A WORD OF WARNING ON THIS POST:
Geddit? |
Here we go.
Working on a campsite can be quite rewarding.
Working in the great outdoors, the sunshine, happy people on
holiday giving me money… it all adds up to a great way to spend your days.
However, sometimes it gets ruined by certain types.
I don’t mind the angry people, in the end they always loose.
The sort of people who get very close to ruining my day are
the sort I like call Cheeky Bastards.
I know how she feels. |
The correct response to this moronic statement is “Well, I
need a wage rise to put with this sh*t!”
That usually works to encourage to a coronary heart attack,
but if said with enough venom can really put some numpties in their place,
especially when you remind them that you have access to their name address and
bank details.
The other sort of fool who gets up my nose is the sort of CB
who thinks absolutely fine to DEMAND a discount or favour while offering
nothing in return.
These come in many shapes and forms. Most want to borrow my
best screwdriver or other tools to do something they were not designed to be
used for resulting in a broken hammer or missing drill bits.
Others have the nerve to ask for a discount.
Two examples of these can be found in the experiences I had
on both Sunday and Monday (this evening).
Picture the scene if you will… PICTURE IT…
Yummy! |
It is the unmistakable shadow of an ice-cream van.
“hmm…” I thought to myself internally. “We don’t have an
ice-cream van coming to the site.”
Instinct takes over and heroically, much like Indiana Jones
from the Indiana Jones films, I pounce in front of the moving vehicle and raise
my hand in order to stop the offending paedophile mobile.
“Can I help you?” I asked, knowing full well that I won’t.
“Yea, jus’ fort I’d drive around y’know..” slurred the
offensive offender.
“No.” said I. (this is a very abbreviated version of the
story but go with it)
“Well, that’s the last time I do you a favour. I helped
build that fence when you first opened.” Said the child snatcher gesturing
toward the fence at the entrance to the site.
“That would have been five years ago.” I quipped (I have
never quipped before and it felt good. I hoped to do it again soon.) “And you
would have been paid for your time as well.” I added.
“Plus,” I continued “We sell our own ice-creams and this is
a quite campsite. We don’t want people driving around uninvited. Now sod off.”
I didn’t actually swear at him, but I wish I had.
Off he went. Hopefully never to be seen again.
1-0
to me.
This evening saw a different type of CB. It could well have
been the king of CB’s as this was the moment my jaw slackened at the outrageous
demands thrown at me.
Pitching a late arrival I noticed a man in a red shirt
trying to direct the campers. I had walked infront to guide them onto a pitch (I’m
good like that) and turned around to see this oik stopping them. I waved the
campers on and they left this fool behind.
Once pitched I walked over and caught the man in order to
ask him what he wanted.
“Oh, I just arrived and pitched up over there” he smirked(it
is not important where he pointed).
I informed him of such things and he should know better assuming
he was a member of the club. He then shows me an out of date membership card
and starts asking for a discount.
“No.” I quipped. (It didn’t feel as good this time. Maybe I should
have quipped at bit more or with more gravitas.) “I should really charge you
full price if you can’t show your card. Tell you what though, I’ll just charge
you normal price.”
“NO. I’m already letting you off with the extra charge. You can
pay the same as everyone else.” I stood firm but I don’t think he noticed as I
was wearing loose fitting pants.
The CB got quite irate and demanded…yes DEMANDED a discount.
“Feel free to leave if you like.” I wasn’t as polite as that
sentence sounds but you get the idea.
“Oh.” He surrendered upon seeing the utter rage brewing
across my face.
“Oh, okay. How much is it then?”
Suffice to say I over charged the cheeky bastard by £5 and
called it 2-0 to me.
But it is a hollow victory.
There are cheeky bastards everywhere. It annoys me.
Thankfully I have an extra five pounds in my pocket and
there is a kiddy fiddler and old coot somewhere in the world who are both out
of pocket in one form or another.
We all need to do our bit to eradicate these scum sucking scourge’s
of society.
I love the bare-faced cheek/lies of that guy saying that he repaired a fence for you years ago, so you should allow him to ruin your business. Well done on standing your ground.
ReplyDeleteCheers man. If he comes round again I'm likely to stand on his neck.
DeleteHello Mr H, I'm still about although only just.... When we ran the shop we got stuff like this all the time, customers saying "what is your best price on this". I got to the point where I would look at the label and if it said £25 I would say "my best price is £35" usually to a slight look of confussion.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I have some sort of bug that has sucked all my energy and scrambled the brain a little more than nornal so I am at home being a whimp...... I think I may be a natual at this
Right man. Next time I'm down I'll show you some horrifying moves and how best to get rid of an individual's body/car/recent movement evidence.
ReplyDelete