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Monday, 28 February 2011

Footballers and Dictators who's the biggest dick?

I've been wanting to do blog piece about the potential similarities between footballers and political dictators for ages but never really had a good reason. then WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! blah,blah, blah, here's a blog....

Subject one:

Name: Ashley Cole

Age: 30

Occupation: Full time kicker of a ball

Famous for: His flamboyant outfit for that lottery advert and hanging around glamorous females – oh yes, and football.

Why is he in the news?: Previously he was famous for being a new face on the football scene, more recently he has been caught (literally) with his pants down, cheating on his wife and this week – oh yes and this week shooting a young man with an air rifle.

Subject two:

Name: Muammar Gaddafi

Age: 10,000 years old judging by the look on his face.

Occupation: Mental ruler of Libya

Why is he in the news?: Famous for his flamboyant outfits hanging round with female bodyguards and NOT playing football.

Why is he in the news?: Previously he was famous for toppling the royal family in Libya in 1969, more recently he has been caught (metaphorically) with his pants down, as his whole country tries to overthrow him from power – oh yes and this week sending his army in shoot a load of his own people.

Who is the biggest twat?:

Ashley Cole is paid £120,000 per week for kicking a ball.
The question is not is Ashley Cole, because anyone who makes demands to paid that amount of money without being able to save lives or fly, is indeed a massive twat. But how crazy are Chelsea to pay that much money for one man to move a ball in one direction?

Apart from that he cheated on his wife “babe” Cheryl Cole. Who is very pretty indeed, but is a Geordie and therefore is not sexy in any way whatsoever, especially when she opens her gob to talk.

Gaddafi on the other hand has ordered his army to fire on his own people and has today been on the TV claiming that there are no protests and anyone who has been shot are simply not Libyans but foreigners who are high on drugs supplied by al-Qaeda.

By process of tossing a coin I have deduced the following:

Gaddafi is the bigger fruit-cake, but Ashley Cole is the biggest Dickhead.

That's my oppinion.

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1 comment:

  1. How do you know Gaddafi doesn't play football? One of his sons is a fair player, so they probably had a kick around when he was a boy. If Cheryl Cole offered to sleep with Gaddafi if he quit, that would make things even.


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