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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Thursday, 14 March 2013

The Results Are In (finally)

The results are in.

I didn't do very well.

Or to put it another way – you lot are just as rubbish at picking horses as I am.

The racing results from Tuesday (including one from today because the race was abandoned due to bad weather) have been finalised and I am too ashamed to show you my final balance but suffice to say it looks as healthy as a one eyed three legged puppy with the mange. 

All together I have won a total of £1.08 from £1.46 of bets resulting in a loss of 38p.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I only bet in pennies and not pounds or even more.

38 pence has allowed me to dream, just for one moment, of winning big and beating the odds. I didn’t beat the odds, but I had the chance.

I could have won £102 but I will take the £1.08 because that is £1.08 more than nothing.

“Ah! But Bumf, if you hadn’t bothered to put the bet on in the first place you wouldn’t have lost anything.” I hear you say… and you would be right.

But then I wouldn’t have had the chance to win anything and ultimately THAT is what is important.

I think?

Anyway, I hope this little experiment has shown you that gambling is for idiots. Idiots like me.

I strongly urge you all not to get into betting because there is only ever one winner – the bookie.

Maybe I should start being a bookie. I’ve got a flat cap already so I’m half way there.

*insert sad face*


  1. I prefer the title 'Turf Accountant'. It is to my ear - for some bizarre reason - extremely funny.

    1. Yes. That would have been a funnier title. But on reflection, if I do funny titles, folks might start expecting some sort of comedy when they click the link. There is enough disappointment in my life already as it is with out causing any more for the good folks who read this.

  2. Hahaha!(quickly tries to stifle laughter) I'm so sorry Mr H but at least you tried. And isn't the trying more important then not trying at all? I can imagine you uttering a cuss word right now.:)

  3. Don't blame me, I voted for horses with euphemistic names. There's no way that those horses would have lost, what with all the extra physical training.

  4. I would say that looking at this positively you did not choose the wrong horses you just chose the wrong race. After all they must win something or to put it bluntly we would have eaten by now.

    I am not a fan of horses they turned the head of that nice Steven Spielberg when he was looking for a new film idea. It was me or the horses you know and they took him for a ride in my opinion. Bloody Black Beauty and his mate Silver.


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