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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Saturday, 31 January 2015

One Measly Stab In The Dark

Many people are unaware of an affliction that has been sweeping the world.

It has been spreading for decades, but only in the past few years have innocent people become aware that they are infected.

It has been estimated, by those that know, that "..a lot of people"(1) have found themselves feeling helpless and confused when confronted by the most simplest of tasks causing frustration, rage, outburst of uncontrollable swearing and cold sweats and costing the average sufferer to loose hours of productivity each time an attack strikes. 

Doctors are unable to offer any assistance. Indeed, the scientific community at large are found wanting when it comes to answers.

As a species we are capable of using technology to look deep into outer space at the near beginnings of the Universe.
News reports have recently told of how doctors may soon be able to create babies that have three parents (although there are many videos showing how people have been trying this manually... naughty!)

As individuals we hold in our hands the potential to create strange worlds of imagination, songs that can bring even the most hardened souls to weep with joy or regret.

But can we remember a simple bloody password?

Sod that!

It is said that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite amount of typewriters, given enough time (and paper?), would ultimately recreate the entire works of Shakespeare.

But can one man with one laptop and three attempts at his disposal remember his bloody password to his bloody email account?

Can he chuff! (2)

Sat here, I am, right now holding on to that one single chance left.

I may as well be playing Russian Roulette on my own with a hammer.

I am 99.9% positive that all these programs and websites are the ones forgetting the passwords and not me.

I'm not daft enough to have the same password for every site.

I DO have system though.

There is method to my madness when selecting a password and for the most part it works.

But when I log onto a website I don't use that often, I-tunes for example... or even my Google account (as I'm always logged in) bugger me sideways if the damned things insists I have typed the wrong set of keystrokes.

I KNOW for a fact that I am RIGHT!

Computers are known for crashing and breaking and falling to bits... 




But no. I am now sat here with just one measly stab in the dark, a limp brain and a Freddie Mercury song rolling round in my head.(3)  

It doesn't help when first creating a password as I have to use a combination of (no less than 4 but no more than 12) letters (at least one in CAPITAL) numbers but no symbols and not something I have used in the past 12 months.

Don't even think about using a password you have used on another site, or the name of your partner, pet, home, friends, or anything vaguely reminiscent of a word you can actually remember or figure out with logic. 

So I am now left the only option of changing all my passwords to sdtRyhu5t6y, which just happens to be the exact same buttons pressed when I head-butt the keyboard.... so that should help.

There must be a better way than relying on passwords... we are living in the future for goodness sake!

(1) Figures correct as of date of posting.
(2) That man is me by the way...
(3) Too much love will kill you... for those taking notes.


  1. My computer practically laughed in my face after it insisted that I got my password wrong.
    Now I know that I put in the right password, the computer knows that I put in the right password, but the internet is eveel (which is way worse than evil) and likes to play mind games with the masses. It's like clearing your browsing history, knowing that it isn't really gone and that one day when the machine uprising takes place, all your internet secrets will be exposed...sorry, I think I may have had waaaay too much caffeine.

    1. The mind boggles Lily. Although the amount of semi naked oiled up body builders that adorn your blog I can well imagine your internet service provider has you down to a tee!

      hahahahahahaha.. mucky pup!

  2. I feel your pain Mr H . . . I have been there on many occasions, I avoid using the same password for stuff particularly important stuff. But I forget passwords, well most of mine. Being an IT man I remember half the passwords staff at work, but only because they keep asking me what their password is so I have a head full of other folks passwords which means mine stand no chance. The result is I have a little book which I keep in a secret place that folk dont know about . . . . .the hollow in the old cherry tree . . . . . . . Anyway I now write passwords in my little book so when all else fails I have a reference. . . . I know what you are thinking you should never write passwords down which is true but who would ever think of looking in a small metal waterproof box hidden in the hollow of the old cherry tree. . . . .AH DAMN.

    Hang on what was the combination lock number again. . . . . . .

    1. Although we are told not to write down passwords, I don't think there is anything actually wrong with that idea.

      I am going to find an hour of the week where I can sit in a dark room with a tin foil hat on and change all of my passwords for every program,website and domain that I use and then write them all down in a code only I know... well I might let MRs H know, she is better at remembering things than I am.


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