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Saturday, 2 August 2014

Solving The Worlds Problems: #2 Chicken and Egg

Here we go.

Part two in an ongoing series where by, together, we solve the worlds most radical problems.

Before we do though, it is important to note that since the first episode it has come to light that certain scientific minds have been stealing my ideas and passing them off as their own. 

The latest theft involved a post I made three years ago when I decided to share my ideas about how to travel faster than the speed on light.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified... Then I realised I wasn't Gloria Gaynor and so I made a half hearted threat that got me nowhere.

But I shall not be deterred from helping others less intelligent than myself and dragging the lot of you out from the darkness of ignorance and allow you wash yourselves in the light of ...um... enlightenment.

So without further a-do, let's get cracking.... (hahahahaha - cracking... eggs- cracking? no? sod y'then)

The question we all need an answer to is one that has stumped the great thinkers of our age and every other age before us.

Which came first: The Chicken or the Egg?

The answer requires us to confirm a few constants.

A: Evolution is a thing. regardless of any religious beliefs, things turn into other things over time.
This is a solid gold fact and should not be ignored.

B: For the sake of typing it over and over again, when eggs are mentioned we are talking specifically about chicken eggs).

C: Left overs from KFC and my dog do not make for pleasant smells. (this not directly required knowledge but KFC do chickens so there's that..)

D: We are going to be talking percentages...... a fair bit.

Now to business.

Millions of years ago there were no chickens (or eggs) and today are more than 500 chickens around the world.

How did that happen?

Sex. That's what.

Chickens had sex with other chickens. The result of this copulation was an egg.

The egg hatched and out popped another chicken.

A bit like those Russian Dolls.

But if we allow our imaginations to travel back all those millennia ago we would find the chicken ancestors bonking around without a care in the world.

Todays chicken is 100% chicken. It's DNA is 100% of we know it to be. 

In the dark and distant past, when chickens were less evolved as they are now their percentage rate would have been less....

The ancient chickens (if we go back far enough) would have been 1% chicken and 99% (probably) dinosaur or something.

When a chicken makes an egg (fertilised, not just one of those unfertilised ones which are just the equivalent of chicken periods) it is a 50-50 split of the genetic material of the daddy egg and the mummy egg.

The chicken that was born of the 1% chicken was encased in an egg made from the DNA of the mummy chicken. The 2% chicken that lay inside was warm and safe surrounded by the shell of it's mother.

the 2% chicken met another 2% chicken (or similar) and after a few drinks they did the dirty deed and what came next from the egg the 2% Mummy Chicken was a 3% chicken. 

This is due to the combination of the mummy chicken and the daddy chicken.

Another way to look at this is look at your own parents. You are part your mum and part your dad. Therefore you are a combination of their DNA.

Back to the chickens.

We have confirmed that chickens used to share 1% of their DNA with their modern counterparts and today are known as 100% chicken!

We have reached, on the evolutionary scale the 3 percenters. 

Let us skip to the end (because even I'm bored already!!0 and get to the conclusion.

Chickens lay eggs. What comes out of those eggs is the next step of evolution.

Therefore the answer to the question, which came first the chicken or the egg, is....... Chicken.


Why didn't the egg come first? Chicken come from eggs. So there had to be eggs first, surely?

No your wrong. Go back and read it all again.

You're an idiot.

That's not a question... What am I supposed to do with that info?!?!?

Eggs are Chicken periods?


Why doesn't this post make any real sense?

It's probably because my nephews are visiting whilst I write this and are trying to show me a video about pooing. 

So, are you saying that as chickens evolved, their eggs were always one step behind because they are made only by the female chicken and not the male, thus resulting in the internal DNA mixture of the new born being one step closer to the modern day chicken. Is it? IS IT???

Yea.... kind of.

Have you got a link for that video?

Yes (your freak) here it is.... Teaching Kids to poop!

next week: Theory of relativity. 


  1. Hello Mr H . . . . . it has always been my belief that Birds are the direct descendants of dinosaurs, there is much evidence for this bone structure and oddly enough Knees. Dinosaurs and birds have the same leg movement, which is what made me think they were one and the same beast even when I was little. This is now mainstream theory, not that I get any credit for it (typical), so you see the chicken was a much higher percentage of Dinosaur DNA than 1%, more like 80% or more. So the point of all this is the process you describe is absolutely correct but would happen faster than you think. if you add to that man's intervention by selective breeding then the process speeds up even more. In fact one could argue that the chicken was doomed to become a chicken even before it was an egg . . . .and that therefore means I totally agree with you.

    Oooooo relativity I will be even more excited by that I might let my pet chicken (isaac Newton) read that . . . . Keep up the good work and dont let those folk at the New Scientist snigger at you . . . what do they know.

    1. What do THEY know indeed.... I'll tell you what THEY know Rob.... how to "copy and paste" my work that's what! Filthy Robdogs!

  2. Oh my giddy Aunt, I enjoyed both parts I and 2 immensely, and I haven't even been drinking.
    You're like some kind of genius Mr H...I'm not sure what kind that is, but you're definitely some kind of genius.

    1. Learning can be fun...... Although I would check what medication your Aunt is on as Giddiness, as a side effect, can cause more harm than good. ;O)

  3. This is wrong. The 99% chicken would have laid the egg that had the necessary DNA inside that hatched into the 100% chicken. The 100% chicken is just a mutation of the 99% chicken, but both species would have been born from eggs. Eggs are the answer.

    1. *sigh*.... There's always one.

      The egg laid by the 99% chicken is only made from the DNA of the 99% chicken.
      The baby chicken INSIDE the 99% is the more evolved and is 100% chicken.

      As the egg (less evolved) is broken, the chicken (more evolved) pops out and SCIENCE wins!!!!

      Feel silly now don't you..... you could say you have EGG on your face!!!! hahahahahahahhahahahahaha

    2. Yes but the question is "which came first?" not "which is the most evolved?" The first 100% chicken still came from an egg.

      Besides, the zygote cell is in the egg (the first cell of a new living creature), ergo, the egg shares the exact same DNA as the resultant chicken.

    3. Here's a source that might help:


    4. How very dare you sir. This is not the place to be throwing facts around willy nilly. (you'll have somebodies eye out!!!)

      While I agree the zygote is part of the new chicken, I would hypothesize that the outershell of the EGG is, in fact, made from the same DNA of the mummy chicken and is only 99%.

      ps- is this how wars start?????

    5. Also... forgot to add, ... In answering the question WHICH CAME FIRST? we need to establish which party has become the item that we know today. This means we have to find out which one became evolved into "100%" as of our modern day era.

      The Chicken popped out of the Egg. The egg is slightly less evolved than the chicken that it houses.


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