Next to my chair, where only I am allowed to sit, is a small table with a secret drawer (don't tell anyone).
Inside this draw are various hidden gems and treasures.
Amongst the many forgotten delights I recently re-discovered a computer disk.
blowing off the dust I found the words CIVILISATION 5 written upon the top and a very rare smile spread across my face.
I'm not one for playing computer games, but I have always loved the Civilisation games.
For those not familiar with the franchise, Civilisation is a strategy game where the player begins in the year 3000BC, or there abouts, with nothing but a group of settlers and through the process of discovering technologies, adopting social traits, defending against barbarians and other computer controlled empires, you must try to build a future for your citizens.
|War - HUH - What is it good for?|
It's not always an easy task.
For example, I am currently in heated talks with the Celts who claim I am building on lands that they believe is rightfully theirs (the idiots).
Meanwhile, the German Empire is constantly trying to goad me into declaring war against the Mongols who I am reluctant to wage war with as they have quite the large army near my boarders already.
Not only this, but the filthy Byzantiums have sent their spies to steal technology from my city capital city.
The Ottomans are still no threat after their failed attempt to capture my cities on the west coast of our shared land and are of no threat... for now.
Beyond this, I have recently discovered a huge landmass with untouched resources and I am currently in a race against time to claim as much land as I can before anyone else tries to settle a city there.
It's a land full of roaming hordes of vicious barbarians who continue to pillage my newly built farm lands and mines... the animals.
As the ages pass by, this new world is becoming more and more crowded.
My population is precariously poised to revolt if I can not appease them by building a Wonder of the World or at the very least negotiate a trade deal for some luxury items like gems or silk with another race, although it is getting harder to find friends in this world as I have, through no good reason, gained a reputation as being... and I quote "A blood thirsty warlord" - The bloody cheek.
I have not started a single war in over 1500 years ... some people just won't it lie!
It's not easy being an immortal God to my people. But in the name of the almighty Bumf, I shall prevail.
EDIT: Since writing this post, I have destroyed the Celts as they were involved in trying to gain support from other nations to wage war on my people.
This in turn led to the Dutch capturing one of the Celts cities to the north (which is naughty) So I took them to task and now control their land as well.
This caused the Germans to denounce me as a ruthless warlord, Which is fair as I did take things a bit far.
My peoples are very happy about this. It seems that my loyal subjects are psychopathic maniacs who love nothing more than the taste of their enemies blood on their lips.
If anything is to be learnt from this, it is that you mess with the King of England.... I have spies EVERYWHERE!!!!