Pay inequality, bras, not understanding jokes, the glass ceiling, the inability to whistle, and even (gulps) menstrual cycles are just some the everyday struggles that female women have to cope with.
But there is another problem, an unspoken issue, that I wish to discuss today.
I am in fact talking about the sexual desires of the lady folks of today.
As a male man, I am easily pleased.
From the obvious boobs, bums or even just the slightest hint of flesh, any of the above are enough to satisfy most blokes basic urges.
Just to know they exist is enough to calm my base animal instincts to be honest.
Throw up a picture of any of the millions upon millions of age appropriate females that currently exist in the world and that will probably be enough to get me through my darkest moments.
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| A very typical everyday lady woman. |
Women though, at least hetrosexual women, wish they had it half as good.
A quick look around the world of celebrities and I have failed to find a single man who I would deem anything higher than a 6.5 on the sexiness scale.
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| An above average man |
A quick bit of research on Facebook shows that most of the womenfolk on my time line all (mistakenly) think that THIS bloke is sexy...
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| Sexy? or just Greasy? |
Look at him.
He is the epitome of desire.
Women want him.
They also want their men to be like him.
Unfortunately, most men do not like walking round looking like they are allergic to peanuts, soap and sleep.
This isn't make up you are looking at in that picture.
By all accounts, this is what Norm looks like on a good day.
A tramp.
Tamps are sexy now.
It used to be muscles or a beard, but now it's sweat and dirty finger nails.
I feel sorry for women... or at least I would if they had not brought it upon themselves.
David Beckham is still a fairly decent looking chap and I bet he knows to wash behind his ears.
Same goes for Brad Pitt. I bet he smells of Vanilla.
Women could opt to drool over these guys whenever they want. That's the joy of modern equal opportunities.
But they have been given the freedom of choice and it's gone straight to their heads and now they don't know what to do.
Madness has set in and now the beautiful women of the world are one small step away from becoming sexually aroused by a house brick.
Women: Beautiful in every way, but properly weird.
Well Mr H if this does not draw in a few page views from folk Googling things they should not then I really dont understand how Google do their searches. Which is probably true of women, I dont entirely understand how they do their searches either so as a chap I think you are entirely correct with your words of wisdom
ReplyDeleteHowever if that Norman Redus chap was to turn up at a woman's house looking like I bet she would tell him to have a shower get a hair cut and to put some clean clothes on. You see they might say Ooooo look at him but they generally dont like their chaps looking scruffy and a bit of a mess. I spend a lot of my life scruffy so I know.
Strangely bearing in mine the last thing on this post, at lunch time I bought a large portion of chips (very good chips as it happens) and had to share them with two women, I did not get an option not to share. Luckily it was a very large portion so PHEW. And to be fair I did not pay for them as I had no money what with my new career as a penniless poet so had to borrow the money to buy the chips. but I did go and get them. And it was round the corner a bit involving running across the road to avoid traffic.
Every woman I know (including Mrs H) loves a bit of Scruffy Norman.
DeleteThey think he is "well fit" and "a bit of rough".... If I dare say anything like that, I'd get a filthy look and sent outside.
It's double standards.
As for the chips, I can't believe you risked your life by crossing roads and then had to share your spoils. It's an outrage.
Women are like the mafia!
"a bit of rough" is all well and good Mr H but just wait until you come in at night looking a bit rough I bet Mrs H would not be happy about that.
DeleteAs for the chips I know, but I was outnumbered the only good point in all this is it was a huge portion and they were damn good. . . so risking life and limb was well worth it.
As a typical everyday lady woman I can confirm that that bloke is both sexy and greasy (the two are not mutually exclusive). Though this may be due to years of society lowering my standards as you said. I also suspect Brad Pitt smells more like Sandalwood. Please check out my blog if you get a chance, I'll be following yours :) Cheers : http://ribstheblog.blogspot.co.uk
ReplyDeleteWhen you say "that bloke" I can only assume that you are reffering to Rab himself, as the other guy off of the walking dead is mess.
Deletehaha
Thanks for the follow, I have had a quick look at your blog and saw food and a list of things.
These are two of my favourite things and so you shall have a new follower in me!
Happy blogging.