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Sunday, 13 November 2011

When You Point Your Finger 'cos Your Plan Fell Through

. . . You've Got Three More Fingers Pointing Back At You.

Yesterday I went out for my weekly food shopping.

Not the most exciting start to a blog entry I’m sure you will agree but stick with it – it might just get better (none binding promise)

Whilst shopping for popcorn and a mountain of crisps and 3 for 2 boxes of tea bags (note the lack of fresh veg and/or fruit – although corn is a veg so that counts) Mrs H guided over to the clothes section.

I’ve never understood why supermarkets have clothes sections. Or technology aisles for that matter, if I want a DVD player I will go to a DVD player shop, not Sainsbury’s. Anyway, while milling around shoving my trolley into the legs of toddlers and pushing old peoples stock piles of easy to digest mash and sardines down to the other end of the aisles so when they turn around they believe the onset of Alzheimer’s has kicked in, Mrs H grabbed my arm and asked if I wanted a jumper.

I didn’t.

I told her so and then stopped in my tracks. There next to the jumpers were a whole heap of hats.
Now I like a good hat. Hats are very few and far between in today’s modern society.
I don’t mean those stupid baseball caps that people who defiantly do not play or even follow the sport of baseball wear, nor do I mean those farmers hats that have for some reason become popular amongst students and hipsters.

What I saw and fell in love with was a mini deerstalker style hat.

Working outdoors, as I do, and with the weather getting a bit nippy thoughts tend to gravitate towards the cold that will sweep way through and indeed around my head, so a hat seems like a good idea.
HATS - Always hiding something...

I tried on one of the hats.

It fit quite snugly around my cranium. I pulled the buttoned up ear flaps to see if the comfort still held once applied. The first flap popped out of its clasp with relative ease. The other flap however did not.

It took some tugging and pulling and a little swearword and then “pop”. I dislocated my finger.

How in the name of whichever deity is the right one did that happen?

I am somewhat double jointed and can pop my knuckles and bend in all manner of unnatural ways, but to dislocate a finger in a supermarket while putting on a hat is beyond the realms of normality.
Luckily the finger that has now swollen to twice its normal size is not a finger I have any great use for in my day to day activities.

It is not my main pointing finger, nor is it the one I use to pick my nose or scratch my behind.

I do tend to prod my navel with it, but that is a task I can train of the other fingers to perform until my finger is back to it full function.

I will not be trying on any new hats for a while that’s for sure.


  1. OUCH! Whenever anyone mentions stuff like bones breaking or dislocating, I immediately become very squimish and my legs start to shake a little.

    Thanks to your picture showing your current predicament, I almost passed out over my computer keyboard, so thanks for that.

    Seriously though, I really hope that you're not in too much pain and discomfort (though you probably are) and that your finger heals soon. :)

  2. Dude, that's crazy! I've never broken a bone in my life so I can't imagine how crazy it must be

  3. Sue the bastards! They did it on purpose! How diabolical! They design a hat with a fiendish clasp that can dislocate a finger and leave it as bait in a trap for you. I can see them scheming. "Let's get that gibberish guy who confounds the poor old people" I see them say. Don't take it dude! Take your finger to the police.

  4. I did write a long and if I say so myself, a rather good reply on the stupid laptop which despite being in a new house and having been polished and made a fuss of trashed it. O yes that's it with the be nice to laptops now.

    I was making the point that as a left handed person having problems with jumpers because they are always right handed, I end up with them on the wrong way round, and end up looking like an IDIOT. I thought maybe you had a left handed hat and were right handed or vis versa thus the problems with the hands.

    Anyway that was the other day and today I am on old faithful, the PC from the skip so can respond as me and will not not be told. THIS COMPUTER WILL SHUT DOWN IN 15SECS SO SAY GOODBYE TO THE LAST HALF AN HOURS WORK SUCKER.

    Good luck with the move and I hope you have more luck than me finding everything again....... being able to point at stuff will surely help loads

  5. I was seriously expecting you to write a blog post about your love for the hat you found in the supermarket. Your version sounds a lot more entertaining though, yet very painful. I hope you're healing!

    This one time, in Asda, I put my pinky finger, which is relatively slim, through the hole in the handle of a wok. It ended up getting stuck and I had to walk around with it attached to me for a good while, eventually my finger went purple and my friend pulled it off.

    Wild story, I know.

  6. What the Dickens?!

    That's what you get for buying such a goony hat.

    Now you have to walk round with it on, one flap up, one flap down holding your bad finger aloft.

  7. Sorry folks - i think i neglected to say that I didn't actually buy the hat. that would be stupid, its dangerous!
    being a lefty and unnaturally double jointed, i was able to pop the bugger back in its socket, although it went a bit blue and hurt a lot.

    hope that clears things up... i must proof read my mind burps for clarity in future.

    sorry for any confusion. be cool dudes!


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