About Me

My photo
The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Another 998 words of sweary ranting

It is the very merry month of May and the sun is still shinning down on Gods green Earth and everyone is happy because life is good.

Or at least it would be were it not for the fact I have had to write yet another 998 words of pure bile and anger brought on by the utter madness and stupidity of you.... well, not you personally but you the human race. You and your lot.

I don’t if it's possible to be racist against the whole population of the human race, but i for one am bloody well willing to give a go.

I thought things were supposed to get easier as we all march through time on our merry way toward the welcoming embrace of death.

Apparently not.

And although the sun still shines and the sky is still blue and the bills are still there to be paid each month we roll forever forward, hitting our collective heads into a glass door. Because as a species, humans are dumb as fuck.

With so much happening over the past week, from royal weddings and 3D films and the shooting of Bin Laden, a monumental event has passed the eyes of the whole world.

Up until now, only a very small select amount of people were privy to the information I am about to bestow upon you, my faithful and loyal blog readers (or those who found this by accident – welcome by the way)


It’s quite easy, in the heat of the moment, to say something that you will later come to regret and unfortunately that moment has come for someone that we all know and in some way hold close to our hearts in one form or another.

Issue 900 of action comics see everyone favourite super hero Superman, tell a U.S. government official that he no longer wishes to be known as an American.
Two days later – in the real world – Osama Bin Laden is shot in the left eye and he is killed to death.

I do believe in the words of today’s youth the correct phrase of turn would be

“aah! Soop-a man, you is like, well not cool init? Y’getme? You is like from anova planet orsumink an tha’ yea? If yo fink that not been a yank is cool or nuthin’ ygetme? Cos I is like all over your face yea? An you beta stop lookin’ a’ my woman yea? Cos she aint even there to be looked at yea? Yo bitch!”

I think that is the gist of what a hooded youth would declare to the world greatest comic book character – if he were real.

Thankfully he is not real. Superman and his alter ego Clark Kent are both fictional characters from both comic books and films.

This very important fact did not, however, stop the worlds press from reporting this FICTIONAL STORY as fact reference BBC news http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13237795

Or here http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/306154

The reports themselves are all very tongue in cheek, but the comments that are put at the bottom are a wonder of the human psyche.

“Sounds great until it is the same old thing with a brand new name. With someone else on top, and everyone else on bottom. When everyone is equally in squalor. I never realized Supes was a Commie, I guess the Brave New World needs more soldiers, even the fake, propaganda based ones.”

Reads one.

Here’s another:

"Point: The UN is not a government, it is a joke. Example from recent headline: Despite Reports of Brutality Toward Civilians, Syria to Join U.N.'s Human Rights Council
So why have Superman Renounces U.S. Citizenship? ...Middle Class Americans, who will see this as another slap in their face at a time when Americans are looking for heroes. We have them. The men and women of our Armed forces. Our police officers. Our firefighters. So many great teachers. These folks are proud to be Americans. Far too many have paid in blood for our freedom.
Enjoy the world Superman."

These are just two examples of opinions from people who live on the same world as you and me, who breathe the same air. Who look in the sky and see the same sun beaming down on them, and yet with the greatest respect to God or Allah or whatever created all of existence, somebody royally fucked up allowing so many massive idiots loose on the world all at once.

It’s bad enough that people want to terrorise each other (and do it poorly) it’s a shame that folks can’t get along and it’s understandable that countries have different points of view on ecclesiastical matters. And I for one embrace the fact that as a species we just can’t get along.

It makes for good TV.

But my goodness, when people spouting gibberish over a comic book....

The mind boggles.

On another note, since when did the world start referring to Bin Laden as Osama?
Why are we all using his first name all of a sudden? I didn’t receive any formal notice that bad guys should be referred to by their first name?

What next “did you fight Adolf in the war grandpa?”

“Nope. I fought HITLER!”

The world is an idiot.

And thus begins a new age in being fed up with everything and taking it out on you lot here.

Carry on being stupid.

And if you are wondering if there really are 998 words on this blog, i have two points to make.

One: how very dare you not believe me, I am a made up man of my word.

And secondly: just because I have had to add this little explanation to make to exactly 998 words does not belittle the fact that there are - and a promise made is promise worth keeping so stick that up you pipe and

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure if it's because I'm currently drunk this wonderful Friday night that I actually LOL'd at the whole "Why are we all using his first name all of a sudden? " part.

    But it's funny, funny, funny :)


How did this get here?