There seems to be a growing trend online whereby our friends
across the pond and by proxy idiot teenagers with stupid hair and skinny jeans
and shitty attitudes and double shit taste in music are taking greater steps to
completely obliterate the English language.
I blame the parents... and MTV (do kids still watch MTV?)
I’m not one of these self righteous protectors of the Queens
English that insist that there should be no new words or changes to our language.
I rather enjoy new words, if they have a useful purpose.
I own no less than three different editions of the profanisaurus
Those that state that English should stay the same as it
always has are often found to be lacking in come backs when it is pointed out
to them that William Shakespeare (or Billy Wobble-Dagger to his friends)
created more than a fistful of clever words and phrases that may or may not appear
in this post (to be honest I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to search online for
them – forsooth!)
Anyway.
There are some words and some acronyms and non-words that I
find to be totally abhorrent and vile and do nothing but show just how vacant
and unimaginative some people are.
The ones that really make me curse are as follows:
FYI – this means for your information and is used primarily by
patronising shit eaters.
BTW – By The Way. I cannot understand why people would say
this out loud, let alone take the time to type it out. People who use this on a
regular basis are probably sexually attracted to cats (dead ones)
LOL – what is wrong with haha? Its only one more letter. The
sort of idiot that enjoys using this abbreviation is not only showing their
lack of attention to detail but also their lack of attention to detail is
astonishing.
BRB – It took me a while to realise what this one was all
about. Even within the context of a conversation I was found to be constantly ignored
when I queried my counterpoint of the conversation as to the exact meaning of
this three letter conundrum. Strange.
There are others that rile me and agitate every sinew and fibre of my being but abbreviations
aside there is one phrase that simply pisses me off.
Here it is...
“I could care less!”
No you couldn’t.
Spelling mistakes are fine by me. Some words are hard to
spell or don’t follow the general rule of thumb. Others are just downright weird.
Or maybe the person who is writing them down is in a bit of a rush because they
haven’t taken their medication yet.
But saying the wrong thing entirely is just moronic. Maybe
the person saying it is trying to ironic or sarcastic. I’m not sure. And quite
frankly I COULDN’T CARE LESS.
If I could care less then I would be somewhat bothered by
them. As it is, I’m not. Therefore I could NOT care less. I care to the value
of zero.
Although that isn’t strictly true because if I didn’t care
at all then I wouldn’t have wasted both your time and mine writing this drivel.
So maybe I could care less. But in the right context.
I am confused now. I need a lie down.
But before I do please take the time to check out this website which is the only acceptable use of the letters OMFG --> http://omfgdogs.com/ (sound required for best effect)
i love to mess with the context of acronyms when i`m on forums. i have noticed that that LOL has taken on a life of its own now, no longer "laugh out loud" - more of a " i acknowledged your statement as humourous, defining myself as someone who understands the joke ".
ReplyDeleteLOL! That was too funny...did you see what I did there? Huh? Huh?
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for calling me 'pure bloody filth' in your 'You may also like to read,' section.
Is it wrong that I actually enjoyed being called that??
Btw, see what I...oh never mind.
Left something for you on the last post.
Yo Miss Lily where the hell did you come from you were not there a minute ago
DeleteI am not a LOL man (child of cyberspace) I am a HA HA HA hah hah hah haha hah hahah haha hah hah hah ha h ha h hhah man (child of cyberspace). Longer yes but so much more fun to type.
ReplyDeleteBRB never heard that before is it "But Really Boring"
Anyway Yo Mr H .......CHILL Dude .......LOL (sorry) HAH HAH HAH HHAH HAH hah hah ha hahhaha haha haha hah ha
The fact you are a HAHAHAHAHAHAHA kind of guy stands you in good form for when the revolution comes. its the lolz of this world that need a good stern talking to.
DeleteThat site you directed me to nearly gave me a seizure!
ReplyDeleteIf you think the use of the Acronyms grates in written form, I can't wait till you hear people using it to actually converse.
I didn't think I was capable of such rage!
The "could care less" thing annoys me too. In that instance, I could care less about them saying could care less instead of couldn't care less. And you probably couldn't care less about this comment.
ReplyDeleteAll comments are welcome and valid on this blog. infact most comments on here are more worthy of reading than some of the tripe i spew out.
DeleteThank you for this post. I'll be sure to pay more attention to limit my use (and abuse) of these vile acronyms from now on.
ReplyDelete-Barb the French Bean
The "I could care less" phrase also pisses me off to no end. If I catch someone using it I instantly assume they're a moron.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'd be right.