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Wednesday 5 January 2011

DO NOT READ THIS - NO REALLY - DONT!

Behold observers of the obtuse, for it is I Bumferry Hogart with another potentially award winning blog!
Over next 500 or so words we shall be discussing some very topical news and noting the potential implications of freedom of speech.
If you or somebody you know has been in the news recently and may or may not have killed that woman in Bristol... look away now because you may find your face is all over this.
YOU FILTHY TOE-RAG!!
You have been warned. So don’t go suing me or anything like that – because if you do I’m gonna get you cos I’m well ‘ard – yea!!

And so...
IN OTHER NEWS. Bristol police want us all to look for this missing grey sock. I would have thought they would have been better off asking us all to look for the killer.
Some people might say “Like the landlord. Who is the killer and did it. Even if he didn’t do it, that man killed a person.
Look at his face and hair. That is the face and hair of the sort of person a child would draw if asked to draw a picture of a scary murderer."

now, i would never be so crass as to blatently say such a thing, but others might...

These people may carry on with the following...
"I really don’t know what is wrong with the Bristol police service these days. It just goes from bad to worse.
Back in 2002 a number of Bristol Bobbies were taken off active duty due to being arrested for drunken and lewd behaviour!
The list is endless.
STRANGER DANGER
Go to Google and type the following:
Bristol landlords that killed that girl
And this is the first image that hits your screen.




"If that is not proof enough that he did it (although he may not have) then I don’t know what is.
That is the face of a murderer.
Even if he has a tight-cast alibi and wasn’t even in the country but being filmed by a loads of nuns and high court judges have high tea with the queen – he most definatley did it. He looks like one. Therefore he HAS to be one.
Nobody has ever misjudged what a person is like just by the way they look.
$I bet he uses that missing sock to do a sex in it.
The filthy bugger.”

Of course some people might say that, but not me.
I have no idea who did it and certainly don’t think it him more than anyone else... now the boyfriend?
Well, it’s always the bloody boyfriend isn’t it.... or the dad.... or the ex.... or the boss...

But if we are supposed to be looking for this mysterious sock of destiny how much of our time are we to spend looking for it, because in-between looking for maddie and a cure for cancer AND the common cold, I’m a little busy this week.
There’s the big society to build not to mention getting over excited about “THE WEDDING” (forfuckssake).
I can’t really be expected to find a single sock. It could be anywhere. Although I’d bet good money on it being down the pants of that creepy looking landlord. The weirdo.
Cheers for reading.

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