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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Monday, 7 October 2013

I am Innocent

Today I took delivery of Mrs H's new mobile phone. It is a samsung smartphone.

It is causing me a headache.

A more correct statement would be that Mrs H is giving me a headache.

All night, all I have heard is "What does this do?" and "It's not working!" and "I can't...."

it's ridiculous. 

I know that some people (myself included) are not the most aware when it comes to new things, but what really frustrates me is when people don't even try and expect me to know exactly what to do when they offer insightful information like "Why is it doing this???" but then give nothing in the way of factual insights as to what the IT is or what the DOING is supposed to be.

My answer is always the same. "I don't know.... let me have a look."

I look at the device and ask the question "What are you trying to do?"

The reply is always the same. "I don't know."

And at this point I die a little inside.

How am I supposed to know what you want when you don't know what you want?

I don't know.

It has now got to the point where I don't know what it is that I don't know and what I am supposed to know about the things that other people don't know about the things they don't know what they doing on the things they are doing them.

It is very confusing.

Right now, as I type this, I DO know that I am being looked at. 

With one of THOSE looks.

It's not the same look as when I forget to do the washing up, or when I make "smells" WHICH I DO NOT MAKE BY THE WAY, but it is one of THOSE looks that is an accusation that I am responsible for something going wrong.

I am being made to feel guilty for something I have not done.


I am not, nor have I ever been on Coronation street, nor have I ever been a childrens entertainer of any kind. So why am I being made to feel like a criminal?

I don't know. But there's probably an app for it.


  1. As someone who has worked on an IT helpdesk, I've seen this on an industrial scale. I've had people ring up saying "this system isn't doing what it should", so I've connected to their PC, watched them do what they need to do, get their information fine, and then say, "yes but it didn't do it the way I'm used to". When quizzed further, they tend to give answers like "I don't know" or "nevermind, you obviously don't know".

    No, I don't understand your.problem unless you articulate it!

    1. "I'll learn you good" is fast becoming a catchphrase of mine. If this was the 1970's I would have to say it whilst unlooping my belt.... thankfully it is not the 70's as Mrs H knows how to punch.

  2. I've never worked in information technology or the like, so I don't know what to say. I was hoping you'd be able to assist me in saying as what I intend to say, which is something I don't know.

    Though, my job requires me to interact with IT departments, and I like to think I'm a little more helpful than the typical I-don't-know guy.

    1. The problem is when people don't know they want to know and expect me come out all mystic Meg on their ass. Anybody who works on helpdesks deserves a medal. Having done it for four years dealing with pensions and life insurance the mindless dumbfuckery of some people amazes me.
      The fact they wont even give it a go and try for themselves just makes me mad. especially when they blame me when I don't know what to do straight away.

      It's not easy being a genius. hahahaha

  3. Hello Mr H . . . . . Men can't do that look like Women can, I don't know why. But men will tinker with new things for hours until they sort of work out vaguely what does what, and even if they don't work out what does what will have a sense of satisfaction at having spent several hours doing useful fact finding work tinkering with something new and shiny (it is best if it is shiny or better still has flashing things).

    Women like to pick up the new thing and just sort of use it to do stuff, they do not have the tinkering gene like us men, it is the tinkering gene that has allowed men to make steam powered frog sorting devices, models of WW2 bombers out of matchsticks and rude shaped bread. These are not things women do because they do not have the tinkering gene, it has been replaced by the scary look gene, which just scares us men and puts us off tinkering, making us all flustered and feeling guilty.

    Have you tried smiling and waving a rude shaped bread . . . . although you do need to remember to duck sharpish as you do it......


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