There seems to be a growing trend online whereby our friends across the pond and by proxy idiot teenagers with stupid hair and skinny jeans and shitty attitudes and double shit taste in music are taking greater steps to completely obliterate the English language.
I blame the parents... and MTV (do kids still watch MTV?)
I’m not one of these self righteous protectors of the Queens English that insist that there should be no new words or changes to our language.
I rather enjoy new words, if they have a useful purpose.
I own no less than three different editions of the profanisaurus
Those that state that English should stay the same as it always has are often found to be lacking in come backs when it is pointed out to them that William Shakespeare (or Billy Wobble-Dagger to his friends) created more than a fistful of clever words and phrases that may or may not appear in this post (to be honest I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to search online for them – forsooth!)
There are some words and some acronyms and non-words that I find to be totally abhorrent and vile and do nothing but show just how vacant and unimaginative some people are.
The ones that really make me curse are as follows:
FYI – this means for your information and is used primarily by patronising shit eaters.
BTW – By The Way. I cannot understand why people would say this out loud, let alone take the time to type it out. People who use this on a regular basis are probably sexually attracted to cats (dead ones)
LOL – what is wrong with haha? Its only one more letter. The sort of idiot that enjoys using this abbreviation is not only showing their lack of attention to detail but also their lack of attention to detail is astonishing.
BRB – It took me a while to realise what this one was all about. Even within the context of a conversation I was found to be constantly ignored when I queried my counterpoint of the conversation as to the exact meaning of this three letter conundrum. Strange.
There are others that rile me and agitate every sinew and fibre of my being but abbreviations aside there is one phrase that simply pisses me off.
Here it is...
“I could care less!”
No you couldn’t.
Spelling mistakes are fine by me. Some words are hard to spell or don’t follow the general rule of thumb. Others are just downright weird. Or maybe the person who is writing them down is in a bit of a rush because they haven’t taken their medication yet.
But saying the wrong thing entirely is just moronic. Maybe the person saying it is trying to ironic or sarcastic. I’m not sure. And quite frankly I COULDN’T CARE LESS.
If I could care less then I would be somewhat bothered by them. As it is, I’m not. Therefore I could NOT care less. I care to the value of zero.
Although that isn’t strictly true because if I didn’t care at all then I wouldn’t have wasted both your time and mine writing this drivel.
So maybe I could care less. But in the right context.
I am confused now. I need a lie down.
But before I do please take the time to check out this website which is the only acceptable use of the letters OMFG --> http://omfgdogs.com/ (sound required for best effect)