About Me

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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Ten Facts About Me.

279 posts ago I started this blog with very thought, plot, ideas and very little effort.

Nothing much has changed.

But over the past few years we have gotten to know a little bit about each other. Today though I would like to share 10 facts about ME.

All these facts are absolutely true.

- I am left handed.

- Rodger Federer had NEVER beaten me at tennis.

- I once did the London marathon without any preparation or exercise.

- I have appeared on TV twice and the radio once.

- I once stole a packet of Polo mints from a shop but felt too guilty to eat them and gave them to all my friends.

- I never smile on photographs for fear of being run over.

- I once stalked a dwarf through the streets of Oslo because there was nothing else to do.

- I was once (and only once unfortunately) sexually assaulted by the actress Christine Bottomley in a bar in Manchester.

- Over the years I have had no hair, blue hair and the hair of a Lion, but not necessarily in that order.

- I once spent 4 hours stood outside Buckingham Palace giving the wrong directions to tourists.(that's how I did the marathon... I was a steward. I'm not daft enough to go running round London for no reason... what do think I am? stupid or something??!!!?!?!)

So there you have it. 

10 facts that could have stretched out into a number of posts. 

Thinking about it, Maybe I should have done a series of confessional posts.... people love that don't they? Filthy dirt about people who they will never meet or know in real life? 


I tell you what...don't read any of the above... It'll spoil the next ten posts I do!



  1. I too am left handed. . . . left handed people are apparently genius's but are also modest so very few people know this.

    I also never smile on Photographs because I am grumpy. folk talking photos of me also makes me grumpy.

    I was once driven through the gates of Buckingham Palace in a big posh fancy car and folk waved at us thinking we must be famous. . . . I am not famous.

    I was once with my uncle driving slowly through the Scottish mountains when who should end up right behind us trying to get past but the Queen (she was not actually driving). My Uncle slowed down and being a true lefty and Welsh sang the Ref Flag at the top of his voice. We dont think she heard him because we got a Royal wave and a smile. (Hang on how many fingers are in a Royal wave).

    I worked as a tea blender in a factory making tea bags for a very short time (needs must and all that), but I know nothing about blending tea.

    I sound like I am from the South of England but an a Scot from Aberdeen. No one in Scotland believes me except my family and they are suspicious and think i may be a Zombie imposter.

    I famously never finish anything particularly DIY or making lists of 10 interesting points.

    1. Damn! your list is far more interesting than mine...... I suspect everyone is more interesting than me.... I must do something very exciting and on the edge within the next week or two and prove that I am not as boring as I think I am!


    2. Dont be rash Mr H and dont get a rash Mr H particularly an interesting one, they are the worst kind.

  2. Left handed people are also creative. I am right handed...nuff said.

    I once dressed up as Carmen Miranda and hassled the drivers on the Woolwhich Ferry for 5 hours in the name of charity, which then culminated in a sponsored pub crawl from Greenwhich to London Bridge. (That was a bloody long walk)

    I don't smile for the camera for fear that it will steal my soul...or crack.

    I met songstress Kylie Monogue once. She was so small that I was tempted to pick her up and put in her my jacket pocket.

    When the Queen opened up a new community center in my area, all the mums stood there as her car passed by and gave her a royal wave...using only two fingers. I was about 10 at the time and it was the funniest thing that I had seen, what was supposed to be responsible adult women do.

    I used to have a red Mohawk.

    I also read about a guy who was once sexually assaulted by the actress Christine Bottomley in a bar in Manchester, but who neglected to mention that fact until the end of his post.

    1. We get Red Kites round these parts Miss Lily. . . .

    2. Has everybody met the Queen apart from me?

      What's her bloody problem? Is she a snob or something....

      This is becoming more than just simple coincidence.

      Does the Queen read any of our blogs?.... Obviously not mine because she hates me for some reason.

  3. I have now been forced to Google Christine Bottomley as I dont have a clue who she is, all I know about her is she leapt on Mr H in a bar. I still dont know who she is having Googled her but she was taught at the The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland . . . but I dont know it she is a Yes supporter or a No, Bearing in mind what you say Mr H she sounds like she might be a Yes sort of girl.

    Ooooo I should have mentioned I was once dispatched to take a photo of the Queen in our local town and took a picture of the wrong person. It took some time to get over the sniggering of folk sniggering at me. . . . But all those ladies in waiting confused me. This was in the pre digital era and proper pics from Boots.

    1. She is on a show about hospitals, a drama or something... Mrs H watches it.. not me.

      I'll stick a video up of her in her "pre-touchy touchy" days and pop it on G+ so you can keep your eye for her wandering hands.

    2. Just for a few seconds I thought you were referring to the Queen.


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