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Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Uncontrollable Unisex Unicorns.

Oh no. we’re down to last few letters. THE HARD ONES.

The letters that nobody uses. I knew this would happen.

It’s been hard enough thinking of things to write about with difficult letters popping and making my head hurt.

What good words start with U?




That’s all I can think of, which probably says a lot about how my mind works.

So let’s go with that.

Are Unicorns Unisex?

Probably. In all the myths about Unicorns I can not remember anyone mentioning their gender. They probably did, but because it was a story about a horse with a horn on its head I wouldn’t have been paying much attention.

Nor do I remember any mention of said beasts wearing any form of clothing let alone underpants.

Of course underpants would indicate that the Unicorn was a male because men wear underpants. I wear underpants and the last time I checked I was a male. Just.

If a Unicorn wore knickers it would more than likely be a lady Unicorn, although in this modern age of ours there is no guarantee or legal requirement for men or women not to wear each others undergarments.

Some couples enjoy it. I wouldn’t know. I have never seen the appeal of wearing a lady’s underpants. Things would fall out. Chaffing would be involved. Nobody wins on those occasions.
If ever DID see a Unicorn with underpants on, we would not know for sure what its gender would be. It could be a cross dressing Unicorn which is probably more than likely.

That’s not to say anything bad about those who do cross dress. Each to their own I suppose.

Then again, the Unicorn could be suffering from incontinence, in which case it probably doesn’t want things like the fact it is wearing 
pants to be broadcast and brought to attention. That's probably why nobody owns one. They'd be incensed and very hard to control... not to mention the smell and mess everywhere. 

I don’t know what to do for the best now. I feel a bit guilty about all these mythical creatures who have very little bladder and/or bowl control.

It’s no wonder you don’t see many of them around anymore.



  1. Mr H I was a little concerned that of all those U words that float about and which admittedly we do not use a great deal the three that tuned up in your mind were Underpants Unicorns and Unisex (OK I have used two of these words also, OK I USED the word UNDERWEAR). I think you have been surrounded by campers too long.

    Good point about Unicorns though.

    1. It's an accumulation of years of telephone customer service followed by years of face to face idiot dealings. I think I am beyond hope!

  2. You're right, we women don't wear underpants. We just amble about, underwearless, enjoying the breeze ;P

    1. I may have misread this, but are you admitting to going around and farting on people whilst not wearing any under-crackers? This is both brave and fool hardy! What if you miss time and ... well it doesn't bare thinking about! Be careful. hahahaha


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