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Friday, 1 January 2016

Preditions for 2016

The following are my predictions for the coming year.

We shall review this list at the end of the year so see just how amazingly brilliant I am.

Here we go:

  • The leader of the Labour party, Jeremy Corbyn will be caught stealing bins from an estate in east London. It will become known as "Bingate" by the tabloid press as they have no imagination.

  • Some daft-as-a-brush celebrity, probably a singer or one of those presenters off the One Show, will be caught with their pants down after advocating the benefits of eating broken glass as the "must know" diet of 2016.

  • MC Hammer will re-release You can't Touch This before the end of the year... and it will be awesome.

  • The Daily Mail will proclaim the following items give you cancer;
  • potatoes,
  • white bread,
  • brown bread,
  • coconuts,
  • sponges,
  • blue ink,
  • wolves,
  • paper clips,
  • Tuesday afternoons,
  • Reading out loud,
  • wool,
  • cat food,

  • Some kind of weather event will become a record breaker. It could be rain or snow or wind or sunshine.... one of those.

  • Grey hair will be in fashion (I hope so anyway....)

  • Popular music will be significantly more dire in 2016 than it was in 2015 or 2014.

  • Children will be dumber than ever.

  • Bombs will be dropped, some of them on purpose.

  • In general, things will make less sense than ever.

  • Katie Hopkins and Donald Trump will duet together in a concert for peace that bring about a new harmonious age for mankind.

  • Your missing keys will be found under a newspaper on the kitchen table.

So, there you go.

My list of some of the things that may very well happen in the next 12 months.

Fingers crossed eh!


  1. I have not seem many lists yet this year Mr H but this one will take some beating. To tell the truth I can not see a single thing on that list that is not a dead certain going to happen event of 2016. I mean if I was a betting man a would have an each way bet on bombs falling both on purpose and by accident and both in the right and wrong places.

    I did look at the word Bingate and had the image of him singing White Christmas outside a log cabin out in the mountains, but even I know Jeremy Corbyn is more of a rap artist rather than a nineteen forties romantic ballad sort of chap.

    1. The Corbyn Rap - Could be a Xmas number one (if he lasts that long!)

  2. The Daily Mail will proclaim all those things and then a week later, tell us how good they are for us.

    1. I was sorting out the papers in the shop this morning, putting the supplements in, and what did I spy at the bottom of page 2 of the Mail? "SUGAR CAUSES BREAST CANCER".
      DAMN, I forgot sugar.... but they are starting off with a running start (which will probably cause bum rot or anal prolapse or something dire).

      What an age we live in.


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