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Man was created before Woman so He
build a shoe rack for Her!
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And Lo with much gnashing of teeth and with mighty curse words aimed toward the Heavens, the big bulky bookcase was erected for all the world to see. For generations to come, man and woman and beast would set their eyes upon this obelisk of wonder and ask "Is it meant to lean to one side like that?"
Verily, for there is no other reason to say verily, a woman who bares the initials Mrs H shall stand before the work of one man and she shall see the hard work and effort and toil that has been spent these past days and nights alone and with hands on hips shall say "I want it over there."
And man shall sigh the deepest of sighs and lift the dislocated fingers from a few posts ago and say "but it hurts still." and the woman known as Mrs H shall laugh a laugh of laughter and declare "fine" which every man knows to mean - it is not fine at all.
Days shall turn to just under a week and Man shall write on his blog that he has put up the bookcases and the sofa and the TV all by himself and the dog shall sleep on the floor.
But the dog does not understand that he is the servant and man is the master and shall jolly well sleep where the dogs wants to sleep, which always under the man’s feet.
Here in ends the tale. But be forewarned that of the coming of the time when new carpets will be ordered and everything will have to be moved again for the carpet fitter shall come and so it is written that bruised finger or no bruised finger man shall forever more be the one to do the heavy lifting and get the blame for any marks on the wall, even if they were there already and you can't actually see them anyway unless someone points them out and you look really, really close.
Amen.
Well done lad. You sit down and have a cup of tea.
ReplyDeleteLOOOL! That was bloody hilarious!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Bumferry Hogart!
Having been temporarily killed off by BT, I am Back. I have said I am back a few times now so it must be true. I have read your tale of the mighty bookcase with much interest as we too venture forth to IKEA tomorrow to obtain a bookcase.
ReplyDeleteHaving lots of books and no bookcase is a problem; all the shelves were of a fitted variety in the old house, leaving our books homeless within our new home. Tip of the day must be; never make fitted shelves as they take time and cost money but add no value to your house. And you then spend more money replacing the bookcase and shelves for all those things you don't need. Apparently this is know as capitalism and the recession is a direct response to the modern trend to not filling your house with bookcases and shelves which then need filling.
Apparently the modern trend is to turn the house into a home cinema with a huge screen and surround sound, and bugger all else. Anyway I am rambling (no not walking the highways and byways, the other rambling).
Hope the move was a great success. You will be finished just in time to fill the house with a huge Christmas tree and festive spirit.
I don't know what I have said now ....... keep up the good work Mr H. I refer to the DIY HA HAH HAH HAH HAh hahah hahah h ahahh hah hahah hahahaha hahaha