This weekend I (or at least my voice) shall be appearing on BBC Shropshire radio.... Something about an apology I have to give... I don't know, the Judge said I had to do it... anyway why I'm mucking about on the Radio, Here is a special GUEST POST from a young man with more personality issues than your average conspiracy theorist.
TRUTH WIZARD: HENRY HUT.
"Henry Hut here with an extra special post to help open your blind eyes to the truth!
Many folks will know about the death of Lion in Zimbabwe.
Cecil, was the name he went by (although there is no evidence that he signed his name as such) and he was something of a local celebrity in those parts.
People would travel from all over the world in order to spot this majestic animal in his natural habitat.
And then in r around the 1st of July 2015, Cecil was shot with a bow and arrow and left for dead.
Some days later poachers found his body, cut his head off and peeled his skin of his body as a trophy.
Those poachers are scum. I think we can all agree on that. But they are the worst villains in this tale.
The Human who shot Cecil in the first place was none other than a man called Walter Palmer.
But causing the death of a Lion (during an illegal hunt to boot) was not the most disturbing thing Walter has ever done.
You see, Walter is a dentist.
Dentists are pure evil.
Let me explain.
There is not a single person who is of sound mind would want to spend their day prodding around another persons mouth.
Regardless of the salary, there is nothing worse than looking into another humans rotten gob.
"Oh," you might say, "what about gynaecologists?"
That job comes a close second, with Proctology bringing up the rear..... (a-hem).
Dentists are crooks.
There, I've said it.
They not so much "failed doctors" as incompetent vets.
The human mouth is a foul place, or so we are lead to believe.
I don't bother with the dentist. I have not been to one since I was 14 and was told that I needed a filling.
Having just witnessed my friend going through the same procedure, I came to the quick realisation that dentists are in fact sadists and only want to inflict pain on members of the public.
I never returned to the dentist and in the past 20 years I have not had a single moment of toothache, pain or anything that would require a rubber gloved sex pest to shove his fingers into the only orifice that I can use to scream "fire" or what ever it is you should shout in the event of unwanted sexual attention.
What's more, these cheeky buggers have the bare faced cheek to charge for the privilege of shoving their greedy fat fingers INSIDE YOUR BODY!
It is a FACT* that dentists perform most of their costly procedures in the months and weeks leading up to holiday times.
If you have ever had a filling, or root canal, think about the month when it was done.
I wager it was just before the summer holidays or Christmas sales.
That's how they work.
The slimy gits charge YOU for mouth work that is not necessary just so they can go out and buy a 5 star cruise for their mistress or buying an expensive ivory chess set or even.... pay for a trip to shoot a Lion.
Then there are the toothpaste adverts.
Why would anybody promote a product that ACTIVELY reduces the chances of you earning more money.
It doesn't make any sense.
Unless of course, Toothpaste doesn't work and instead, increases the rate of decay in your face hole.
Dentists are the most evil people in the world and you pay them look into your mouth and sneer at you for not brushing your teeth properly.
I've been HENRY HUT, Truth Wizard."
This post is dedicated to Cilla Black, who passed away recently. She gave us all a "lorra lorra" laughs!... (not saying a dentists did it, but she was famous for those teeth...)
*not an actual fact