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Saturday, 15 November 2014

A Good Old Rant #123763

It's been a funny old week for me.

When I say funny I actually mean not funny at all.

In fact it would be more accurate to say it's been quite a painful week.

Both physically and emotionally draining.

I been a bit ill for most of this week.

Not ill enough to be able to have time of work, or a lie in or sympathy from loved ones. But ill enough for it to make a difference to my every waking moment... and there's been a lot of those moments because, due to the slight uncomfortable pain I have, I have not had much sleep.

Not being able to sleep means that I am tired and grumpy. Grumpier than usual.

On top of this the internet has been playing funny buggers with me.. In fact - just as I have written that very sentence the whole page has jumped half an inch to the left.

This means that I can no longer see the edge of the screen.

Why has this happened? I do not know.

I pressed a button by accident and now can not get the screen to look right.

This is a typical example of the kind of issues I have been having. Small, silly little errors that build up like a snowball that rolls down a mountain side and turns into an unstoppable avalanche, just as I've stepped outside to "write my name in the snow".

On top of this the internet has been running really slow and crashing all over the place and I don't know why.

It really creams my corn.

I'm usually careful with the internet. I don't go on websites I shouldn't, I never click links unless I know where they will send me, I don't even get spam emails.

In the many years I have mooched around the web I have never received an email telling me I could extend parts of my body, boost my wealth and sexual prowess or even make $$$'s from home.

Maybe I'm missing out. Maybe if I had taken the small risk of clicking those "too good to be true" links I could now be a multi millionaire, living on my gold plated luxury speed boat who has saved a foreign prince from exile, married a Russian gymnast and now have the ability to satisfy women from across the room without trying.

Alas - none of that is in anyway close to how my life has panned out since I first logged on to the internet in the mid 1990's with that AOL CD that came threw the post.

Instead I sit here with bad guts, an ingrowing toenail, huge bags under my eyes, a laptop with a suicidal "down button" on it's keyboard and await the wife to come home from work ready to give me a right good bollocking for not doing the washing up...... again.

I'm also quite hungry.

So all in all it's not been a funny old week at all really, unless you get off on that sort of thing.

What are you, a wierdo or something!


  1. Ooooooo Poo I am experimenting as I write and that is a mistake as I am now writing my fourth comment (or am trying too). OK I am not entirely sure what is wrong with what you can see on your monitor as I can't see it. But I sure it will be easy to sort out, I say easy, it took me ages to work out what the cat did when it walked across my keyboard just because I didn't feed it. I am assuming you are using Google Chrome for the internet so if it is just the internet looking funny then you should find what is wrong if you click on the icon with the three little horizontal lines on the top right hand side of the screen when the Chrome is open there are all sorts of things there and more under the sub heading settings. If the machine is slow and there is any chance of something undesirable on your computer google . . . . McAfee Stinger . . . it is a free standalone program which is rather good at checking for nasties.

    Stay away from those dodgy sites they are well dodgy I avoid everything that says it can extend bits make me rich or tells me that women are really keen to show me parts or even anything that is free or games. . . I know it does not leave a lot, a few blogs and the BBC News, but I am easily amused. OK if you screen is funny even off the internet I am sure there is something simple to sort that you can always let me know a bit more and I will investigate. . . I will go and investigate for a few minute now as the alternative is knocking a wall down......

    OK chaps chocks away . . . . . keep formation, no heroics and see you back in blighty . . . . .

    1. Oooooo what operating system are you using Mr H . . . . I dont have Windows 8 available at home. . . . . . I'm old school.

    2. I am old skool too Rob (please note I spelt School old Skool - THAT'S how old skool I am -ahahahah) But I think the problem with the screen was that I pressed the wrong button.
      It fixed now but the whole computer is running slow.

      I managed to speed up my tblet by doing something very strange and high tech that involved using both hands and standing on one leg facing south west and it seemed to work. But the laptop is still a bit slow.

      I am going to do some heavy duty repair work on it with a hammer and half a brick if I can't fix up a bit. I have a few tricks up my sleeve to try out first.

      If come proper unstuck I'll let you know!


    3. I often hit control and something instead of the uppercase button and things happen. As it is I have to open the task manager every time I fire this old machine up and kill a couple of processes running in the background or the fan kicks in and its like sitting next to a washing machine having a fit.

  2. Aww Mr H. I'd send you some Custard Cream spread to make you feel better, but I'm beginning to think that it's a fabled myth, like the Minotaur or Paris Hilton's underwear.
    As someone who has just had to fork out for a new laptop, the only possible answer that I can find, is that technology is the Devil's Mistress.

    Hope you feel better soon and find a solution to your computer troubles.

    1. Thanks Lily.
      I have been away most of today visiting birthday boys and Grannies (my own gran that is) I have just got back and the biggest, greasiest MEATIEST pizza and funnily enough, feel a lot better.

      Serves me right for eating healthy all week - It's not good for you. hahaha.

      Glad to hear you have a new laptop - I know you've struggled in the past. Hopefully we will get more posts on your blog... the world needs them! :O)

  3. This sounds like one of my rants! I've ranted about the slowness of my old laptop, it was put down like Old Yeller: Out back with a shotgun. Then I ranted about my NEW laptop: Too many apps, the battery drained in 20 minutes until I hunted them down and shot them. And I'm always ranting about the evil company that provides internet & cable TV, they're pure molten evil!
    But the most annoying for ME? Is when I push something I shouldn't have and don't know what I did, so I have no idea how to fix it, or how to even search how to fix it. That's a special talent!
    Hope next week is less painful for you!


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