrong with the world and how to solve all those silly problems like war and famine and mobile signals and alien invasions and what to do with odd socks.

The rest of the money can be spent of advertising and employing somebody to peel my grapes and give me foot rub.

£1,000,000 is not a lot to ask for, especially when it's already being offered up as a prize.

Why waste it on solving one problem when I can solve ALL the problems of the world and do it on a weekly basis with poorly made videos and/or the occasional socially unacceptable song thrown in for free?

It really is a no brainer.

So Mr Cameron, This post has been tweeted to your own twitter account and posted here for all the world to see.

I await your response and a cheque at your next convenience.

Another award..

A Daft Scots Lass has kindly given me the Liebster award. 

this is now the fourth time I have been given this internet based based and have to yet to receive one single giant sized cheque.

I'm sure they will come through any day now.

Seeing as how these awards for being brilliant (I'm guessing that's what it is and not an order to cease and desist) I am going to try and fulfil the requirements sent to me with this award*.

*A Daft Scots Lass is not the sort of person you want be on the wrong side of....

so here goes.

These are your questions
1. Whats your favourite sports team? - That Local Sports team, they are good at what it is that they do.

2. Dogs or Cats? Yes.

3. Your most embarrassing moment. - hahahahahahha, oh man, you need to try harder than that for me to let slip about the time i [edited for international crimes against normality]

4. Bacon or Chocolate? Bacon. Without a doubt Bacon is the ultimate food. Chocolate is for girls.

5. Which social media platforms and why? - Y'mean Facebook and Twitter? um... yea those.

6. Winter or Summer? - Summer brings the money, Winter brings peace and quite. I'll say Autumn.

7. Who is your role model? - Victor Meldrew, Tony Hancock, Frank Spencer. take your pick

I now have to tell you lot 7 random facts about me....

That will come on the next post.

Well done me.

Question Of The Month - Proof Of Ultimate Idiocy

This evening I have been asked a question that nobody else in the world has ever been questioned before.

The question in question is this:

“Why is there a burn mark in the shape of lightning and purple stains on your side of the bed?”

This, as I am sure you will agree, is a very strange question to ask indeed.

The answer is as follows.

It all started in the spare room.

In an attempt to tidy up in preparation for visitors this weekend, I decided that it would be a good idea to get a head start. I moved my telescope into the front room, put some clothes away and moved the rug that used to be in the front room but we don’t know if we are keeping it or throwing it away yet, under the bed.

I even hovered the front room…. A bit.

All was going swimmingly until I thought I’d go one step further in order to please Mrs H.

I started to clear my bed side table.

It has got quite busy these past few weeks what a radio, my wallet, phone charger, a couple of little badges, cuff links, wage slips, receipts and an unfortunate glass of cordial.

*it is at this point the reader should press play on their copy of the theme tune to SOME MOTHERS DO ‘AVE ‘EM*

As I untwisted the knot of wires that had cumulated over a period of weeks, I accidently knocked over the glass of cordial on to the bed. The glass hit the metal frame and smashed into little pieces and that is where the purple stains came from - it's nothing naughty! (you filthy minded perverts- yes Lily I'm looking at you)

As for the lightning rod burn mark….

I am in SO much trouble...

I realised too late that my brilliant idea of being helpful was not helpful in any way shape or form and instead opted to try and clear up after myself.

I mopped up as much of the stain as I could with a towel (now ruined) and used some Vanish spray to clear up the liquid.

The bed sheet was of course soaking wet and my brain went into overdrive with fantastic solutions.

I grabbed the good lady’s hairdryer and started to blow dry the crap out of that sucker.

I failed to realise, quite quickly, that the hairdryer was super hot, and in my attempt to dry up my mess in a timely fashion… burnt a bloody hole into the bed.

This, if ever an excuse was needed, is why men do not use hair dryers and should in no way be allowed to try and tidy up.

It’s not within our remit. We are not capable as a gender to tidy up. We are only capable of making things much MUCH worse.

proof of uselessness #258

Let this be a lesson to all you women out there that us men as totally and utterly useless…. Well, I am anyway.

Ponderables

Here is a very short version of the many many things that rattle through my over tired mind most evenings. Make of them what you will.

Do spiders get hiccups?

How do aeroplanes stay up?

Are ducks called ducks because they duck, or is ducking called ducking because ducks duck?

Which came first the toothbrush or toothpaste?

Are goldfish capable of headaches?

If God is omnipotent can he/she see the bad of their own head and does he/she get freaked out about it?

Why does nothing ever come in nines?

If the purpose of toe nails is to protect the soft skin underneath, why do we not just evolve to have normal skin all over and then we don’t need to bother about toe nails?

Why don’t shops sell ready salted chipsticks anymore? (the corn snack not the thin potato ones)

mmmmm. salty

How come the moon appears to be exactly the same size as the sun (for purposes of solar eclipses)

Liiiiiike a glove!

This is not a concise list of the strange and possibly unanswerable things that occur to me from time to time, but it is a glimpse into the twisted nonsense that pops up in my thoughts.

Having written this at 10:55pm I now have very little chance of getting any sleep tonight.

Bugger.

Quiz Of The Year 2013

By now we should all have gotten over the Christmas period, trees should be in the loft (or bin) bottles should be recycled and the news should be full of public sector workers threatening to go on strike because there isn’t a bank holiday due for a few weeks.

New years resolutions will either be a distant memory or not even thought up yet and nobody in the world can stomach the thought of turkey sandwiches for at least another six weeks.

So as the nights slowly begin to get a little less dark and none of us can afford to go out and have fun because we still paying off xmas, let’s have a little game!

I present to you all – Bumferry Hogarts Quiz of the year.

Question one: How much longer can that online insurance company drag out the very weak gag of sounding a little bit little an animal and using a puppet with a Russian accent on its adverts?

Question two: Why are my keys never where I left them?

Question three: Is that you, or does the dog need to go outside?

Question four: How are you feeling?

Question five: How do you spell Constantinople?

Question five: If Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers, Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Question six: Has anybody heard from Alan Tichmarsh recently… or at least since all this business about Jimmy Savile got serious?

Question seven: Do you like butter?

Question eight: How many questions is this now?

Question nine: Name this song… doo de doo de dooooooo. Do de dum de deeedoooooo….

Question ten: Why are there two question fives?

Don’t forget to write your answers on the back of your hand and send to the usual address.

The winner will receive a load of Christmas cards* ready for next years festivities.

*cards may be slightly used and have some names scribbled out.

The Answer That Will Make Everything Better

Last week I asked the question “What is the greatest sitcom theme EVER” in order to allow the world to rejoice in agreeing with at least one thing as a point of reference so that the UN or whoever can build a topic of rapport with all the nations of the world and bring about a glorious age of peace.

As it turns out only one fellow blogger had the wherewithal to produce a glorious effort.

That blogger was no other than Rob of http://robztobor.blogspot.co.uk/, which is well worth a look see, if you don’t already look and see it on a regular basis.

Thankyou Rob.

Rob’s effort was this little number which we all know and love:

Now, Maybe Robs vote of The Adams Family was firmly agreed by all to be the best of the best and no other vote was cast…. Or nobody else wants to see the human race progress towards a brighter future.

I don’t know for sure, but I have my own suspicions.

I will be sending an email to the UN with a link to this blog in order that they may take notice of our efforts, but in the unlikely event that we don’t see a special press conference in the coming weeks where all of the leaders of the world are seen clicking their fingers in time to the above theme tune, you only have yourselves to blame. (except me and Rob that is!)

A Question That Will Make Everything Better.

There are many unanswered questions that require a resolution.

Where is he going with this...?

Throughout human history mankind has attempted to attach reasoning to the great mysteries of the universe.

Such questions from our distant past such “Where does the sun go at night?” and “What are clouds made of?” all the way to the chicken and the egg thing and trees in woods falling over and all that jazz.

My own personal favourite ponderable "HOW DO AREOPLANES STAY UP" is one that many people have tried to explain to me with their so-called scientific explanations using logic and evidence and the like but I just don’t believe any of them.

But there is one question and one question only that has the opportunity to unite everybody of every colour, creed and denomination.

It is the one question that may result in many differing answers but will ultimately give us all a chance to agree on one thing when the correct answer presents itself.

Today, I offer you lovely people the chance to be that one hero, that singular individual (is there any other kind?) who can utter those words of such truism that maybe, JUST MAYBE when we all wake up tomorrow the world might be a slightly better place.

Here it is. The one question to unite the world.

Get ready….

AAAArgh! I'm beinbg attacked by  conundrums!

(dramatic isn’t it?)

What is the best sitcom theme music EVER?

The answer may not be as simple as you think.

I would like you to take your time and consider your options. You are allowed as many goes as you like but make ‘em good ‘uns!

Once you have it in your head, write it down in the comments box below and share with the world.

Don’t be shy. There are no wrong answers (well, there are wrong answers, but you will not be hounded off the internet for trying to help the whole world! – this isn't twitter.)

Good luck everyone.  The runners up and the correct answer will posted at the end of play on the November the 5^TH. So remember that date if you can…somehow. Maybe with a rhyme of some sort.

The Bumferry Hogart Census Form 2012

Today (or whenever it is you are reading this) sees the very first ever Internet based Census for this here blog.

In order to accurately engage view you, my dear readers, I feel the need is there to find out exactly what makes you - you.

The following nine questions have been scientifically designed with some really complicated algorithms by some right clever bods. It took them nearly all day using that graph papaer and different colour pens and and protractor (I haven't sued one of them in YEARS!!)

Anyway, Here it is. pop your answers in the box at the bottom and remember there are NO WRONG ANSWERS* Good luck.

*there are some wrong answers which will result in minus points and a forfit.

Question one (gender):

What are you:

A: A man

B: A Womb-man?

C: Miscellaneous

Question two (age):

When you bend down to take your socks off do you:

A: Whip them off and leave them where they lie.

B: make a strange “hoof” type noise and require a couple of goes to get them both off.

C: Get the dog to do it

D: Don’t wear socks because you are some kind of vegan or something?

Question three (employment):

What is your work status:

A: I am a third rate keyboard monkey, working for the man.

B: Self employed (spending most of your time fiddling the books so you don’t have to pay tax)

C: a stay at home mum (probably doing drugs and drink watching Jeremy Kyle and/or spending most of your day taking part in radio phone ins)

D: One of those ungrateful lottery winners (you bastard

Question four (family):

How many people live in your home:

A: Just me, I’m so lonely and unwanted.

B: My house is full of snot nosed little brats who won’t stop asking “Why?” and eating crayons …

C: I live with my parents because I’m some osrt of bum.

D: I sleep under the stars. Wandering these dark streets righting wrongs and stopping evil wherever it festers.

Question five (pets)

Do you have any of the following:

A: Dog

B: Cat

C: Fish

D: Tamogotchi

E: Other.

F: None the local authority won’t allow me to keep any livestock since those pigs I kept in the kitchen ate Mrs Grimshaws corpse.

Question six:

If you were offered £10,000,000 for one of your limbs which one would you happily loose?

A: left arm

B: right arm

C: Left leg

D: Right leg

E: Take what you want, Them’s better terms than Wonga.com.

Question seven:

What are you wearing right now?

A: A corporate suit and tie, just like “the man”

B: A gimp mask and a whole pot of chunky marmalade.

C: Just my pants and top.

D: Nothing, Clothes are the emotional barriers set upon by the government to dictate what gender specific roles we must adhere to until the arrival of their alien overlords who will pick us off one by one and eat our brains or whatever.

Question eight:

To be or not to be….

A: to be

B: Not to be.

Question nine:

If you awoke suddenly and found yourself in a coffin with another human being which would you prefer?

A: The re-animated corpse of Jimmy Savile?

B: A sexually enraged Sean Connery?

C: Either one of Jedward screaming like a fucking banshee?

D: Little Jimmy Krankie doing a poo?

Once you have your answers please post them below with a valid explanation/ excuse explaining why you did "that thing that time".

Questions Questions Questions...

Part two of three was an opportunity to have all those answers that have kept you awake at night finally put to bed. 

It became apparent at the end of last night, as I checked the comments box, that one of two things were true.

Either my readers are very clever, self educating know-alls or...

Are too bloody thick and lazy to find the comments box.

I know for sure it’s the first option. Us intelli . . . intilagunt.... intelly... clever folk tend to gravitate towards one another don’t we?

Hello?

Addman writes: 

If you shit yourself in biodegradable knickers, could you call it “composting”?

What a Rapscallion his is. Up to and including the size of Kumquat (but not a neutron more) of faeces inside any form of underwear can be described as composting and should keep things Tickity-boo. Although I suspect a quick Google search with the parental controls witched OFF would produce some varied and quite alarming results on this. (see what I did there?)

Rob asks: 

Why do clothing shops assume no one is over the age of 25?

To answers Robs query we must first realise that HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE UNDER 25!!!

If, like me, you are well past that age then you are officially old as more than half the world is younger than you.

For the all the pain of finding clothes are not TOO hip and cool for having a saggy, bloating and liver spotted body, remember that all the crap we leave behind us is for the youth of today to pick up after us.

Sod ‘em. Let them wear their skinny jeans and bangles and tattoos that don’t wash off. Pfft. Bloody kids!

Lily popped in for a brew and a chat and offered this little conundrum...

Why is the collective term for penis “penises” but the collective term for vagina is vaginae and not vaginas?

Which is a very interesting question indeed.

I was not even aware that there was ever a need to create a word for more than one penis at a time... oh wait... I have read her blog... oh yes I see know.

a-hem...

To answer the question, though, penises makes sense and vaginae makes less sense. Much like a group of men and a group of women.

Men are sensible creatures capable of linear thought both philosophical and metaphysical in nature whereas women for the most part, just talk a load of old toot. It’s all lipsticks, sanitary towels and stomach cramps....

(In fact the collective term for a mixture of peniseseses mixed with a bunch of vaginae is known as a parliament of c*cks and c*nts)

Well, there you go. 3 questions.

Hardly an episode of QI was it.

But the questions were well worth it and I would like to thank all those who took part.

As for the rest of you – COME ON!!!!

Now is your chance to take part and interact with a certified world record holder (that’s right folks I was part of an official World record over the bank holiday – more on that later).

But for my final act in this trilogy of experiments’ I would like each and every one of you to provide a word for me to use as part of a poem.

It can be any word, but usual T&C’s apply.

Go on, Have fun with it. Become one with the comments box and just lets yourself go...

Cheers big ears!

998 Words: The Return

Greetings folks and welcome to 2012’s first edition of my irrelevant and irregular running post based on the theme of 998 words.

I would love to these more often, but they are as hard to write as I imagine they are to read.

I am going to keep doing them though.

But before we go any further, here is a little disclaimer:

This following post contains five whole swear words of varying values.

If you don’t want to read swear words or you are offended by them, please be aware of the following words in this post: wankerish, bloody, prick, fuck and bloody.

Thank you.

Every year a website known as edge.org asks a bunch of egg heads and well known clever people to answer a single question of such wankerish magnitude its a wonder all the participants and the person who thought up the question in the first have not vanished up their own bottoms.

This list of people include a load of brainiacs, some professors of something or other and a few psychologists. Oh yes, and Brain Eno for some reason.

Mainly though, they all seem to fall under the category of prick.

However, if you want to feel utterly stupid and/or bare witness to what is possible the premier collection of self important smart arses then you can read all of their responses to the question of the year at the link bellow...

http://www.edge.org/responses/what-is-your-favorite-deep-elegant-or-beautiful-explanation

Prick!

the question this year was: 

What is your favourite deep, elegant, or beautiful explanation?

(I know, straight away you want to punch someone don’t you?)

The following is one of many bullshit entries from a around 200 smart arse losers.

Seirian Sumner

Research Fellow in Evolutionary Biology, Institute of Zoology, Zoological Society of London

I play this game with my kids. It's a 'guess-who' game: Think of an animal, person, object and then try to describe it to another person without giving away the real identity. The other person has to guess what/who you are. You have to get in character and tell a story: What do you do, how do you feel, what do you think and want?

Let's have a go. Read the character scenarios below and see if you can guess who/what they are.

"It's just not fair! Mum says I'm getting in the way, I'm a lay-about and she can't afford for me to stay with her any more. But I like being in a big family, and I don't want to leave. Mum says that if I am to stay home, we'd need some kind of 'glue' to keep us from drifting apart. Glue is costly and she says she hasn't the energy to make it since she's busy making babies. But then I had this brilliant idea: how aboutImake the glue using a bit of cell wall (mum won't mind), add some glycoproteins (they're a bit sticky, so I have to promise mum I'll wash my hands afterwards) and bingo! Job done: we've got ourselves a nice cosy extracellular matrix! I'm happy doing the bulk of the work, so long as mum keeps giving me more siblings. I suggested this to mum last night, and guess what? She said yes! But she also said I'm out the door if I don't keep up my side of the bargain: no free-riders…."

Who am I?

Me

"I am a uni-cell becoming multicellular...”

What sort of home life do her kids have? F*ck me!!!!

She does go on with another example which I can’t bring myself to copy on to here, it’s so ridiculous you would think I had made it up!

But then again on the flip side of things there is one exception to the rule and when asked the question . . . they gave this response, which I think is the best of the bunch...

My brain as seen by clever buggers!

Dave Winer

Founder of UserLand Software

What Time Is It? 

A few years ago, I heard said only old-fashioned folk wear watches. But I thought I would always wear a watch. Today I don't wear a watch.

How do I find the time? Either I do without or I keep my eyes fixed on a screen that has the time in the upper-right corner. It's gotten so that I resent that reality doesn't display the time in the upper-right corner. 

That was the most ‘normal’ answer from the bunch which doesn’t say much because it does not relate to the question posed in any way shape or form which really does make a mokery of everything in existence.. Although it is the only one I read and understood without having to reach for a dictionary and an asprin.

"Ooh.. What's his name again....."

If scientists and clever folks spent more time working out the important things in life and not answering stupid bloody questions like this, the world would be in a much better place.

As it is, its left to idiots like to come up with ALL OF THE ANSWERS to help mind kind.

Because it was ME and ME ALONE that gave the world the answers to ending all wars,solving world debt and travelling faster than light.

In respect of that last one, these white coated cretins are now trying to prove they thought of it themselves by firing neutrinos at Italy or something because they refuse to admit that I’m cleverererer than they are which is probably why I didn’t get the email asking for my answer.

They will never learn.... its not going to stop me though.

Here is my answer to the question:

My favourite deep, elegant and beautiful explanation was told to me by my mum who always said – “because I said so!” that sums up everything in life.

The above quotes and lots of other mind numbingly ridiculous answers to that fart of a question can be viewed at http://www.edge.org/responses/what-is-your-favorite-deep-elegant-or-beautiful-explanation if you have nothing better to do with the rest of your day, or hate your own eyeballs so much you want them to feel real pain.

I'm not sure what this one means...