I took up the challenge straight away but had no idea what the chuff to write about.
Then the following happened.
Today is Friday, usually a busy day for me. This particular Friday was no exception, but in a small window of opportunity I set about fulfilling my destiny by laying some dirty cable.
Now, when I say "laying some dirty cable" I do NOT mean I spent most of the day sat on the porcelain throne. No.
What I actually mean is that I dug a small trench and threaded some armoured cable, supplied by BT, ready for my new internet connection to be installed.
the cable was rather mucky, as it was being dragged through some watery puddles and my hands got all covered in sludge and grime. I felt very working class indeed.
The reason for this is that Mrs H keeps nagging about the state of the internet and I wanted my own phone line in the house so that I can call up those late game shows on ITV and scream vile obscenities at the mindless presenters.
Mrs H on the other hand want's a more reliable internet connection in order to download her god awful shows about Vampires kissing each other and drinking liquor, or at least that's what I see when I look up at the crap she insists on watching. If I'm lucky I might see a little bit of boob, but these shows are so terrible that it really isn't worth paying attention to them for the change to glimpse a nipple.
So there you go. Sex, Nudes, Mud, Vampires and slippery substances with gratuitous pictures. What more do you need.
ps- If you have five words you would like to see in written form, then leave them in the comments box below and I'll sort it out for you.... FOR FREE!