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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Real Life Locked Room Mystery

By the time you read I will be gone.

I have no idea where I will be.

I do not know what state my body or mind will be in.

All I do know, is that I will not be here.... I will be somewhere else.

Somewhere secret.

I am due to be locked in a room with no obvious means of escape.

I will be forced to rely on the knowledge and intelligence "The incredibly Upsetting Boy", Dan (who still does not know why 'THEY' can't invent a country without wind)  and the t'other half of Sinkingship Productions Darren who's birthday treat we are collectively taking part in.

If our group were to be described by an outsider I would most defiantly be the one most likely described as Thelma from the Scooby Doo cartoons.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will come to some kind of physical harm/emotional distress or both.

It does however give me a little breathing space for a very .... hmm.... different kind of post that should be ready for my "hopeful" return.

In the meantime, here are some pictures of a massive mutant spider that tried to steal my evening snacks the other night.

(if you zoom in you can see his gang 'tats' and flick knife that he threatened me with)


  1. No idea what said mutant spider looked like, because I just zoomed past that mofo.
    If your survive, I'll see you on the other side. If you don't, then...er...um...I'll see you on the other side.

    1. Luckily there were no spiders inside the room... nor were there enough clues to help us get out in time.

      I'm not saying we were, as a group, thick as pig shit, but I have had a strange sensation of being eye up by local farmers who want to spread me over their land ever since I returned (that sound really rude doesn't it?)

  2. Hello Mr H . . . . I say hello because if you read this it means you have survived your ordeal and are back in the world of us mere mortals. When I say us mere mortals I refer to everyone else rather than myself as I am not a mere mortal but a rather special if incredibly modest one. I will not linger on that point too long because of my already mentioned modesty which I was not originally planning to mention because I am modest.

    I hope you lot are not out chasing rabbits again and setting fire to forests, but if you are good luck. . . in fact good luck anyway although as I have said you will not need that as when you read this you will be safe again

    1. As soon as I got back there was a big fat rabbit waiting for me! The cheeky bleeder!

      I chased it off as it ran down a hole in the fence, I'll get it next time.

      We failed in the best possible fashion though in the locked room.

      The clue "I plan to arrive on the 7th" was supposed to be clear indication to look through a childrens encyclopaedia and find a quote on a hidden postcard. the page the reference was on would have been the combination to the lock.... obvious when you think about it....... i don't think!


How did this get here?