Hello again. Long time no see.
Hope you are well out there on the other side of the screen.
I am fine, thanks for asking.
What do you think of my new look?
Well, how rude! If that's going to be your attitude ....... we shall just carry on.
Long time readers will not doubt be aware of my final thoughts, last year, of ending this blog and no longer adding any more posts.
It appears that this was a mistake on my part.
for the four years I have made my mission to help humanity with it's biggest problems. Having created simple and easy to follow solutions to world hunger, a way to end all wars and disputes and how to get by with an 11-in-1 bespoke pointy stick (patent pending) I foolishly believed that I had done my part and future history was on track to welcoming the human race into a Utopia beyond anyone's wildest dreams.
I couldn't be more wrong.
No sooner had I made my declaration of intent that everybody seemed to turn into manics.
It become quite apparent that people could not get by without their weekly dose of THOUGHTLESS GIBBERISH.
In order to right to the wrongs of this planet such as Oil being cheaper to buy than bottled water, Boats blowing up without warning, planes dropping out of the sky and bin lorries head butted shops for no reason. I need to be HERE!
So it seems that even if I did want to stop writing - the world won't let me.
I don't think I can stand to read another report of people being stupid, idiotic or just down right wrong, knowing all the while that a simple weekly post from me telling people "don't run with scissors" or "stop eating yellow snow" is all it takes to make the difference between the world carrying on as it should and some muppet trying to eat his or her own face with a fork (everyone knows it's easier to use a dessert spoon!)....
So. I'm not going anywhere.
It was only when I made the final decision (in my head) to carry on that things stared to brighten up with the news story such as the one that history itself would have to be re-written because the Beagle 2 Mars probe DID actually land back in 2003 and so the silly Will.I.am song was not the first tune to be used to harass any Martians that may or may not be pointing a space laser at ice caps.... it MAY have been a Blur song instead - which isn't much better.
So, with just these few examples it has become clear to me that the world can not and MUST not be allowed to look after itself without my assistance.
You are not to be trusted and I'm staying RIGHT HERE until I can be certain you lot are able to look after yourselves.
This means I will be both finishing and continuing this blog in parallel.
I have not worked out all the logistics of how I'm going to create content for the blog whilst also not carrying on with it, but by the power of the MIGHTY CUSTARD CREAM, if there is a way I shall find it and it will probably involve a video or two.... if I can figure out how to get my webcam working.
In the coming weeks and months I shall be educating the world in the murky dealings of global conspiracies, creating a new word for everyday use as well as some extra special behind the scenes action from STOCKDALE!
As always, thanks for reading, stay tuned and keep 'em peeled!
I shall return next week with: A Football Update (A-FU!)