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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

A very much delayed response to the film RED.

RED is one of the latest comic book adaptations from DC comics. Having not read this particular graphic novel I was intrigued to watch a film where I had no real idea what it involved.

Oorf wiv 'is 'ead!
I had brief understandings that this movie was about a bunch of retired secret agents – the title stands for Retired Extremely Dangerous, and also starred Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren but anything more than that was unknown to me.

And so I sat down to watch what surely would be an entertaining but probably not thought provoking 107 minutes of action.

What did I receive?

Well, let me tell you.

Without giving too much away about the films plot, which isn’t all that imaginative, what I can you is that at around 40 minutes into the film I punched the air and stifled a roar of laughter at what has to be one the silliest moments in film.

There are two or three really good fight scenes in this movie but it feels like there should be more. There appears to be many many minutes where not much happens, not even any repeatable dialogue – no “yippee-kay-ay!”’s no “I’m three time smarter than YOU think you are”’s nothing. Just a bunch of actors who seem a little older than they should waiting to be told to move out of the way for the stunt man..
A picture of Gods voice

The stunts though are very good. It’s just that there aren’t enough of them.

I would love to give this film more than 6 bullets of out 10 but I can’t and here are the reasons why.

Not enough fighting, although the fighting is pretty hardcore when it does happen, it just leaves you wanting a bit more....

There was a phone call I got from the missus half way through about something that could have waited until the next day which kind of spoilt the mood a little.

Plus the fact the dog needed a pee about ten minutes from the end and started whining and wouldn’t shut up meaning I had to pause the film and take him out. When I got back the play button wouldn’t work and I had to turn the dammed thing off and then skip through the scenes until I found the part where I’d left off.

So all in all RED is another film that’s a 6 out of 10.

I really wish there was a film out there that deserved more than 6 out of 10 but I am yet to find one.

When will Hollywood learn?

i-tunes sucks!


  1. Well a sequel has been greenlit:- http://www.comingsoon.net/films.php?id=83519
    I'm suggesting the title Red 1: Electric Boogaloo as I don't thing that subtitle got a fair whack the first time around.

  2. I wish Empire reviewed films in this manner.

    "Well, I was watching Lord Of The Rings, then my wife walked in and started talking about how I don't do enough round the house and that I sit around watching films all day. Why didn't Peter Jackson include some piece of dialogue that I could have fired back at her for situations such as this? Fuck you, Jackson!


  3. I am always pleased to see a new post Mr H from your excellent blog. Since we moved which is now 11 months ago I have not yet connected up the DVD player so you can tell my movie watching days are limited. We have a pile of movies to watch too, so I must get round to it one day. I don't have red in the pile though and having read your review of red I will get something different. After all if even the dog wants out before the end then I think you may be generous with that six.

    I have always thought someone should make a James Bond film when he is well retired, and older and wiser; I'm sure it could be a good movie.....

    1. I have just watched your little Youtube Nigela Lawsuit (or what ever her name is) clip... I think you might be up to doing that old Bond movie yourself....


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