About Me

My photo
The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Wednesday, 28 March 2012


It seems that my blog is not reaching the powers that be.

For some reason people think its absolutely fine to act like chumps and be greedy. In a time where people are loosing their jobs and homes due to the global economic face palm, there are those in power (yes unions I’m looking at you) who think now is the best time to demand more money when there is none to go around.

Warning: right wing paragraph approaching....

I’ve previously mentioned my loathing of unions on this blog, but here we are again. if unions used their clout when nurses were struggling with MRSA and patients were dying in the corridors I would have been right behind them, but unfortunately they only chose to flex their muscle when it comes to pensions and increasing wages so they can ask for more charges to part of their little bully clubs.*

Um.. sorry about that...

In the news today some bunch of truck drivers have seen the good weather and decided that now would be a good time to lie in the sunshine reading the daily star eating a Greggs pasty while wolf-whistling at underage girls and have a strike rather than bothering going into work meaning that petrol stations won’t get their regular delivery of fuel as normal.

It’s amazing that people decide the only action available to them is to have time off work when there’s a bank holiday looming.

But what’s even more amazing is the fact the general public flush their common sense down the toilet and go straight into panic mode without thinking things through.

So with a  heavy sigh *sigh* I hereby offer this free advice to every idiot and bubble head out there in the hopeless effort to stop the Great British public from doing something stupid and end swallowing their tongue.

Step one: when the news or more importantly the papers tell you a strike is imminent, try to work out if there are any other important news stories of the day – i bet you £20 there isn’t.

Step two: this refers directly to the current “fuel crisis”. Do you actually NEED fuel? If the answer is yes, then you are an idiot. Why have you not got enough fuel to last you until the end of the week? If I’ll bet you another £20 that you have got tea bags or biscuits in your cupboard. Go and check. – yes you have haven’t you.

If you do have enough fuel skip straight to step six.

Step three: if you actually need fuel, go and get some. But think before you go. Where are the nearest petrol stations to you? Find at least two or three that are near each other and not the main supermarket ones. That’s where everyone else will be. Try the little independent ones. Nobody ever uses them and therefore they are less likely to have queues. They may be more expensive but tough titties you need fuel.

Step four: if you find yourself in a queue for petrol, turn off your engine and the radio. Don’t sit there wasting fuel. Also don’t drive with your radio on and the windows down with the air conditioning blasting all the dust off your dashboard.

Step five: keep calm. Don’t beep your horn or drive like a cock. It wont get you anywhere other than a hospital waiting room with a suspected heat attack or a broken nose (depending on if the woman in front of you is having one of her monthly issues and belts you one)

Step six: drive safely and don’t act like a nob. I’ve said it already in this list, but it really does need saying. If you act like ass you will get your just deserts and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.
Step seven: please send your £40 in cash to theussual address where I will use it to buy loads of diesel.... I’m desperate!

*If you are pro-union, please dont take this personally. Unions DO have their place but they dont seem to use their power in a way that benefits anyone. We all have to work together - NOT strike together. Nothing gets done that way. 

Carry on.


  1. Dam Mr H cant we all panic and scream and stuff and run about like demented looneys after all we are going to run out of water too and Easter eggs and sun hats. I blame the Queen she is stock piling everything for her big party in June.

  2. That is possibly the most accurate conspiracy I've heard this week Rob. I shall wipe the dust of my Fedora and go sleuth it out....

  3. It's said that our so-called civillization is only ever a couple of days and two meals away from barbarism. I love to watch all the joyless goons rushing to forecourts like it matters. If petroleum runs out you'll have more to worry about than keeping your 1.6 litre Generico 5000 on the road.

    See you in the Thunder Dome.

    1. THE THUNDER DOME! This does mean that Ms Turner will rule us all.

      Saying that, They are making a new Mad Max so..um ... make of that what you will.

  4. It still baffles me why the media stirred this up so much.
    The union would have to give 7 days notice of action and suddenly it's as if the whole country will grind to a halt.


How did this get here?