Hello and sorry.
It’s been exactly two weeks since my last post.
It has been two weeks since you last had to endure the
continuing spiral of despair that is my blog.
The irrelevant and off-kilter randomness and general downright
self inflicted anger at the universe has caused my laptop, and life in general,
to take a little side step in the goings on in my world.
Nothing’s wrong though. Don’t worry. I’m not dying. (that I
know of....)
What with the bank holiday, which kept me very busy, Mrs H
having yet another birthday (I’m sure she had only last year!) and visits from
friends and family over the past few weeks I have not really had the chance to
sit still long enough to get fed up at things.
Fear not – I am still fed up with the world.
But as busy as I have been, that is no excuse.
So here is my excuse....
It’s my laptop.
I believe the technical term for the issues I am suffering
from is called Onitsarse.
Onitsarse can be a severe mechanical breakdown of thingys
and whatsits.
When the thingys that controls the doo-dahs are not
correctly aligned the specific
Whatdoyoucall’ems become overheated and create a
paradox or paradigm or parallelogram.
There are two specific parts known as Whatdoesthisthingdo.
One of them is missing and the other is so coated in dust I dare not touch it
for fear of it simply evaporating like an ancient parchment.
The bearded chap in the computer shop laughed at me when I
explained the problem and so I walked out.
Moreover than this, the physical problems that continue to
exasperate themselves in terms of hardware now make impossible for me to be on
the computer for more than 15 minutes at a time. This is mainly due to the
dirty looks I get from Mrs H who can’t watch her cooking/murder/vampire shows
over the constant rattle of the fan or me swearing at the screen because of the
fire hazard that sits on my lap.
So there you go. That’s my excuse. It’s a piss poor one I
know. But it’s the best you’re going to get.... until I raid the piggy bank and
buy a new pc.
The chances are I won’t be able to post over the next week
or two either, which is a shame because there are more TV camera crews due next
week and more excitingly than that – We have a new supplier of local ice creams
and they really are flipping stunning.
Oh yes, and I’m popping back OOP NORTH for a couple of days
for my birthday to meet up with friends.
I’m now turning the laptop off to give it chance to cool
down and rub some cream on my legs.
Carry on the good work without me – I’ll only slow you down.
Cheers.
Bumf.
Carry on without you, I don't think so Mr H, you are one of the team. Although we will let you off with a bit of a rest. A hot laptop does not sound good, is it into doing updates and stuff sometimes that will set the fan off.
ReplyDeleteI stick with an old PC that was chucked out of a college a long time ago for being too ancient and out of date. But it works fine, my problem if the keyboard and my hands are not compatible I think it is because I am left handed.
OK I'm Babbling sorry about that, just make sure you come back soon this is one of my favourite blogs
I second what Mr Z says! The blogosphere seems incomplete without you.
ReplyDeleteThere are tons of bloggers that I love but only a handful that I love AND cherish and you Mr H, are one of them!
So you come back soon, ya hear!
Damn right! I second what Rob and Lily said, you're part of a unique Blogging team. We're like Marvel's Avengers, only without superpowers, or any discernible talents other than making people laugh online.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't think any of us turn into a big, green, hulk-like monster, no matter how much Green Giant sweetcorn we eat.
You've got one too, but it's your duty to remind her that she'll always be well ahead.
ReplyDelete