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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Sunday, 30 June 2013

Man of Steel - A Reiew

The other day I went a watched The Man of Steel which is the latest version of the Superman franchise.
What I saw deserves it’s 6/10 rating.

From here on in there are spoilers – if you want to watch the film and find out for your self STOP READING NOW.

For everyone else who has already seen it, or is too tight fisted to pay the admission fee, read on.

Henry Cavill is the latest chap to play the iconic role of Superman. For what is possibly the most boring of all superheroes he does a decent job of keeping the audience interested.

The story of Man of Steel is a re-boot of the origins of Superman. A story that really does not need telling. Everybody in the whole world must, by now, know who Superman is, where he comes from, and what he is all about.

But just in case anybody had walked into the cinema and suffered a blow to the head from a massive bag of sweetened popcorn thus loosing very particular memories of comic book hero's, this is really not necessary.

Krypton is doomed, shit blows up and a baby is blasted to the stars to land on Earth.

This 18 word sentence sums up the back story of Superman, but for some reason requires multiple flashbacks showing Russell Crowe and his huge mole (do not watch this film in 3-D, I’m glad I didn’t!) walking up and down being a bit moody, but not angry or sad.

He gets killed to death by the baddie and then about 85-90% of the special effects budget is spent on blowing the bejeezus out of a world that doesn’t exist.

We, the audience, is then allowed to skip the most important aspects of Superman (now called Clark Kent) growing up, showing him discovering his powers and being taught “with great power come great…” oh wait – wrong superhero.

What we are treated to is Kevin Costner telling young Clark “NOT TO USE HIS POWERS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES”.

There is even a scene where Clark is getting a good telling off from his adopted Dad and he asks “Should I have just let all those kids drown in that bus?

I kid you not that the answer that comes back from old Kev is “Well…. Yea… I mean…um..
GOOD GOD! Old Pa Kent is really made out to be a nobhead in this film.

Time and time again in the flashback sequences we are treated to Kevin Costner bollocking this demi-god (whose iconic image is ham fistedly smashed with that of a certain son of God so many times through the film I started to feel like I was being brainwashed to join some sort of cult) that I stated to hate Kevin quite a bit. 

Not the character, but Kevin himself.

Stop being a Dave about everything Kevin, I thought to myself on more than one occasion.

Thankfully Kevin jumps in front of a tornado for no apparent reason and Clark is allowed to become the hero is was born to be.

Before he can do that though a certain Lois Lane pops down to Antartica in a MINI SKRIT!! (honestly) to look at a spaceship.

Clark is there too and it flies off and blah blah blah.

The baddies come along from somewhere… I forget how it happened… and it all kicks off.

Pretty much everything is smashed to bits – which is a good thing – and after waiting for over a hour we are treated to some very sub par special effects.

The fight scene with ZOD and Superman is long and enjoyable, but most of the effects are really laughable and seemed rushed. Supes cape more than anything looks stupid when he is punching and flying into buildings.

On a side note there a number of easter eggs/nods to the DC universe throughout the film.

Most noteable is the LEXCORP logos through the film, which is a good nod to Lex Luthor.

There is also a very VERY brief glimpse at a logo for a certain Wayne Enterprises near the end of the film.

This is the reason I am giving this film six out of ten.

I very nearly gave it more but rules is rules and the crap special effects allow me to safely reduce the score.


  1. Hello Mr H I don't really do films, I am sure I have said that before but I feel it is good to re-enforce the point just so folk know. I don't think catapulting the manuscript of my diary through Steven Spielberg's window really counts. . . .

    Anyway enough of that, I was pleased to see you have managed to maintain a nice 6/10 again and from what I read it appears you are spot on, yet again. I did get rather excited at one point when you mentioned a Mole, I thought WOW a pet mole is it a huge rampant superhuman mole with secret powers that enable it to bore huge holes under buildings and the like. Sadly I don't know what happened to the mole because no sooner had you mentioned him when he appears to have vanished from the story, unless Zod is the mole; it is after all a good name for a mole.

    I would call my pet mole Zod if I had one. . . .

    What ever happened to Moleman anyway

    1. He was last seen knocking around pitches 61-64 on the campsite. Alan the moleman (not to be confused with Moleman) caught him a few weeks ago so I have not heard from him since.

      I'm sure with all your digging there's no need for moles. Unless you could train them to dig out some zombie trenches. Then you could hire him out to dig other Zombie trenches for your neighbours and everyone can be safe from the coming apocalypse.

  2. I was so disappointed with Ironman 3 even thought I'm a HUGE fan.

    1. The Ironman films never quite live up to the original. But when watched a second time they really are very good films. Worthy of a strong 6 out of ten any day of the week.

  3. I'm too lazy to go to the cinema (yes, I really am this lazy), so it's nice to see a honest review. I'm just very bored of superhero movies, they all seem to bleed into one another and become the same slushy liquid on screen.

    How was the soundtrack? The soundtrack in the trailer sounded so good; it was the only reason I felt some embers of curiosity for the film.

    1. The soundtrack passed me by to be honest. The only trailer I have watched had the music from Black Lace over the top, so all the way through the film I kept thinking "Comb your hair....go for a walk...SWIM!"

      If you have never heard the Black Lace song - you really are missing one the gems from the 1980's.

      Here's a link just in case.


  4. Hello Mr H I know this is not like me and it is a bit out of the blue but I have given you an award. It is one of the regular awards only I tweaked it a tiny bit . . . . Do come and have a wee peek . . . . . . you know you want toooooo.

    Its a 6/10 award for sure.


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