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Monday, 18 February 2013

What Ever Happened To Him Off The Tele?

Richard Briers has passed away. 

RIP - Mr Briers

 He is not the only famous name to pass away in recent years.

There have been many others.

This has led me to think about a thought I had quite recently involving famous people and  celebrities.

The thought was this: are we running out?

The answer is: I think we are.

Celebrity DNA
Far superior than  ours.

Celebrities are dying out at an alarming rate. Some estimates rate their decline to be almost as fast as the tiger or dragon.

There simply are not enough celebrities being born in the wild. Think about it. When was the last time you heard of a famous person being born?

Princess Kate is tubbed up as we all know, but beyond her when is the next one due?

By the time our future queen shits a baby out of her tummy there will probably be a good dozen famous deaths across the world.

Within our life time celebrities could become extinct.

Zoologists and scientists (them again) have tried in vain to breed celebrities in captivity. Most famously with televised experiments such as Big Brother and Dancing On Ice and the like, unfortunately due to the already dwindling supply of grade A celebrity genes, they have had to rely on lesser forms of commonly recognised names and faces.

Even with advent of four ITV channels spewing endless talent shows for the mentally malnourished, or any piss weak vehicle for Peter Andre to gurn his way through (note Andre is an anomalous creature who WAS famous for singing ONE song then became un-famous for a few years and then slept with a woman who breasts are more famous than she is and he became famous again) and even the tireless efforts of the morons who came up with the idea of following gypsies around for a bit are unable to repopulate celebrity livestock for any sustainable amount of time.
"If you want to be famous,
you'll have to lower  your right arm love.."

It has got the point where those in charge of repopulating the celebrity gene pool have resorted to classing none famous people as famous because they were accidently put in celebrity shows in a bid to make the lesser celebrity feel more important.

The repopulation of the celebrity world has become so diluted that some have been forced to adopt. Elton John, Brad Pitt etc. these mega celebrities are now unable to prepopulate their clans and have had to seek outside help.

This does solve the problem in the short term as their children become famous automatically but there is no guarantee that these offspring will stay famous as they mature.

If something is not done the DNA sequence that separates the mighty and great celeb will become so diluted with lesser forms of famousness that we are in danger of not having any recognisable names and faces for our future generations to admire, follow, sleep with, bribe or stalk.

Is this TOO little TOO late?
The problem of course, is that very few people have done anything worth y of being celebrated. The essence of being a celebrity is that you have done something worthy of praise.

Taking your clothes off, texting a footballer or singing badly is not in itself a reason to expect others to revere you in some god like state.

Being good at something however – does. Be it sport, art or changing the world in some way for the better should be enough to allow one to become a celebrity. Unfortunately being good isn't enough as our tastes have become so macabre and masochistic that nothing short of the most depraved acts of self worthlessness and desperation are enough to keep our interest for more than five minutes.

Fly by night one hit wonders do not a celebrity make. Nor does a lady without her vest on.

What we need are hero’s.


What we have is Ashley Cole and some prick named Dappy. 
I have no idea and desire to know
who or what you think you are.

We are screwed!


  1. Celebrities aren't in danger of dying out, they're just evolving at an alarming rate. With the advent of Geordie Shore, Made In Essex and The Only Way Is TOWIE (or whatever the hell they're called), celebrities are becoming an army of Terracotta Warriors. Bleached skin, sculpted drones without original thought or acquired skills.

    1. But as ask - Are they WORTH celebrating or should we throw poo at them? I know what my answer would be.

  2. Hello Mr H did I hear you needed a hero . . . . As it happens I agree celebs are not what they were in the old days but there are too many media outlets I think in the old days of cinema, all celebs were film folk like Clarke Gable and Dorothy Lamour James Dean and the like. But well the likes of Youtube and multi channel television have ensured that we are now all equal, however sadly it is only the total idiots who appear on all these media options. No one actually wishes to learn anything that might take more than ten minutes so we are left with a situation where a dog can win Britain's got talent (I'm sure a dog won I don't watch these things so I could be wrong). My own view is that if a dog has more talent you then you can not be a celeb.

    I for one will remain here in cyberspace where I am revered as a genius a man amongst men a cult so cultish that I am known only to those that know me. Where I am treated as a God. . . only two little old ladies come to see me on Sundays.

    1. If there was a church of Rob I would sign up to the monthly news letter. I would even pop along to a coffe morning or two and drop off some unwanted items for a carboot sale or something.
      But don't harrass me for money though. Thats not church is about.

  3. This post is absolute genius! That is all. :)

    1. You are a very astute young lady. I've always said that about you. ahaha. Thanks Lil. :)


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