About Me

My photo
The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Go Home Superman

There is a new Superman film coming out soon and it got me thinking.

I hate Superman.
Cheer up you misery arse!

I buy the comics and for the most part enjoy reading them. But each time I do I am left with a feeling of anger and hatred.

I’m not a racialist, although it probably sounds like it when I say – I’m sick of comic book space aliens coming to our planet and moping about.

Sure, the guy has been known to save a few people. The odd kid stuck in a car that’s hanging off a bridge for some reason, or daft women who keep falling off the sides of buildings and punching a run away train before it hits the chemical plant down the track (someone really should get a bollocking for that in the planning department).

But for all his “Here I come to save the day…” shenanigans  each and every time he does something useful we are forever bombarded with scenes of him being a bit sad and looking forlorn because… well I don’t really know.

Give it a rest you big girl!
For a guy who can shoot lasers out of his eyes and fly dead fast and has muscles coming out of his hair AND calls himself SUPERMAN - he really is a moaning little shit.

Anyone would think he hated his job or something.

Having a rubbish job, or not being able to get a job - that's when you know you’re going to have issues and a reason to want to sod off at any given moment. Not because you grew up on a farm and had two loving parents (yes, they weren't his birth parents but Ma and Pa Kent loved him just as much) who made sure you wanted for nothing and you have got your very own cape.

It can’t be his job anyway. As a reporter he is forever ducking out of the office at the drop of a hat (or falling victim from a cable car etc) and nobody has ever called him up on it, or made him stay behind to catch up on his deadlines.

Not once in all the comics I’ve read has Superman been called in for a disciplinary meeting due to his constant absence.

Yes he’s been sacked once or twice, but usually it was over other matters and he always came back.

Nobody else has been that lucky.

Even Lois Lane has forgiven him hundreds of times for “forgetting” to meet up on a date. This is a woman who has won Pulitzers and other press related prizes and is often depicted as a hottie and could have any bloke she wants… but OH-NO! Clark Kent gets another chance.

And he’s a fraudster.

I bet he’s claiming some kind of benefits under that false name.

But that doesn’t stop him kicking at the dirt and feeling sorry for himself all the time.

"Boo Hoo! is soooo hard being me" he chose that life. He doesn't have to live a double life if he didn't want to. He’s has the power of a God for…. God’s sake.

Bloody space aliens coming here taking up all our journalistic jobs in made up cities, flying around without a licence without so much of a "Here's some advanced alien technology to wrap yer heads around" or nothing.

What a bloody nerve.

I know why Lex Luthor gets so pissed off with him.
Smiling makes it all better!


  1. I'll be back in the morning to comment Mr H I just need to slip into this telephone box and remove some clothing and slip into a pair of tights and some Lycra.

    No hang on its -5'c out there tonight I will slip into a duvet instead, that runaway train can be stopped by Robin and his mate sod it.

  2. What did happen to my second comment where I had to nip out and slip into some Lycra because something was rolling down a hill with a screaming young girl shouting save my cat. Ok maybe it was not a cat, but I was definitely going to save something.

    Luckily the weather has warmed up a bit and I have been out chopping some wood for the fire, not wearing Lycra however as it appears a man in a pair of tights and tight fitting rubber clothes waving an axe at passing motorists as they wolf whistle appears to attract the notice of the local police. Smiling as it happens at the police did not help, and neither tights or Lycra are Taser proof as I found out.

    All in All though Mr H you are right about that Superman.

    Did you know that I was . ...... 'Not-Superman' . . . on Facebook for a while until I was told that I could not be Not-Superman because Not-Superman was a real person and did not like me being Not-superman so I got ZAP . . .POWWWWed so I am not a fan of Not Superman as well as not a fan of Superman

  3. I'm pretty sure I met that last guy at a Roller Disco Derby in 1985...just saying.

    I like my comics a little on the dark side. (Neil Gaiman rocks!) I mean come on, a man dressed in Lycra, with his under crackers showing and wearing a red cape...actually that sounds like someone else I met at the Roller Disco Derby in 1985.


How did this get here?