I can tell by my Facebook and Twitter feeds that Xfactor is back on. (it could be the other one – Talent Trek or whatever I can’t be bothered to check)
Or to give its full title “Ohnonotthatbloodystupidxfactorrubbishagain.” As it is known in my house.
And so begins the unbelievably long countdown to Christmas.
Within a matter of weeks, if not days, our televisions – which for most of the year have been faithful companions on merriment and mirth and education, will turn upon us all by showering our eyeballs with piss and shitting in our ears with the god awful squeaking of oxygen thieves who know neither how to dress, sing or act appropriately in public mixed with the faux compassion and praise of a panel of what is supposed to be judges.
The judges themselves will start by being sympathetic to those who have wandered in off the street with tales of woe about dead pets and missing mums and, as is the human condition, will very quickly grow weary of the never ending queue of desperation.
The researchers of this show will have done their paymasters proud by segregating the deranged from the mildly talented.
The editing crew will mix in a kaleidoscope of singing ability crossed with egocentric gob shites that will haunt your TV all the way to the end of the year.
The part that really annoys me is when the show changes from a Victorian freak show montage to something that closely resembles the American evangelist churches where you the viewer is urged if not brain washed to VOTE FOR WHO MAKES IT THROUGH TO THE NEXT ROUND. Giving you a sense of ultimate power like some kind of demi-god. When in actual fact you are spending £1.50 to keep a mentally ill person in the lime light when they should be seeking medical and professional help.
I don’t blame Simon Cowell though.
He is just the drug pusher. It’s the idiots who watch this tripe who continue the never ending cycle … giving hope to the hopeless, the continuing free fall into instant gratification and proof that hard work and effort mean nothing if you are prepared to open yourself to ridicule to the nation you too can be famous and end up on celebrity Big Brother.
THIS is now the ultimate pinnacle of the Great British public. The Americans have their dream. Us Brits have an absent minded second thought and dismiss it because some fat lass from Leeds is about to be told she is useless and isn’t worth Simons Cowells time or attention.
I hate Xfactor.
I hate people who watch Xfactor.
I hate people.
I wish I could sing….