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Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Answer To A Question Nobody Asked pt2

It is quite windy outside and the conker tree outside my caravan window is swinging wildly and so I thought now would be as good a time as any to ask the following question.

If a tree falls in the woods and there is nobody around to hear it, does it make a sound?

This is a question that has dumbfounded scientists and religious folks and general professional thinkers for billions of years. Today in a matter of just a few simple paragraphs and a couple of crappy pictures I will prove once and for all that the answer is NO.

There are of course a couple of ways to look at this problem.

The first and most obvious is with the heavy hand of science.

When a tree falls and somebody IS there to see it (maybe they pushed the tree over – who knows!?!?) the tree does a number of things.

As gravity pull the tree towards the ground fibres of the tree trunk split. This is done many, many times as the tree has many, many fibrous bits in it. FACT.

The tree also causes the air to move as it falls and crashes to the ground. All the twigs and dead birds stuck up in the branches, half decayed carcases of carrion. Avian graveyards with only maggots and flies swarming endlessly, devouring the rotting flesh of once beautiful flying creatures now nothing more than meals for the parasites and carnivorous bugs that breed endlessly.... um... sorry... ahem... 

where was I??

Oh yes.

The splitting of these little bits of stuff that trees are made out causes something called atoms to move about a bit. When atoms and other small things move about they vibrate. These vibrations  are carried through the air and reach the human ear. Once inside the ear, something I think it’s a bone, wobbles and the brain interprets this as sound.

That is what sound waves are. Wibbly wobbly bits of stuff going on somewhere.

If there is nobody to hear the wibbly wobbly bits of movement made by atoms or what ever... maybe it’s not atoms.... it might be particles – really can’t be bothered to Google – lets go with particles.. (if is not particles or atoms, then it is something like those things. Whatever the scientific word is for bits, that’s what I’m getting at here) when these particles shift around and wobble about and there isn’t a hearing implement like the ear to pick up on them, then they simple remain a vibration of air and are not technically a sound.

So in conclusion. If a tree falls and blah blah blah – the answer is a big fat no.

I could be wrong though.

The other way to look at this problem is with the power stupidity.

In this case we would simply say yes if a tree falls and nobody is around to hear it, then it would make a sound.

This rational would be followed with no proof, evidence or further analysis to solidify our point. A straight forward shrug of the shoulders to highlight our own ignorance at the world around us would be enough.

I actually like the second way best.

To the best of my knowledge there are no dead birds in the conker tree.


  1. Suck my bottom.

  2. LOOK! It works with ANYTHING! If a shoplifter steals a shoe with no-one around to catch him, did he steal it?


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