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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Friday, 15 June 2012

Questions Questions Questions...

Part two of three was an opportunity to have all those answers that have kept you awake at night finally put to bed. 

It became apparent at the end of last night, as I checked the comments box, that one of two things were true.

Either my readers are very clever, self educating know-alls or...

Are too bloody thick and lazy to find the comments box.

I know for sure it’s the first option. Us intelli . . . intilagunt.... intelly... clever folk tend to gravitate towards one another don’t we?


Addman writes: 
If you shit yourself in biodegradable knickers, could you call it “composting”?

What a Rapscallion his is. Up to and including the size of Kumquat (but not a neutron more) of faeces inside any form of underwear can be described as composting and should keep things Tickity-boo. Although I suspect a quick Google search with the parental controls witched OFF would produce some varied and quite alarming results on this. (see what I did there?)

Rob asks: 

Why do clothing shops assume no one is over the age of 25?

To answers Robs query we must first realise that HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE UNDER 25!!!

If, like me, you are well past that age then you are officially old as more than half the world is younger than you.

For the all the pain of finding clothes are not TOO hip and cool for having a saggy, bloating and liver spotted body, remember that all the crap we leave behind us is for the youth of today to pick up after us.

Sod ‘em. Let them wear their skinny jeans and bangles and tattoos that don’t wash off. Pfft. Bloody kids!

Lily popped in for a brew and a chat and offered this little conundrum...

Why is the collective term for penis “penises” but the collective term for vagina is vaginae and not vaginas?

Which is a very interesting question indeed.

I was not even aware that there was ever a need to create a word for more than one penis at a time... oh wait... I have read her blog... oh yes I see know.


To answer the question, though, penises makes sense and vaginae makes less sense. Much like a group of men and a group of women.

Men are sensible creatures capable of linear thought both philosophical and metaphysical in nature whereas women for the most part, just talk a load of old toot. It’s all lipsticks, sanitary towels and stomach cramps....

(In fact the collective term for a mixture of peniseseses mixed with a bunch of vaginae is known as a parliament of c*cks and c*nts)

Well, there you go. 3 questions.

Hardly an episode of QI was it.

But the questions were well worth it and I would like to thank all those who took part.

As for the rest of you – COME ON!!!!

Now is your chance to take part and interact with a certified world record holder (that’s right folks I was part of an official World record over the bank holiday – more on that later).
But for my final act in this trilogy of experiments’ I would like each and every one of you to provide a word for me to use as part of a poem.

It can be any word, but usual T&C’s apply.

Go on, Have fun with it. Become one with the comments box and just lets yourself go...

Cheers big ears!


  1. Haha! A well crafted answer there. This is fun, more people should take part.

    As for the poem, it's a shame we can only supply one word. My word is #Prolapse. However, if you can find it in your heart to humour a stranger on the Internet, I'd also like to see the words #Tuna, #Hermaphrodite, and #Troika.

  2. Hahahaha! Damn you Bumferry Hogart! I just spat pieces of Doctor Who cake all over the keyboards!

    Brilliant answers. My word will be 'Discombobulated.'
    Prolapse, tuna and hermaphrodite, kind of writes itself really.
    This is fun! I hope more people join in.

  3. Well Mr H glad you are still working away at this I have to think of a word now. Damn it I am not sure I an meant to be using by brain in this task, not in the morning anyway ......


    I wish you well with this task particularly as it is not caravanning weather at present and I imagine the punters are grumbling

    1. Sorry spelling a bit odd there... 'I am not sure I am meant to be using my brain'

      I think this makes the point I am scrambled

    2. You would think the liquid sunshine that is currently falling would them off, but NO! we're almost full this weekend!!

  4. Some good requests so far - But I think there are some very well crazy and unusual (not to nention hard to spell) words out there just waiting to be used in a poem... Come on folks - I double dog dare ya!!! :o)

  5. Replies
    1. I can always count on you with ya big words. thanks dude.... no really. THANKS.


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