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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

B Is A Rubbish Letter...

I’m getting fed up of April already. It’s only the second and I have spent 100% of that time ill.

Somebody coughed on me and now I have germs inside my face and chest making me groggy and poorly sick.

My nose is stuffed with mucus, My back is sore, my arms ache, my head is on fire from the inside. My eyes feel bruised... is that even possible? to have bruised eyeballs?

My lungs have turned to sandpaper sandpaper and my kidneys are currently being used to ensure that there is no possible way I can get comfy. 

It hurts when I do this . . . . (ow!) And when I try to do this....... well, words can not do the pain justice.

But today is the day when I am supposed to talk about the letter B.

But I really am in no fit state to type today. 

I can't even think of a catchy title. Bed? Bad Back? Boring old fart should just walk it off and stop Being a Bum?


but no.

I only managed to crawl out of bed around 2pm to find Mrs H watching those Twilight films.

The utter horror!

Thankfully my pounding headache and knotted stomach forced to look away and concentrate of feeling sorry for myself long enough to not care.

That’s why B (todays letter) is a very short post indeed.

I have not eaten and therefore do not have the strength to fight stupidity.

Today they win. Today the Morons and fools and pillocks and numbties can have their day…. It is April fools day after all.

But be warned. Tomorrow I shall be hungry. I will be miffed and angry and … other words as well.

The letter C fast approaches and so too does my bed.

It has not been a good day.

B is a rubbish letter anyway.



  1. Well Mr H if you will let all those punters arrive intent on having a good time round you coughing and sneezing after weeks of cold and snow it is no wonder you are ill. You should have looked the gates and put a hug skull and crossbones up saying no Germs, not no Germans, they spend well and are generally healthier and look after things and their kids don't flush action man down the loo.

    Sorry Mr H get well soon it a long way to Z Coughing Deadly Epidemic Ferocious Gory Horrible Illness . . . . . I could continue (I lie) but I will go and disinfect my keyboard (better to safe) and remove the mask.

    Be good

    1. locked the gates not looked, that is as far they they should have got..... looking at them

    2. Germans are better than germs. We get quite a few during in summer and they always speak brilliant English. It makes me sad to think that as a nation us Brits are rubbish when it comes to communicating with our European neighbours.
      There is an almost inbuilt hatred and suspicion of anything foreign and yet they are usually better behaved, more intelligent and more forgiving than us.
      We could learn a lot from other nations.
      Germs on the other hand are right little buggers and I'm better off without them.

  2. It sounds like you need to go back to bed and hide from the evil letter B. Maybe C will be better for you.

    1. Thankyou Kellie. I had to work last night and didn't back in bed until after 11:30pm. But I slept like a log and have written something quite differently refreshing and appetising (?) for C - bit of a clue there.... :)

  3. Oh Mr H, so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well. But you still managed to pull out a funny post.

    Feel better soon. That's not a request, that's an order. I don't want you dropping out of the challenge. :)

    1. It's gonna take more than a couple of dirty germs to stop me from ruining everyones day with ill thought out going nowhere posts about nothing.
      I'm a fighter, A lover, a..hackhackcoffcoffsplutter...where me lemsips...hacksnort sniffle... wait, what was the question?

  4. lol, good post, feel better soon lol


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