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The words are all mine, most of the pictures are not. Some of the words are not mine either.

Sunday, 11 March 2012


There seems to be a growing trend online whereby our friends across the pond and by proxy idiot teenagers with stupid hair and skinny jeans and shitty attitudes and double shit taste in music are taking greater steps to completely obliterate the English language.

I blame the parents... and MTV (do kids still watch MTV?)
I’m not one of these self righteous protectors of the Queens English that insist that there should be no new words or changes to our language.

I rather enjoy new words, if they have a useful purpose.

I own no less than three different editions of the profanisaurus

Those that state that English should stay the same as it always has are often found to be lacking in come backs when it is pointed out to them that William Shakespeare (or Billy Wobble-Dagger to his friends) created more than a fistful of clever words and phrases that may or may not appear in this post (to be honest I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to search online for them – forsooth!)


There are some words and some acronyms and non-words that I find to be totally abhorrent and vile and do nothing but show just how vacant and unimaginative some people are.

The ones that really make me curse are as follows:

FYI – this means for your information and is used primarily by patronising shit eaters.

BTW – By The Way. I cannot understand why people would say this out loud, let alone take the time to type it out. People who use this on a regular basis are probably sexually attracted to cats (dead ones)

LOL – what is wrong with haha? Its only one more letter. The sort of idiot that enjoys using this abbreviation is not only showing their lack of attention to detail but also their lack of attention to detail is astonishing.

BRB – It took me a while to realise what this one was all about. Even within the context of a conversation I was found to be constantly ignored when I queried my counterpoint of the conversation as to the exact meaning of this three letter conundrum. Strange.

There are others that rile me and  agitate every sinew and fibre of my being but abbreviations aside there is one phrase that simply pisses me off.

Here it is...

“I could care less!”

No you couldn’t.

Spelling mistakes are fine by me. Some words are hard to spell or don’t follow the general rule of thumb. Others are just downright weird. Or maybe the person who is writing them down is in a bit of a rush because they haven’t taken their medication yet.

But saying the wrong thing entirely is just moronic. Maybe the person saying it is trying to ironic or sarcastic. I’m not sure. And quite frankly I COULDN’T CARE LESS.

If I could care less then I would be somewhat bothered by them. As it is, I’m not. Therefore I could NOT care less. I care to the value of zero.

Although that isn’t strictly true because if I didn’t care at all then I wouldn’t have wasted both your time and mine writing this drivel.

So maybe I could care less. But in the right context.

I am confused now. I need a lie down.

But before I do please take the time to check out this website which is the only acceptable use of the letters OMFG --> http://omfgdogs.com/ (sound required for best effect) 


  1. i love to mess with the context of acronyms when i`m on forums. i have noticed that that LOL has taken on a life of its own now, no longer "laugh out loud" - more of a " i acknowledged your statement as humourous, defining myself as someone who understands the joke ".

  2. LOL! That was too funny...did you see what I did there? Huh? Huh?

    And thanks for calling me 'pure bloody filth' in your 'You may also like to read,' section.
    Is it wrong that I actually enjoyed being called that??

    Btw, see what I...oh never mind.
    Left something for you on the last post.

    1. Yo Miss Lily where the hell did you come from you were not there a minute ago

  3. I am not a LOL man (child of cyberspace) I am a HA HA HA hah hah hah haha hah hahah haha hah hah hah ha h ha h hhah man (child of cyberspace). Longer yes but so much more fun to type.

    BRB never heard that before is it "But Really Boring"

    Anyway Yo Mr H .......CHILL Dude .......LOL (sorry) HAH HAH HAH HHAH HAH hah hah ha hahhaha haha haha hah ha

    1. The fact you are a HAHAHAHAHAHAHA kind of guy stands you in good form for when the revolution comes. its the lolz of this world that need a good stern talking to.

  4. That site you directed me to nearly gave me a seizure!

    If you think the use of the Acronyms grates in written form, I can't wait till you hear people using it to actually converse.

    I didn't think I was capable of such rage!

  5. The "could care less" thing annoys me too. In that instance, I could care less about them saying could care less instead of couldn't care less. And you probably couldn't care less about this comment.

    1. All comments are welcome and valid on this blog. infact most comments on here are more worthy of reading than some of the tripe i spew out.

  6. Thank you for this post. I'll be sure to pay more attention to limit my use (and abuse) of these vile acronyms from now on.

    -Barb the French Bean

  7. The "I could care less" phrase also pisses me off to no end. If I catch someone using it I instantly assume they're a moron.

    And I'd be right.


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