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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Friday, 8 March 2013

Spend My Money For Me - Honest!

Right I’m back.
3 days away from blogging and I’m already getting withdrawal symptoms.
I’ve been busy doing the things I need to do for the secret thing that I still can’t talk about yet and have made some progress.
Being unable to talk about the thing I am not allowed to talk about is becoming quite an arduous task but hopefully soon I will be able to reveal all.
When I say reveal all I don’t mean I will be appearing on embarrassing bodies or anything like that.
There are enough people that laugh at my naked form already… Mrs H for one!
But back to the task in hand.

Not done one of these for a while but I am giving you lot the chance to have an effect on the outcome of my life.

I am a terrible gambler. For two reasons. 

Firstly; I lose more than I win.

Secondly; I only ever bet the minimum amount. (I’m not bloody stupid)

Exactly 3 years ago this month I put £30 into an online betting account and have won and lost and lost some more over the past. I have not put any more into that account and have bet my winnings away so that my balance stands at £6.94.

In retrospect, I don't think that is too bad. I have placed at least one bet each and every day on a range of things from kickingball and the 'Lympics and Golf and tennis and Snooker and the horse running. When I think of how far I have managed to make £30 stretch I don't think I have done too bad. But time's time and now the original stake is fast running out it's time to go out with a bang.

With this last bit of cash I am offering to allow you dear reader to dictate how that money is lost bet.
I will bet on the horses at Cheltenham and I would like you to decide how I place the bets. (alright, maybe I am stoopid!-haha)

Cheltenham is due on Tuesday the 12th and I would like you to chose which category I place my bets on.
Please chose from:

Bet on all horses that have food/colour/boys name/girls name/ place in their name.

For example if you choose food I will place a bet on all horses that have a link to food in their name. the same goes for colour and boy/girl name etc.

Got it? good.

I have no idea how many horses there are in total, or how many bets I will be able to place.

I will choose the most popular answer in the comments boxes below.

Either way, I will print a copy of my bets on my next post for all to see and you can cheer on my horses as if they were your own.

If I win big I promise to share my winnings with you*.

If (and more than likely WHEN) I loose I will not blame you in any way shape or form.

It’s not often you get to bet with other people money (unless you are a banker) so don’t miss this 
opportunity to make £££’s (for me).

You really can’t do any worse than I have.

Good luck and keep ‘em crossed!!!

(for those who read via Facebook and are unable to comment here, please leave your option on FB and i will copy and paste all answers on the next post before the races - thanks)
*I never break my promises :O)

Here's a little video to get you in the mood. (nsfw)


  1. It was a bit tight between the prick and the Vagina...ahem...

    Boy's name. :)

    1. I do like a bit of pete n dud. Boys names gets off the mark. Thanks Lil. :)

  2. I just stick with my lottery numbers you can easily tell which ones are mine because I stick with the same numbers every week and mine are the six numbers that come out of the machine the least and appear never to come out together in the same draw. But having had the same six numbers since day one I fear that the week I miss doing the lottery or think sod it I can almost buy a bar of chocolate with that pound will be the week my numbers appear in big bright letters above what ever they are shown above (so to speak)

    Sorry I ramble, as for the last of your money I feel you have to put it on something RATs based. or I will go with Miss Lily's ideal but pin it down to the name ROB, good luck . . . . . if you need us to nobble a horse we could slip it a burger in the paddock . . . . . Why does that sound rude?

    1. I tried that Lottery once. 49 numbers to chose from and I only got the first 6! Rubbish... threw my ticket away and didn't bother after that. hahaha.
      If there is a horse named Rob or anything to do with RaTs I will have a cheeky side bet - it would be rude not to.

  3. I will race Rob around Asda car park. He'll be carrying Lily, and I'll be carrying you. You can invite a Mafia syndicate along and we'll throw money around and make a day of it.

    I think you should bet on any horses that sound like a euphemism. "Slippery Lad goes down in the hedge"

    1. Miss Lily can be a bit competitive in a race I fear she might resort to the whip........

    2. I would not like to race Lily. Shoe laces would be tied, snipers would be involved somewhere along the lines and A LOT of crying... by me!
      Plus I don't think any of us could cope with the "Take the shame" shenanigans at the end.


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