I like other biscuits but nothing compares to custard creams, as I think Sinaed O’Connor once sang.
Some people rave about digestive biscuits.
It is a solid gold fact that digestives DO NOT help with digestion and therefore are liars.
Bourbon are just penguin biscuits without the chocolate, which is a con.
Nice biscuits (pronounced ‘NICE’ not ‘NICE’) are not nice. They are far too sugary.
Pink wafers shouldn’t be classed as biscuits and I’m not sure about party rings come to think about it.
Rich tea are not made from tea although rich tea fingers go rather well with a tub of Nutella.
All other biscuits are just pale imposters compared to the mighty Custard cream.
The custard cream contains all the essential minerals and vitamins needed to keep you in tip top form.
This may or may not be true.
Either way. The humble Custard is awesome and if anyone who works with in the manufacture, distribution or sale of custard creams would like to send me some. I would be grateful.
As a side note. Jammy Dodgers are just plain wrong.
Jam belongs in butties not biscuits.
That would be like having marmalade or lemon curd in a biscuit.
I’m sick of typing the word biscuit now.
As a final thought, Ginger nut biscuits are acceptable in any circumstances.
Here’th end’eth the lesson.
*This post was inspired in part by the actions of the English Defence League being bamboozled at a protest the stupid idiots.