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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Thursday, 19 July 2012

NOW That's What I call ...Awful

Today saw the arrival, on site, of a pure rock legend from a time when rock was bold and dangerous (see video below) and not just produced by some drag and drop two bit computer program that’s just seems to endlessly loop the same four bars of dross so that the end result is akin to a box load of crockery being thrown into a cement mixer.

And that is the problem isn’t it?

Not to sound like the begrudging old coot that I am becoming, but music today is just awful.

A quick review of the top ten single records for the UK this week tells me that either I am out of touch with popular music or music is tired and boring and has run its course.

Coldplay have done a song with Rihanna (that girl with the umbrella-ella-ella) and Maroon 5 are still knocking about.

Out of the top ten singles half of them are collaborations. Which means that these so called talented artists can’t even be bothered to sing for three and a half minutes with someone else jumping in.

There’s just no effort.

I would make a joke about somebody releasing a song that is just 4 minutes of silence, but that’s already been done. TWICE!

Maybe it is me. Maybe I have reached that age where I need to realise that I no longer part of the young generation.

I’m old enough to remember mix tapes.

I still have an old VHS tape knocking around with MUMS TAPE written on it.

Ask any under the age of 20 if that know what that is and be prepared to feel very VERY old when they just shrug at you and probably shoot up some drugs in their eyeballs at you.

The art of filling one side of a tape with exactly 45 minutes of music was an exercise in timing hand eye co-ordination and taste.

In order to not have the tape run out half way through REAL REAL REAL by Jesus Jones, you would have to carefully work out in which order you put Aerosmith, or Run DMC.
"Can I get a rewind!!!" - Used to involve a pencil and lots of patience in my day.

This is now a talent lost.

These days all you need is one of those M25 players and you can casually drag and drop as many songs in whatever order you want without even thinking about it.

Don’t like a song?

No worries, just skip it and carry on with your day.

In the 1980’s this just was not possible and only even considered in science fiction movies.

If you wanted to skip a song on tape it required knowing exactly how long the song was and having to utilise a technique not to dissimilar to clutch control in order to quickly fast forward, stop and play repeatedly until you got to the right spot.

If you miscalculated and missed the start of the song then the tape would have to be ejected, turned around and played back for a bit, then ejected again, replaced the original way round and played again.

All the while the battery level is being sucked dry.

Of course, if you were posh you would have one of those Walkman’s that had a rewind button to show off.
So the following are five words that anyone under the age of 20 will not understand.


Does anyone know of any other words that bloody kids don’t have any understand of?
If so, please add yours in the comments below.

Its the drummer, by the way.... I guess that stint on TV is starting to pay off!


  1. Hello Mr H.... Yes I agree. Although you did forget to mention the art of checking that with all that flipping your tape, there was no slack (a quick twiddle with a pencil) or the tape was chewed to within an inch of its life. Those old tape machines were little ****** when they got a bit old. I have always wanted a Nakamichi Dragon Cassette Deck, I still would like one, but I feel it will never be now.

    I have an very good friend called Ian Gomm who was a member of Brinsley Schwarz and wrote a few hits for other folk. He is always amused by people saying they have produced this great riff on the computer, it only took a week. He always says why don't you just play it on a guitar or a keyboard it would only take 5 minutes. But it turns out not many can actually play instruments..

    1. Pencils should have come as standard with any multi box of blank tapes.
      todays equivalent is simply to press the back arrow in the top left of the computery screen. - rubbish.

  2. I remember mix tapes. Kids today are really missing out on this type of thing, what with their instant access to music libraries and vast genre arrays.

    I also remember zx spectrums. When you wanted to play a game, the console screamed at you in a nightmarish fashion. Nowadays, the only screaming in games is the bloodied death rattle of an enemy soldier in Call Of Duty. These young 'uns don't know they're born.

    1. I loved my spectrum. the 3 and half hour wait as the psychedelic purple,white and green lines flashed crossed the screen ensuring that any kid with even the slightest suspicion of developing epilepsy would never know the joy of playing Hungry Horace, meant that you could still go out and play OUTSIDE while it loaded.

  3. Oh God, this had me laughing out loud! I remember well the days of the mixed tape and waiting around on Sundays to record my favourite tunes from the Top 40 run down...ahh good times!

    1. If you tried this today, you would be called an internet pirate.
      How good did you get at cutting off Simon Mayo just before he started talking over the last lines of songs? hahaha.

  4. I have tried mesen. I have tried to like the music of today but it is not happening. It could be te souless caterwalling that puts me off; it may be the clear cynisism behind the marketing or perhaps it's the way I know all about Rhianna and her ilk without being asked if I want to. I dunno man but I do know that although wide-reaching, your 'music today is shit' statement is of course concrete.

    I haven't been able to tell you what's at 'number 1' for twenty years or so. Pete Waterman* and other cloth-eared jokes ruined music by making it an 'industry' where the need to play an instrument or be able/have any gumption to write a song became superfluous.

    Now we live in a time where so-called musicians are no longer even required to SING. Talking a bit tunefully. THAT'S THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM! Cherly Cole is known for her lack of any vocal ability and Will.I.Am (real name Graham.I.Am) recently openly admitted he needs to hide his inability behind technology YET PEOPLE STILL WENT OUT AND BOUGHT THEIR SINGLE!

    *Pete Waterman was born in the same decade as John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and George Harrison. At the time of writing Pete Waterman is the only one of these people still alive. Let thst be a lesson to us all...

    1. I've n ever met Pete waterman but I often wonder if he has ever had an opportunity to saved a puppies life. Probably not.
      What a horrible man he might be...


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