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Sunday, 11 November 2012

I Am Not A Celebrity....Live

Here we go again. 
I'ts time for this great nation of ours to turn its brains off and leave common decency at the front door as ITV spans out a god awful attempt to keep idiots occupied in between showing advertisements for things you really don't need but will pay through the nose for because you saw it on the goggle box.

When its not the X Factor getting idiots knickers in a twist, its bloody "I'm a fucking nobody get me some publicity" or what ever it's called
For the briefest of seconds I allowed myself to glimpse at the line up of sad and desperate morons who still can’t understand that this is a show for the most desperate and fame hungry leeches.
Famous for throwing a pin in a wall.

From what I can remember there's a darts player, a comedian  from the 90’s (that’s 20 years ago folks!!) a politician who didn't tell anyone she was going to live in the jungle and a young lady soap actress who looks quite fetching with very little clothes on.

Famous for not having a penis or being fully nude (yet).

To be fair I did recognise more of the names this year (if not the faces) but why oh why would ANYONE want to go on this show – and why would anybody think it is a good idea to spend most of their Saturday night watching a dozen people who are not as famous as they would like to be trying their damned hardest to become more famous by eating a kangaroos bum hole.

This really is the lowest of the low.

There is nothing gracious or romantic about what they are doing. It is pure and simply the most vile and desperate actions of the worst that the bottom of the barrel has to offer.

Laughed at his own joke he told on TV more than two decades ago.

The bare faced shamefulness of these scum bags is highlighted by the fact that the only reason they are there is to highlight their profile. These people are getting paid A LOT OF MONEY to appear on this show. The money is not being raised for charity or to highlight a cause other than their own greed and vanity.

Even if you do look good in a bikini (Yes Eric Bristow, I'm talking to you) you really don’t need to parade your flawless skin and gravity defying ample breasts in a picture perfect waterfall …. um....Eric? No Eric for the love of GOD NOOOOOOoooooooo...........

Either a footballer or a rapist? Take your pick.

But beyond the fact that there is a semi-naked young woman on the TV who may or may not wash her hair in a pond (which has set twitter alight, and has caused me to to not go on twitter for the next few weeks) I really do not see any reason to sit and watch a bunch of nobodies moan about how hard it is to be famous and not have dry clothes or sky TV for 2 whole weeks.

It doesn't quite make it enough to force me to watch. It I want to watch a pair of tits on the TV I'll watch something with Ant and/or Dec in it.

Wait, what? THEY'RE IN AS WELL!!!!???

I'm just going to turn the TV off for a month and read a good book instead.

A pair of Famous tits.


  1. I have never watched the show Mr H, although there are family members out there in the big wide world who do. I have tried to tell them it is bad very very bad, but they say things like I know.

    I can only assume Eric Bristow has been added to the mix because of his skill with a spear, and his ability to kill a small creature such as say a parrot with a single throw . . . . . . 108 tea's. No they wont starve with Eric on board.

    Just as a passing fact when we ran our gallery/shop (it was an old building), Eric was the code name for a rat.

    As for Ant and Dec I have an irrational hate of them based on some silly idea in my head that they are overpaid talentless prats. I know I am a fool, I must be mad. voices in my head telling me things like that.

    1. Of course you do realize why no one else has responded Mr H, they are all glued to a certain TV show.


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