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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Sunday, 21 June 2015

The Return of The Man Himself

'Ow do.

It's me. Good old Bumf

Friend to all (except Dave*), master of nothing and the guy everyone points at when the proverbial hits the fan.

I've been away, which explains the lack of posts over the past month or three but now I'm back and guess what?

I'm bloody annoyed.

I had worked out this brilliant post, as my major come back, I was going to write about how dentists are all crooks and my theory that they only insist you need a filling or root canal when they need to put a deposit down for a nice three week holiday in the Caribbean.

There was going to be made up graphs and charts to prove my my made up facts but now, thanks to real life, it's all gone belly up!

I was all ready to put in some REALLY funny pictures and made up quotes that would have won me awards and the accolade of bloggers everywhere when the chuffin' newspapers went and spilt the beans like the phone hacking swines that they are.

So my triumphant return will not be about that. 

Then I was going to write about how I was suffering from a very painful ingrowing toe nail, but I managed to rip the bugger out with some very strange looking devices I bought on line... now the swelling has died down now, and my big toe isn't quite as black as it was.... so that seems pointless.

Nor will it be about the long awaited results of my football betting as it appears that FIFA have been playing pass the parcel with brown envelopes of money and I don't need the FBI snooping through my sock draw looking for bungs, bribes and bubblegum.

Sepp Blatter really knows how to wind me up.

Instead I shall save the results for next weeks post.... yea, I'm doing more posts. I am hoping to get back on the ol' blogging horse and she how she rides**.

So between then and now, please feel free to congratulate me on my magnificent return to the world of Thoughtless Gibberish and how much I have been missed and how the days now seem just that little bit brighter and the future appears a little less bleak now that I have decided to stop being such a lazy git and get my writing THANG back on.

In the coming weeks I shall be breaking hearts, promises and wind on a regular basis come Hell or high water***

*I hate Dave

**I'll probably get piles again!

*** please note that in the event of flooding I may not be able to get a wifi signal and shall be sending out posts via courier.


  1. Pleased to see you back Mr H . . . . Its quiet at present in the world of blogging, well it is for me so I hope you fair better. I have even suffered that Writers Block thing and although it looks like I wrote a load for someone with Writers Block it reached its peak last night. Yes last night for the first time ever I deleted the post I was planning to post on the grounds it was rubbish. . . . I know I have published some terrible stuff so it must have been bad.

    It is therefore grand to see a chirpy Mr H back in cyberspace telling us of the terrible deeds of dentists and toads (sorry toes) and you have been greatly missed so i congratulate you on your magnificent return to the world of Thoughtless Gibberish and the world is indeed a little less bleak if I dont look at your toe or go to the dentist.

    When you say away, have you been away as in Ooooo look they walls have padding and how come the door is locked or as in its a fair cop officer bang me up, I confess it was him over there . . .AH damn the door is locked.

    1. It's been so long I can't remember where I have been or what I have done, although I have fuzzy memories of sharing soup with comedian Stewart Lee and voting in the elections and dealing with a holiday complaint (currently have ANTA involved in that fiasco).
      All in all its been quite busy in my world.

  2. Congratulations on your magnificent return to the world of Thoughtless Gibberish. You have been missed and the days now seem just that little bit brighter and the future appears a little less bleak now that you have decided to stop being such a lazy git and get your writing THANG back on.

    It's been far too quiet without you Mr H. Let chaos and disorder reign once more.

    1. You're quite right Lily - Well done me. Although it has taken a good 6 minutes for this page to load on my laptop meaning I will have to raid my piggy bank and buy a new one as the thing I can think of doing to repair this heap of junk is to throw it in the microwave on full blast.... it wont even show the words when im typing so I don't know if any of this is working!


      chaos and disorder shall be dished out in bucket loads!!!!!


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